One Year in Heaven's Hell
by hellopants
Summary: This is the sequel to The Curse of the Smiley. It will make no sense if you don't read Smiley first. Our little Oren is teaching Edward and Bella a few new tricks! Read and enjoy!
1. Welcome Home Oren

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Oren and Bella is not happy about that!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter One, Welcome Home Oren_

_BPOV_

Even though I was incredibly sore this was the perfect moment. Edward sitting next to me with Oren in my arms in our bed. It felt like heaven. I looked down at Oren and smiled at his fuzzy bronze hair. I felt Edward's grip tighten around my waist. When I looked at him I noticed we had the same cheesy grin plastered across our faces.

"What are you thinking, Edward?" I asked quietly. Edward grinned and kissed my neck. "You can't think about that, Edward," I scolded.

"I wasn't thinking that, but now I am," he chuckled. Edward continued to kiss my neck but Oren started to stir in my arms. Oren opened his grey newborn eyes. I was very curious as to what color they would soon be.

"Hello little one," I smiled. "Are you up already?" Oren did a little yawn that was the cutest thing I could possibly imagine.

"I know what Oren wants to say to you Bella," Edward said in a loving voice.

"Me, too; he wants to eat."

"Nope, It's not that at all. He wants to tell you something else," Edward whispered into my ear.

"And what is it he wants to tell me?" I asked.

"Oren wants to know if you'll marry me," Edward smiled against the hallow under my ear.

"Daddy and mommy haven't been together for very long, sweetheart," I smiled at my beautiful, baby boy. Edward was playing dirty with this attempt.

"Will you please marry daddy," Edward said in a child's voice.

"Oren, daddy and mommy will get married some day," I sighed.

"Please, Bella. I want to show you how much I care," Edward pleaded.

"I know how much you care, Edward," I said, leaning my head against the side of his. I didn't need a ceremony to know who I was going to be with for all of eternity. But weddings are just so…tiring? There are so many things that run through my mind when you talk about marriage. Things are perfect why would he want to change this wonderful life?

"Bella, you know I won't give up on this. Marry me."

"Yes, okay Edward, now you have your answer. You know I am going to marry you. Why do you even feel the need to ask?"

"Because I want you to wear the ring."

"Edward, I don't need a ring–wait—you bought a ring?! When did you buy a ring?! We just had a baby! We can't afford things like that!" I fumed.

"We can afford the baby and much, much more," Edward smiled. "And, I didn't spend a dime on the ring." I looked straight into his eyes, trying to see if he was telling the truth about not spending money. Much to my dismay, he was telling the truth. I needed to change the topic fast.

"Edward," I sighed, "Oren is going to start crying if I don't feed him." Edward sighed and leaned his head back against the headboard. "Hey honey, could you go get that pillow thing?"

"Yeah," Edward said, as he jumped off the bed. When he jumped, the movement startled Oren and he started crying. Edward saw that he had upset the baby but quickly ran to get the pillow. I couldn't wait for him to get back so I held Oren next to my chest and let him eat. "Where _is_ the damn thing?" Edward yelled from the other room.

"Forget it, Edward. I'll just use one of the pillows in here," I yelled back, and yet again startled Oren. We really had to work on volume control.

"You are not getting _that _on my pillow!" he hollered.

"Edward, we need to quiet down," I said, just loud enough for him to hear.

"A'ha! Found it!" Edward ran into the room and handed me the curved pillow. I put it under Oren and moved so I didn't have to support him as much.

"Thank you, Edward," I smiled. Edward wasn't paying attention to what I was saying, though; he just kept looking at Oren and my breast. "It's not polite to stare Edward."

"What does it feel like?" he asked.

"It's hard to describe. There's something so motherly about it. Unless you want to try feeding him, I can't really describe it," I smiled. After nine months, I was finally a real mom.

"But if you had to describe the actual feeling?" he prodded.

"Edward, just stare at the boob. It's so much easier than the Spanish Inquisition," I instructed. He did as he was told. After awhile his staring started to make me blush. "Resume the questions."

"Does it hurt?"

"Did it seem to hurt me when you have did it?" sarcasm rolled off my tongue.

"No, definitely not. It doesn't feel like when I have did that, right? Cause that would just be wrong."

"No, Edward. It feels like I am taking care of my baby, like I'm being a good mom."

"Is there anything I could do to help?" Edward asked. I just started laughing, apparently too loud because Oren let go and started looking at me.

"Hey, my sweet angel," I said in that strange voice you always use when you talk to a baby. "Are you still hungry?" Oren didn't even make an attempt to eat; he just looked at me. Edward came and sat behind me on the pillows so he could get a good look at his son.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Edward asked against my shoulder.

"Not even close, are you?"

"Nope, and I highly doubt Oren is either," Edward smiled.

"I have a feeling this poor little one is going to get sleepy very fast tomorrow," I cooed, putting my finger in his little hand.

"I don't think anything could prepare him for our families." Edward waited a moment but then continued speaking. "Could you do me one thing?"

"I suppose," I said with hesitation.

"Could you wear the ring? It was my grandmother's ring and when I got it from my parents, I told them I was going to propose on the trip. Could you please wear the ring tomorrow?" Why did _that_ have to be the thing he asked for? I would have made him supper or did the next diaper duty, but no…He had to ask about the ring.

"Where is it?" I surrendered.

"Right here," Edward said, pulling a small box out of his pocket.

"Why would you keep that in your pocket?"

"I was going to ask you on the trip, remember? It was in my luggage and I didn't want to leave it unattended at the hospital," Edward smiled. Edward saw that I wasn't about to reach for the box so he slowly opened it.

"Edward that ring is huge," I said, mesmerized by the enormous stone I was going to have to wear.

"It matches her necklace, or rather your necklace." Edward searched my face and I just sat there staring at the ring while holding a very sleepy Oren. "I can get you a different one if you don't like it," he offered.

"But it wouldn't be your grandmother's, and it's so beautiful. But I can't wear that to school. There are too many people who can hardly pay their tuition who would love to get their hands on something like that."

"I think I can live with that, but you can still wear it until you go back to school. Then you will just have to wear it when we're out, and when we are home, and when we're in bed…" Edward countered.

"If you change Oren and put him to bed, I'll wear the ring tomorrow," I sighed. Edward took Oren and smiled as he walked out of the room.

I groaned and let my head fall back, hitting the headboard before the pillows. Not only was I incredibly sore, but now I was officially engaged, too. I loved Edward and I always will. I took the ring out of the box and stared at the glistening champaign colored stone. Now we just had to tell our families. This should be rather interesting.

_**XOXOxoxoxOXOXOxoxoxOXOXOxoxox**_

**Author's note;**

**Well there you have it, the first chapter of the sequel to ****The Curse Of The Smiley! ****I hope it is up recived as well as the first was! You all rock! I still can't believe how many of you voted for a sequel! I want to say thank you to My-Bella, Angelic Messenger17, E. C. Cullen, and Lizbre! I love you ladies! **

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants!**

**AHHHHHH! I forgot something! My-Bella came up with the name people! give her some love!**


	2. Oren Meet Your Crazy Family

**Disclaimer: I own a piece of pizza! That's it though. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Two, Oren Meet Your Crazy Family_

_BPOV_

"My parents are going to be here any minute, Edward! We need to get you both dressed!" I hissed. Edward raised his hands in surrender and moved out of bed toward his dresser. I took Oren out of his bassinette and walked to his room so I could grab his outfit. It was blue striped with a little teddy bear on it. I took my time dressing Oren, taking in the sight of the cutest baby I have ever seen.

"Bella, have you seen my black pants?" Edward hollered from the other room.

"Wherever you put them last, Edward," I said, as I walked into our room.

"BELLA!" Alice screamed.

"Alice, how did you get in the apartment?" I reamed. Why did she always feel the need to barge into rooms?

"I made copies of your keys silly," she giggled.

"Since you broke in Alice, you can change his diaper and get him dressed!" I said, as I walked away.

"Um, Bella?" she asked in an unsteady voice. "Could you do it?"

"Yeah, Alice," I sighed as I walked back into the room. I placed Oren gently onto the changing table and started on the diaper.

"Bella, I think there is something wrong with him," she gasped. "His poo looks like tar!"

"Calm down, Alice," I quietly laughed. "It's called meconium, otherwise known as a baby's first poop. It lasts for the first couple of days." Alice had a disgusted look on her face that made me chuckle.

"That's disgusting, Bella," Alice gagged. "Why would you even want to know that?"

"I have to know that Alice; it's part of being a mom," I smiled.

"I suppose you're right, and as his godmother I need to know these things, too," Alice giggled.

"Well, I finished this diaper but you can take the next one if you want," I offered. At that moment, Edward walked through Oren's bedroom door in a button up shirt and a pair of boxers.

"Are you su—HI, Alice. When did you get here?" Edward asked, trying to cover himself.

"I don't know where your pants are, honey," I sighed. "And apparently Alice made herself a set of keys."

"Well, I _could_ have just picked the lock," Alice giggled. Yes, she could have; she used to pick the lock at our old apartment all the time. I just shook my head and returned my attention to the sweet little boy lying in front of me. I heard Edward walk off and Alice's picture phone click. I would have to have her send me that one.

Once everyone was dressed and Alice had finally stopped laughing at the picture of Edward in his underwear, we went and sat in the living room, waiting for the others to show up.

"How's Jasper doing Alice?" I asked, handing Oren to Edward.

"Good. He's registering for classes today," Alice chirped. Just then the buzzer went off and Emmett's voice boomed through the little speaker in the apartment. After we hit the buzzer, Edward and I made a shield around Oren. There was no telling what Uncle Emmett might do.

"Hello!" Emmett yelled, as he burst into the apartment. Rosalie was behind him with a sweet smile on her face. When Oren heard Emmett yell, he started crying loudly.

"Thanks, Em," Edward said sarcastically, as he walked out of the room with Oren.

"Edward, it's about time for Oren's next feeding so you might as well let me take him," I said, as I followed him. Edward sat next to me instead of going back out to the living room to see his brother. "You don't have to stay in here, Edward. We're fine. It's not like you can help with this."

"But I want to. Plus, I can put him to sleep after you feed him so that we can go and try to keep our families quiet," Edward whispered. I started feeding Oren and Edward just smiled and talked with me quietly. Every few minutes, Emmett would knock on the door and disturb Oren, so we ended up going through the process multiple times. Finally Edward stepped out to get Emmett to sit on the couch and leave us alone. While Edward was taking care of Emmett, Rosalie walked into the room and shut the door quietly behind her.

"Hi, Bella," she whispered. I had no idea why she was studying me while I was feeding Oren. It made me blush seeing how closely she was watching. She was worse than Edward!

"Is there something you need Rose?" I asked. Rosalie gave me a weak smile before nodding her head. This is so unlike Rose, I wonder what's wrong?

"Bella, I'm pregnant," she said in a small voice. _Well that was fast!_ She looked confused at my expression. "He really didn't tell you?"

"Who didn't tell me, Rose?" My tone caused Oren to stir but he didn't stop eating.

"Edward," she whispered. "He made a joke about me being pregnant and he guessed after that." This would definitely be something to discuss with my _dear _fiancé. I can't believe he has been keeping secrets!

"I'm happy for you Rosalie, and my deepest sympathy for your soon to be departed brother in-law."

"Relax, Bella," she said, noticing Oren had stopped eating once again. "You know how Edward is about other people's business." She had a point there; Edward never liked to tell anyone else's story. He had to learn to, though. If I was going to marry him,he neededto tell me everything. This is why I didn't want to get married.

"So, how far along are you?" I asked Rosalie.

"I got pregnant a week after the wedding," Rosalie smiled, as she raised her shirt to show me her stomach. Rosalie had a perfect stomach so you could start to see her little tiny bump. I put Oren up to my shoulder and rubbed his back, trying to get him to burp.

"I bet Emmett is thrilled," I laughed lightly. Oren let out a rather large burp, causing us both to laugh. Edward stepped into the room and smiled at all of us getting along. Edward kissed my cheek and then kissed Oren's head.

"I told you I would take him when you were done feeding him," Edward whispered, picking Oren up, out of my arms.

"I was having a conversation with Rosalie," I smirked. Rosalie tried to excuse herself but I didn't want her to leave quite yet. "I really am happy for Emmett and you…and the baby." I shot a glance at Edward as I said the last part.

"Okay, I need to go talk to Emmett," she said, as she bolted out the door.

"Edward, when they leave, we need to talk," I said as I walked out of the room. I must have been distracted by Oren, because Charlie was sitting on the couch. "Hi, dad," I smiled.

"There's my beautiful daughter," Charlie smiled back. "How's my grandson?"

"He is currently sleepy," I laughed. "Edward's trying to get him to sleep." I was so happy to see Charlie; I really hoped he could be around more for Oren. Things were tough with having to take care of Renee, that we didn't really get to bond.

"I can't wait to meet him," Charlie chuckled. "Oh, I forgot. Billy is throwing a Halloween party this year! He wanted me to ask if you three would come." I hadn't seen the Blacks since I had started college. They were close friends with Charlie and the youngest one was my high school best friend, Jacob.

"That sounds good, dad. I will make sure to talk to Edward about it," I smiled. SHIT. I forgot to put on the ring! "Dad, could you excuse me for a minute?" He nodded and I made a run for the bedroom. The ring wasn't on the nightstand, or in the box, or on the dresser. Edward was _not_ going to be happy!

"Looking for something, Bella?" Edward asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Yes," I sighed. He gave me my special smile and pulled the ring out of his pocket.

"I may have to glue this onto your hand," Edward joked.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm not used to it so I just forgot," I explained. Edward took my hand and slowly slid the ring onto my finger.

"I could get used to putting it on you, though," Edward smirked. "I love you, Isabella."

"I love you, too, Edward." We walked out of the bedroom hand in hand. Together we peeked into Oren's room; he was still sleeping like an angel. When we reached the living room, I could feel Alice vibrating all over the entire apartment.

"Why didn't you tell me, young lady?" Alice pouted.

"Leave her alone, Alice," Edward warned. Alice's face turned to frustration and she crossed her arms across her chest. I let go of Edward's hand and walked into the kitchen to start lunch. Everyone had suggested we go out to eat, but this was only our second day home and I didn't think that Oren was ready for that quite yet.

"You could have told me during our little heart-to-heart earlier," Rosalie said from behind me, causing me to jump. When you are having one of the worst periods you will ever have, _don't_ jump.

"Ouch, Rose," I groaned, grabbing my stomach. "This is one part of having a baby I could live without."

"So you still hurt after having the baby?" Rosalie inquired.

"Yes, Rosalie," I sighed. "But the plus is that after you finish the getting rid of the baby period—if you're breast feeding—you hardly get them." Her face brightened a little, thinking about having the baby and still not having your period.

"So we have to find out you two are getting married without you saying a word about it?"

"Edward suckered me into making it official last night," I grimaced. I still didn't think that we should be engaged so soon. I loved Edward and I never wanted to be apart from him, but marriage did not have to be part of true love.

"How did he manage that?" Rosalie laughed.

"He used the baby," I stated. Rosalie just started laughing, when I heard the apartment door open. "They're here," I said in a freaky, horror movie voice.

"Hide the women and children…Oh wait. That's us," Rosalie joked. "It's time to run; the boys are going to expose both of our little secrets." Rosalie grabbed my hand and we tried to sneak through the back of the living room so we could hide out in the bedroom.

"There are our two favorite ladies," Edward and Emmett said in unison. _Crap_. I turned to face Edward, feeling my cheeks burning already.

"Well hello, Isabella," Elizabeth cooed from the entryway. "Why don't you come here for a moment?" Edward Sr. was standing next to her, removing his coat and handing it to Edward.

"I was just about to check on Oren," I said nervously, before turning to Rose. "Would you like to come with me?"

"I would love to, Bella," Rosalie said, as she dragged me down the hallway. Once we were safely inside Oren's room, we both pressed our ears to the door to try and hear what they were saying.

"So what is it that has them getting along so well?" Elizabeth asked from the other side of the door. "I have never seen them so well behaved toward each other." I could imagine Emmett and Edward turning toward their mother with beaming faces. Rosalie and I rolled our eyes at each other and returned our ears to the door.

"Isabella Marie Swan, get your big butt out here!" Alice screeched, only to have Oren join her shortly after. I went over to Oren's round crib, picked him up and started gently bouncing him in my arms. Rosalie basically cooed when she saw us.

"Time to go yell at Alice for being loud," I said through my teeth. I walked out of the room with Oren in my arms and Rosalie at my side.

"There is my beautiful grandbaby!" Elizabeth said, as she basically ran toward us. The moment she was standing in front of me, Edward was opening the door for more of his family. I had one family member here and he had over a half a dozen. Gwen, Esme, and Carlisle walked through the door and smiled at me holding the baby. I was so glad I had let Edward pick out the larger apartment, with all of his family leaving their huge homes to come and visit us here.

"Now that everybody's here, there is some new we would all like to share with you." Emmett smiled with the biggest smile I had ever seen on his face. Emmett and Edward moved through the room so that they were at our sides. The way we were all standing, it almost felt like we were on a stage. I DON'T DO STAGES!

"We have a little announcement," Edward said, putting his arm around my waist.

"Oh, Edward! We already know by that huge thing on her finger," Alice butted in. I could see Edward glaring at her from the corner of my eye.

"Well, I'm gonna go feed Oren," I said nervously, as I tried to make my escape. I only made it one step before Edward pulled me back by his side by my waist. I winced when he touched my cramping abdomen. He noticed and eased his grip.

"Bella, you just fed Oren a half hour ago," Edward whispered in my ear with disappointment clear in his voice. After Edward was done, he turned to Alice and raised his voice so everyone could here.

"Alice, not only did you wake up Oren, but you ruined a perfectly good surprise," Edward scolded.

"But we still have our announcement, so shut up, little brother." Emmett was still beaming through his aggravation. "Rosalie is pregnant!" Damn it, Emmett! He startled Oren. What was it with Edward's family? I looked at Charlie to see a very uncomfortable face.

"Only grandparents are allowed in Oren's room right now," I commanded, as Edward and I walked to Oren's room. I sat in the rocking chair, trying to sooth Oren; it didn't take long because he was already sleepy.

"I can remember your mom sitting like that with you," Charlie said sheepishly, as he walked into the room. He moved behind the chair and Edward sat on the foot stool. Elizabeth and Edward Sr. soon joined us and stood next to Charlie; they were all staring intently at our own little family. This was all I could ever ask for.

**Author's note;**

**I am so, so, so sorry that it took so long. I had a crazy week. I have been out of town for most of it. I did not forget I could never forget. Please forgive me for taking so long. I want to than everyone, I love the cookie league! It's a group of fan fiction writers-including me-that have teamed up to write funny one-shots. Most of the stories are on My-Bella's page so if you haven't already you should go check it out. **

**Apologies, **

**Hellopants **

**P.S. I should be posting a short chapter tonight as a sign of good faith! **


	3. Ripping

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Three, Ripping_

_RPOV_

Emmett and I had had a long night. We're currently sitting in a doctor's office, waiting for him. I knew that Bella had had some issues with bleeding, so I figured it was nothing, but Emmett insisted that I get it checked out by the doctor. I thought back to a few weeks ago when we announced my pregnancy. I was so happy that I was going to be a mommy. This life was more then I ever could have asked for; I had a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby on the way…and, I was going to be the hot mom!

Emmett smiled nervously at me from the corner of the room. He was sitting there, just playing with his fingers.

"Bella had the same issues, remember, Emmett? This is nothing," I reassured him.

"This doesn't feel right Rosie," Emmett sighed, as he buried his face into his hands. The handle on the door moved and Emmett shot straight up in his chair.

"Rosalie, I am going to need you to lie down so we can give you an ultra sound," the doctor instructed. I laid down on the bed and smiled at the thought of seeing the little angel that was growing in my stomach.

They didn't do the regular stomach ultrasound that I had been expecting. When the doctor had me use the stirrups, I suddenly knew that my vagina would be on display. I cringed when the cold machine started its little journey to find my baby. I couldn't see much, but then again, I didn't know what I was looking for. The doctor's face fell a little, which made me nervous.

"I was hoping I was wrong, but this tells me I was all too right," the doctor mumbled. Emmett started breathing heavily in the corner and I could see his eyes widen.

"What were you right about, _doc_?!" Emmett growled. The doctor took a step back from the very aggravated bear in the corner, that just happened to be my husband. I felt tears start to pool in my eyes as I waited for his response. I had thought it was nothing, but his silence made me start to worry.

"It seems that you have a molar pregnancy," he said in fear, most likely because of Emmett. I hoped that this wasn't something too serious.

"What the hell is a molar pregnancy?!" Emmett yelled. The doctor's face dropped even further, telling me that this _was_ actually serious. _Oh shit_. I couldn't breathe; I just stayed lying down, trying not to cry.

"I won't know what kind of molar pregnancy it is until after…we…um…Until after we take it out," he stuttered. Emmett hit something but then realized that I wasn't breathing and came next to me and whispered in my ear.

"We can get through this Rose. I promise." Emmett's glare returned to the doctor and I could see the doctor take another step back, tears stinging my face. Why did this have to happen to me? Bella didn't even try and she got her baby! This is what I want, what I long for, and it's being taken away.

"Explain," I croaked.

"There are two types of molar pregnancy. The first is just a mass of cells that happened to grow on your uterine wall and created an artificial pregnancy." I could hear the doctor gulp before he continued. "The second is a very abnormal fetus that can't develop." So now I make abnormal babies?! This was all my fault! Why couldn't I just have a baby? Why did Bella get this and I didn't? It's not fair!

"And if we try again?" Emmett asked in a firm voice.

"Any future babies shouldn't have a problem. If you want to try again, I suggest taking certain vitamins. I have a patient who also had a molar pregnancy, but now she has two wonderful boys," the doctor informed us. I was glad to hear that I could at least have more babies, but it's not right that this happened. I hate this. I hate myself for not taking care of my baby. I just can't think about how this happened. I need to stop this, but I just can't.

"When?" Emmett asked, with fierceness in his voice. We all knew he was talking about when they would…take my little angel.

"Immediately," the doctor whispered, just loud enough for us to hear. If it wasn't bad enough for him to tell me that my baby was just some invader cells, he then has to go and tell me that it has to be ripped from me, and not even ten minutes later!

**Author's note;**

**Did you miss me? I missed you. This is for everyone who forgives me! Ok so know I am going to go into a little more detail…about who I would like to thank. Firstly the ladies from the cookie league; My-Bella, Angelic Messenger17, and E. C. Cullen! Next is my dear Lizbre and all my fanfic gals! **

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants**

**P.S. I haven't done this in awhile so I feel the need to say REVIEW! **


	4. Jealousy

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…well I guess I own Oren.**

**You all should thank My-Bella, I was going to give up on this chapter and she saved it!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Four, Jealousy_

_BPOV_

"Bella," Edward growled, as I pulled away once again. This whole-six weeks without sex was starting to get the best of both of us. I had to remind myself that there were only two weeks left of our much hated abstinence. 

"The doctor said I can't Edward," I sighed, wishing that I could just ignore the doctor. But for my little family's sake I would wait until the doctor said it was okay. Edward leaned toward me and started that tempting kissing once again. Why did he have to be so damn irresistible? 

We were interrupted by an angel's scream. Oren felt the need to intrude on our intimate moments. "I'll get him," Edward murmured, as he removed himself from me and rolled off the bed. I could tell he was starting to feel neglected and I needed to make things up to him soon. Edward walked into the room, gently bouncing Oren in his arms. "He's hungry, mommy," Edward smiled. I patted the bed next to me and he sat down and handed me Oren. I started keeping that curved nursing pillow, called a boppy, next to the bed so Edward wouldn't have to search for it every time. 

"Edward, do you think Emmett and Rosalie would mind watching Oren for a few hours so we could have some alone time?" I asked. Edward's whole face lit up at the thought of time for just _us. _We tried to get as much as possible when Oren was asleep, but I usually fell asleep with him. 

"I thought you would never ask," Edward smoldered, before getting cut off by his phone. "Speak of the devil," Edward murmured. There was a pause before he spoke again, turning back around to face me. "Emmett is forcing me to leave the room. I'll be back in a minute."

Edward had been gone for quite awhile so I started to get up to find him. When I was in front of Oren's room Edward grabbed my shoulder gently but strong enough to stop me. 

"What's going on Edward?" I asked. 

"Bella, I need you two to pack an overnight bag," Edward instructed with a serious tone. He had just gotten off the phone with Emmett and looked upset.

"Would you mind telling me why?" I asked, trying to keep Oren quite as he fussed in my arms. 

"It's Rosalie," Edward sighed, as he dropped his head into his hands. "Emmett is calling in reinforcements."

"Is she that moody?" 

"No, Bella. She lost the baby, or rather lost the cells that grew imitating a pregnancy." My jaw dropped and I started breathing heavily. This was really, really bad! "Call Alice," Edward instructed. 

I ran to our room and started throwing clothes into a bag. I know how I felt when I thought I had lost the baby; no woman should ever have to go through that. I grabbed my phone and dialed Alice as I ran to get our toiletry bag from the bathroom. 

"What's up Bella?" Alice asked when she answered her phone. 

"Get a bag and get to Emmett and Rosalie's as fast as you can." I stuffed everything in the bag and tugged the zipper shut. 

"Why? Are we having a slumber party? You guys need to pick better timing because I have an evening class starting in two hours," Alice chirped. I flung the bag out into the living room and went to Oren's room. Edward already had Oren's bag packed.

"Honestly, Alice. Do I sound like I am going to a slumber party? Get a bag. Emmett needs help with Rose," I instructed. I grabbed some containers of milk out of the freezer, in case Edward needed to feed Oren, and put them in a small cooler along with an ice pack and a bottle. 

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Alice was starting to sound as upset as I was.

"There was a problem with Rosalie's pregnancy. Now go get your stuff and drive!" I yelled into the phone before hanging up. Edward came into the room with a bundled Oren in his arms. If it was cold now, I had no idea how bad it was going to be in the winter. This September was already cold. 

"Did you get our bag packed?" Edward asked in a hurry.

"Yes. Are you sure you have all of Oren's things?" 

"Absolutely," Edward said, before handing me Oren and grabbing all of the bags. We started down the hallway to the elevator and rode it down to the parking garage. We strapped Oren and ourselves in and were on our way. Luckily, it was only a forty-five minute drive to Emmett and Rosalie's house. 

When we pulled into the driveway, Emmett came running out of the house and swung Edward's door open. Emmett stuck his finger right in Edward's face. "Don't you dare bring Oren into the house. It's hard enough for her as it is and, if she sees him, I will not be responsible for a baby snatching or for objects being thrown at your head!" 

"We aren't leaving him in the car, Emmett!" Edward fumed, as he stepped out of the car. 

"Calm down, baby brother. The ladies are going to spend time with Rose and I need _you_ to help _me_ calm down. As much as I hate to admit it, I really need you, little brother." Emmett was almost in tears when he said that. It was such a strange sight but a completely justified one. 

"So what are we going to do with Oren?" I asked. 

"He is coming with us and you are going in there," Emmett said in a firm voice. 

"I need to feed Oren before you three take off," I said, as I slid into the back of the car next to Oren's car seat. Edward stuck his head in the car to look at my face. He knew it would be the first time I'd been away from Oren for more than two hours and quite frankly it scared me. 

"Are you okay with this, Bella?" Edward asked. I diverted my eyes away from him, hoping they wouldn't show my anxiety. 

"I'm fine, Edward. You need to distract your brother for awhile and I need to help Rose. I understand why we have to do this," I said with fake confidence. I didn't know if I could get through the next few hours, but I had to try for Rosalie's sake. 

"We don't have to do anything, Bella. They can survive without us." 

"I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try to at least help," I sighed. I started to feed Oren and was relived when he started eating. The way I had explained it to Edward was that my chest was like a full bladder when Oren hadn't eaten in awhile. Edward smiled seeing me feed Oren while Emmett decided to cover his eyes while talking to us. 

"Bella, you need to get in there," Emmett groaned. 

"Fine." I pulled away from Oren, who immediately started crying. "Have fun, boys," I said sarcastically, as I grabbed my beloved breast pump. I kissed Oren's forehead and hoped that we could deal with being apart for a few hours, hopefully not overnight. "The milk is in the cooler, Edward," I yelled at them from the doorway. 

"Wait a minute, Bella," Edward smiled as he ran toward me. "You forgot something," he whispered before kissing me. The way his lips moved should be illegal; there was no way that something _that_ good, could be legal. 

"I love you," I whispered against his lips.

"I love you, too, my sweet, sexy, lovely, amazing Bella," Edward whispered back. I turned and walked into the house, already missing Oren and Edward. Rosalie was on the couch lying down with a box of Kleenex. She was a mess but I couldn't blame her. I couldn't even imagine how she felt right now. 

"How are you, Rosalie?" I whispered, walking toward her. She merely grunted—wait, Rosalie _grunted_? That was odd.

"Never mind. I have a pretty good idea of how you are," I said, sitting down next to her.

"You don't know a damn thing," Rose hissed at me. "You have your baby."

"A baby I very nearly lost."

"Nearly being the key word," she spat.

"Look, I know you're hurt and angry. And if you really don't want me here, I can leave. But I have to tell you, you're only going to make it worse if you push Emmett and everyone else away."

"I'm not trying to push him away, but he doesn't understand," she said, her voice cracking at the end.

"He can't unless you find a way to explain it to him. Guys don't know what it's like to have a life growing inside of you. And they especially don't get what it is to lose it. For them, it doesn't become real until the baby is out and they're holding it. For women, for you and me, it's real from the first moment that pregnancy stick shows us a smiley face."

"Ah, but I was never pregnant. It was only abnormal cells," she said sarcastically.

"That's bullshit, Rosalie, and you know it. You had every single symptom that comes with being pregnant. Just because it didn't grow like it should have, doesn't negate that fact."

"How do you know it didn't grow just like it was supposed to?" Rose whispered, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Because if it had, you would still be pregnant right now. You and I may not always get along, but that doesn't mean that I don't recognize a great potential mother when I see one. It's this extra sense that you get when you reach your fifth month. Want to know what type of mother Alice will be?"

"I do, I do!" Alice chirped, as she bustled into the room with two big bags.

"How long are you planning on staying?" I chuckled, pointing at her bags.

"As long as it takes to get Rosalie back on her feet," Alice replied with a serious look on her face. "So tell us what kind of mother I will be."

"You, Alice, will be the perfect mother to a little girl. You will put her in dresses and never let her leave the house without her hair styled. Even her play-clothing will be designer. And when she gets to an age when she starts to take notice of boys, you will be her confident and personal stylist, teaching her all the best tricks to use when flirting with the boys. You will also impart your shopping addiction to her, whether she wants it or not."

"That sounds just like your crazy ass, Alice," Rosalie snorted.

"Do Rose now!" Alice demanded.

"Okay. Rose will be a great mother to a boy or a girl. With a girl, she'll teach her how to handle herself and how to never take crap from any man, including her giant of a father. You will teach her to enjoy the finer things in life and to _never_ think she's not worthy of someone or something. With a boy, you'll teach him how to spot a whore from a mile away. You will also set one amazingly high standard for any girl looking to have a future with him," I told them.

"So which month of pregnancy turns you into the Dali Lama, because I think I want to avoid that one," Rose joked, sniffling as she sat up. "Do you know what the worst part of all this is?"

"Let's see…The looks of pity from the doctors and nurses? The one from Emmett? The way he's not sure if he should touch you or not?" I guessed, remembering clearly how it had been when I had nearly lost Oren.

"Esme lost a baby once," Alice said softly. "She told me about it when she gave me the sex talk in high school. She said she wanted me to understand a consequence of sex could be a baby, and that as hard as it would be to raise a healthy baby, it would be even harder to lose one. She said you never get over the loss, but you do get to a point where you can move forward." Alice paused for a second before returning to her normal chipper self. "If she hadn't learned to move forward, you two wouldn't have me as your most favorite friend."

"And don't let anyone push you to move forward, especially Emmett. When you're ready, you'll know it," I cautioned Rosalie. "It might take days or a few weeks. Just don't let this loss eat you up and make you bitter. You are going to be a great mom, Rosalie. Don't give up on that."

"I appreciate what you're saying, even you, Bella," Rosalie stated, lifting her head high, "but I really don't want to talk about this anymore."

"So, what _do_ you want to talk about?" Alice asked.

"Did you see the face Elizabeth made when Edward and Emmett announced their news?" Rose chuckled. "I thought she was going to pop a blood vessel in her head, right then and there."

"The boys take a perverse amount of pleasure from pushing her buttons," I commented. "Edward practically lives to shock her." 

**Author's Note;**

**Seriously, thank My-Bella. I had half of this done and got stuck. She is an amazing friend and helped me so you could all read this. The other reason this is late is because there was more hospital trips in my family. Both of my nephews went to the emergency room. One was admitted and had to stay two nights. I was out of town and things got crazy. Please let this one slide I have already written part of the next chapter. The entire cookie league pitched in on this one. E. C. Cullen beta-ed, My-Bella rocked wording, and Angelic Messenger17 helped me with ideas! **

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants**

**P.S. honestly this almost got cut!**


	5. Super Baby!

**Disclaimer: Ha, ha, Bella I own Oren! To bad I don't own Edward too!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Five, Super Baby _

_BPOV_

Things have been interesting with the family lately, but it was finally starting to resemble a normal one more and more everyday. Emmett and Rosalie were desperately trying to get pregnant and Alice and Jasper were enjoying spending their time together at school. Edward, Oren, and I were having a good time being a little family. That didn't mean we weren't having problems, though. Edward's new job was helpful and annoying at the same time. I wanted him to be home with Oren and me more, but it wasn't really an option. My internet classes were frustrating because I was used to actually being in class. 

I looked back down to see my wonderful, cooing, two and a half month old son. Edward and I had decided to just use the superman outfit Emmett had gotten Oren for the baby shower, as his Halloween costume. He was the superhero that had made me love Edward even more. 

"Maybe we should have picked something else for him to wear," Edward smiled from the doorway making me jump and Oren smile. "His outfit doesn't match ours at all."

"Shush it, Mr. Darcy. I like our super baby," I giggled. Edward had made a joke a few weeks ago about my obsession with _Pride and Prejudice_, and this was his punishment…and mine. He knew how _Pride and Prejudice_ affected me and he had been using it to his advantage all morning. 

"I think you should have thought about our costume choice more carefully. It's going to be odd calling you my mother's name," Edward laughed. I rolled my eyes and returned to getting Oren ready. When he was ready, I handed him to Edward and started getting the diaper bag packed. We had a two hour drive ahead of us and I was really excited to be able to finally meet Jacob's new girlfriend. 

Soon enough we were in front of Billy's house. The outside of the house, as well as the yard, were covered in Halloween decorations. I could only imagine how much work Billy had forced Jacob to do to get this set up. 

"They don't skimp on the decorations do they?" Edward smirked. 

"Definitely not," I laughed. Jacob must have seen us from the window because he burst out of the front door, running toward the car. "Edward, don't flip at the overly excited Jacob."

"Whatever you say…Mrs. Darcy."

"Okay, let's change clothes. I don't know if I can make it through the whole day if you keep that up." I was startled by a knock on my window. I quickly got out of the car and Jacob pulled me into a hug. 

"BELLA!" Jacob yelled into my ear.

"Down, boy," I laughed. Jacob let me go and I wiped the wrinkles out of my costume. 

"Is this your baby's daddy, Bella?" Jacob asked, running over to Edward. 

"Yes, it is. Now behave or I will have to put you in a kennel," I threatened. 

"Hello, I'm Edward," he said, putting his hand out for Jacob to shake. 

"Nice to meet ya'," Jacob smiled, before grabbing Edward into a hug. 

"Would you like to meet Oren, Jacob?" I asked, trying to get him to release his choke hold on a very uncomfortable looking Edward. 

"Of course I would, but first," Jacob said, turning toward the red-haired girl walking toward us. I opened the back door of the Volvo and started to un-buckle Oren before she reached us so that we could introduce everyone at the same time. I heard Edward laughing, so I took Oren from his car seat and got out of the backseat to see what was so funny. 

"There she is," the red-haired girl laughed. My jaw dropped when I realized it was the waitress from Denny's. 

"Apparently, Bella, you have already met my girlfriend," Jacob beamed. 

"How did you two meet? The Denny's is two hours from here," I asked in shock.

"She comes up here on the weekends to spend time with her brothers and sisters," Jacob smiled with pride in his eyes. "How many are there now, Danielle?" 

"Between my dad's kids and my mom's kids I would say there are…too many," Danielle laughed. "But I love them all, even when they misbehave."

"Okay, Jacob, I would like to introduce you to my beloved son, Oren," I beamed, as I turned so Jacob could see Oren's cute little face. 

"He's adorable, Bella," Jacob said in awe. 

"I honestly can say, I never expected to see the little guy but I am glad I have," Danielle smiled. Edward came to stand beside me and wrapped his arm around my waist. After a few moments of silence, Jacob grabbed Danielle into a hug. 

"Charlie is waiting for you inside, Bella. He has been talking about that kid all morning. I think my dad is almost as excited as yours!" Jacob snorted, before heading toward the house. Edward tightened his grip on my waist as we walked inside the house to introduce the bundle of joy that was in my arms, to my father's friends. 

"There's my grandbaby!" Charlie beamed, as he walked over to us and held out his arms to hint he wanted to hold Oren. I handed Oren over to my father, who could not take his eyes off of Oren. Charlie walked to go show Oren off to Billy and the rest of his fishing buddies. 

"And then there were two," Edward muttered in my ear. 

"Nope, there's four of us here," Jacob laughed, as he walked over to us, holding Danielle's hand. 

"So, Jacob, how's the rabbit?" I asked.

"Dead!" Jacob smiled. "I killed it!"

"You killed a rabbit?" Edward asked with a confused expression on his face. Jacob, Danielle, and I started laughing hysterically.

"A Volkswagen Rabbit!" Jacob said between laughs.

"It was his first car, Edward," I smiled, grazing my hand down the side of his face.

"Oh, okay…I'm going to go find my baby," Edward said, as he walked away. 

"Jacob, you scared her boyfriend," Danielle joked, as she playfully slapped his arm. 

"Actually," I sighed, as I put my hand where they could see it, "fiancé. It was his idea, not mine. But I'm happy that he asked."

"Of course it was his idea," Jacob smirked. "I know you well enough to know about your commitment phobia!"

"I said yes, didn't I?" I countered.

"How many times did he ask you, Bella?" Jacob smirked. 

"Leave her alone, Jacob," Danielle warned. With each passing second I liked Danielle more and more. 

"Thank you, Danielle," I smiled.

"So what are you up to tonight, Bells?" Jacob asked, with a goofy grin on his face. 

"Some of Edward's family is coming over and we are going to watch horror movies." I couldn't wait to see who would scream first. 

"It sounds like you're going to have a lot of fun!" Danielle smiled, as she rested her head on Jacob's shoulder. 

"Bella," my favorite voice said from behind me, causing me to jump and grab my chest. "Careful Bella."

"What?" I said, as I spun around to see Oren being held close to where I was standing. "You didn't have to sneak up on me, Edward!" Edward just laughed and handed Oren over to me.

"He's hungry, love. I thought you might be a little uncomfortable after the drive," Edward chuckled. Oren turned his head so his face was tucked against my breast. 

"I would say that he is definitely hungry," I smiled, turning to Jacob. "Can I use your room, Jacob? Otherwise the whole party is going to get an eyeful."

"Fine, but don't leak on any of my stuff!" Jacob jokingly warned.

"Yeah, yeah," I said in a dismissive tone. "I'll make sure to leave you a nice puddle." 

I walked down the hall and into Jacob's room. It hadn't really changed over the years. I could start to see Danielle's influence on Jacob by the little things. The closet doors were actually shut, and in place of the normal pile of clothing in the corner of the room, there was a hamper. Jacob's desk was still covered in useless things, but now there was a bottle of perfume that must be Danielle's on it. 

Oren started to fuss in my arms, so I sat down on the edge of the bed and started to feed him. There is nothing like being a mother. It is truly one of the best things in life. I really hoped that Rosalie and Emmett would have their own little bundle of joy. 

"Bella," Jacob's whisper came through the door. 

"What, Jacob?" I asked, hoping my voice would travel through the door. 

"Could you cover up? I wanted to ask you something." Jacob actually sounded worried about something. I covered Oren up with the little cape that was attached to his costume. 

"You can come in now," I said.

"What do you think of Danielle?" Jacob asked. 

"I really like her, Jacob. I think you two are really good together," I smiled. 

"Good enough that I could marry her someday?" Jacob asked weakly from the other side of the room. 

"I really do," I encouraged. 

"I bought her a promise ring."

"That's great, Jacob!" I said, loudly enough to make Oren stir, which made the cape start to slip. I was able to grab it before it exposed any of my chest to Jacob, though. 

"Oren, I don't want to see that part of your mommy," Jacob joked. "I guess I will let you finish," Jacob nodded to me, as he walked out of the room and I nodded back. 

When Oren was done eating, I fixed my dress and walked back into the main part of the house while burping him. When I reached the living room, I saw Edward sitting on the couch between Charlie and Harry Clearwater, looking very uncomfortable. I walked over to Edward and he had a pleading look on his face. 

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked them. 

"We were telling my future son in-law about all the fishing trips we are going to have to take him on," Charlie beamed. None of his friends had a grandson or a married child, and he was ecstatic to be the first. I had to keep reminding him that I wasn't married yet.

"There is this great little fishing spot we know of—" Harry said before I cut him off. 

"Edward, do you think you could go get my water bottle out of the car please?" I asked. Edward had a look of relief on his face as he started to stand up. Both Charlie and Harry grabbed a leg and pulled him back onto the couch. 

"Billy put bottles of water in the fridge, Bella," Charlie said. I laughed at the horrified expression on Edward's face. 

"We still have to tell this young man a few things," Harry laughed, while he grabbed Edward's shoulder. "You run along and get your water." I turned toward the kitchen laughing and shaking my head. I could only imagine what they were going to talk to Edward about. 

"Let's start a game!" Billy yelled from the doorway. I followed Billy's wheelchair, bouncing Oren along the way. Edward soon walked along side of me, slinking his hand across my waist. We walked around the house to the backyard where Jacob and Danielle were standing next to a washtub filled with water and apples. 

"No way in hell am I doing that, Edward," I scowled. Edward just rolled his eyes and guided me over to the others. 

"Alright, kids," Billy smiled. "I want all of the little ones to go first!" Over ten children ran to Billy's wheelchair. "Alright, since Danielle's siblings are new to our parties, they get to bob for apples first!" 

Around a half dozen kids ran over to the basin and Danielle smiled at them. "Jonathon, why don't you go first," she smiled, ruffling the blond hair on the little boy's head. Oren cooed while I watched Jonathon start to bob for apples in his transformers' costume. 

"I can't wait until Oren gets to do things like this," I smiled. 

"I am just looking forward to what he will be doing tomorrow," Edward sighed, as he put his finger in Oren's hand. Oren squirmed in my arms, telling me he wanted his daddy. I handed Oren over to Edward and rested my head on his shoulder. I could feel Edward's arms moving as he played with Oren, but I was content with where I was while I watched the other kids play games. 

"So, Bella," Jacob smiled. I hadn't realized he had walked over to us but luckily I wasn't startled by it. 

"Yeah, Jacob?" I asked. 

"It's your turn!" Danielle laughed. 

"No," I said flatly. 

"Oh, come on, Bella!" Jacob whined. 

"Not if your life depended on it!" I told him firmly.

"But Bella," Jacob continued to whine.

"She said no Jacob," Edward said sounding amused. 

"How about I make it up to you, Jacob?" I asked. Jacob's eyes brightened and he held onto Danielle tighter. 

"Why don't you two come watch movies with us tonight?" I asked.

"Please, Danielle," Jacob begged. 

"We'd love to, Bella," Danielle smiled. 

I had a feeling this would be a great night! 

**Author's Note;**

**It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Super Baby! **

**I was in a lot of pain when I wrote the first A/N and I sounded like a btch. So I'm sorry, and I hope you understand. **

**The lovely E. C. Cullen took care of my baby chapter this time. She burped out some issues and changed a few stinky wording issues. Thank you to the entire cookie league! You know I love you!**

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants**

**P.S. The Cookie League posted a new story under My-Bella's account!**


	6. Screamer

**Disclaimer: I totally own you Danielle! giggle! Stephenie Meyer owns almost all of my dolls. **

**Sorry for the bitchy A/N on the last chapter I was in a lot of pain when I wrote it. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Six, Screamer_

_BPOV_

"What the hell is that?!" I screamed from the doorway of our apartment. Oren started to cry and Edward walked into the apartment carrying Oren in one arm and pulling me next to him with the other.

"It's a new flat screen TV!" Emmett said proudly. "And I set it up all by myself!"

"You did not," Jasper defended.

"He's got you there, honey," Rosalie smiled, as she walked over to us. "Can I hold him?" Edward handed Oren to Rosalie, who started to rock him to get him to calm down.

"Thank you, guys. I never would have gotten that thing set-up in time," Edward smiled.

"_You_ bought that thing?" I asked.

"It's on the wall so when Oren gets bigger he won't be able to touch it. It was for _us_," Edward smiled, almost as much as he did whenever he saw his car.

"You're so lucky I love you," I joked, as I poked his chest.

"I truly am," Edward sighed. He moved his head down to mine and started to kiss me. Things got a little out of hand and Emmett started making cat calls, but that didn't stop us.

Edward kept his lips almost touching mine as he spoke to them. "Can you four put Oren to bed? I need some alone time with Mrs. Darcy."

"Who's Mrs. Darcy?" Emmett asked dumbfounded.

"Shut up, Emmett," I heard Rosalie say. "Alice smack him for me." There was a smacking noise and a giggling Alice. Edward's lips were still close to mine as we stared into each other's eyes. "Go have fun. We can take care of things," Rosalie laughed.

Right on queue, Edward swept me up into his arms and carried me to the bedroom. We fell onto the bed and started kissing all over again. "Edward," I sighed, causing him to groan.

"What is it, love?"

"There are people out there, let alone Jacob and Danielle will be here soon."

"Bella, we have people to watch Oren and we won't be interrupted so can we please not think about them?" Edward asked.

"Okay," I smiled. Edward continued where he left off and I brought my leg up to his hip. We hadn't been able to 'finish' since Oren was born. The thought of finally having uninterrupted sex was beyond wonderful.

I started to pull on Edward's shirt, but was too fixated on the kiss to realize we were still in our costumes and his shirt was unbearably difficult to get off. Edward and I both started working on the vest and shirt buttons but the stupid thing wouldn't budge.

"Go get the scissors, Edward," I instructed. Edward ran to our bathroom and came back with a pair of scissors in hand. "You might want to take care of those while you're at it," I smiled, motioning to his pants.

"My, my, the future Mrs. Masen is trying to get me naked. I feel so exposed," Edward smirked. I took one of the pillows and threw it at him.

"You want this as bad as I do!" After I said that, I could hear laughter coming from the living room.

"Turn up the TV and stop listening!" Edward half-yelled through the door.

He gave me my sexy grin and handed me the scissors. I sat up on the bed and started to cut through the fabric. Edward worked on his pants and after five minutes of agonizing clothes, we were finally down to only our underwear.

"Costumes are evil," Edward said seriously.

Once we had finished I realized we had been louder than we had ever been because of the lack of intimacy ever since Oren was born. I cuddled up next to Edward, placing my head on his bare shoulder.

"Edward?" I asked softly.

"Yeah?" he smiled, while he started to run his fingers through my hair.

"I'm actually excited."

"I would hope so after the noises you made," he laughed. His chest was moving under my head and I moved so that my chin was on his chest, and I could see his face.

"You _know_ I was excited about that. But I was talking about being your wife." Edward's face lit up and he kissed my forehead.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me."

All of the sudden, two blood-curdling screams came through our door, followed by Oren's cry. Edward and I got out of bed and grabbed our robes. Edward went into Oren's room and I went into the living room to have a _chat_ with whomever just woke up my baby.

"What is going on out here?" I asked, before I almost fell over with laughter. Alice was curled up in Jasper's lap with her head buried in his chest, but that wasn't why I was laughing. Emmett was trembling and he had his head resting on Rosalie's chest while she ran her hands down his face, trying to calm him down.

"Rose, don't ever let me watch that again," Emmett mumbled against Rosalie. Rosalie rolled her eyes in my direction and continued to soothe Emmett.

Jacob was standing next to Danielle, who was at our desk looking at the computer.

"What are you two doing?" I asked, walking over to them.

"Danielle edits writing online, so she was just doing a chapter for a friend quickly," Jacob beamed.

Edward walked into the room without Oren, so I assumed he had already fallen back asleep. "Can we go back to bed now, love?" Edward asked me.

"You two haven't watched a single movie with us," Emmett whined.

"Emmett, you couldn't handle the last movie, so why would you want to watch another one like that?" I asked.

"We could always watch _Empire Records_," Emmett offered.

"Give them some _alone_ time, Emmett. Maybe they will return the favor once we have our own little baby," Rosalie smiled.

"Oh, just go make some more disgusting noises, you two!" Alice said, waving us toward the hallway.

"Yes, ma'am," Edward smiled and saluted. I walked over to him and took his hand as we walked back into our room and made love numerous times. I had missed being able to take our time and not rush because of Oren. Afterward we were utterly exhausted and drifted to sleep.

I woke up when I heard Oren fussing from his room. My chest ached from not feeding him all night. Edward was still peacefully asleep when I snuck into Oren's room. I picked up my wonderful little boy and fed him, afterward playing for at least a half an hour.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Edward asked sleepily from the doorway.

"I figured you would be absolutely exhausted," I smirked.

"Of course I was, but that doesn't mean that you should always have to take care of him. I know you think that since you stay home, you should get up with him, but I want you to have a night off sometimes, too." Edward looked straight into my eyes, knowing exactly what I needed before I did. "I'm taking care of him tonight and tomorrow morning and _you_ are sleeping in."

"Edward—" I sighed, before he cut me off.

"Non-negotiable. You get the night off."

"I had last night off. I'm fine," I said seriously "You should be able to sleep when you aren't working."

"I _want_ to do this, Bella," Edward said as he walked over to me. "Please."

"Okay, I think I might be able to give in to that. But my guess is that by his four in the morning feeding, you will be pulling me out of bed," I smiled.

"Why don't we go see if there's anything left of our living room after their party," Edward said, reaching his hand for mine. I shifted Oren in my arms so that one of my hands was free to hold Edward's.

Emmett was sprawled out on the floor, holding a beer bottle in his hand and somehow cuddling with Rose at the same time. Jasper was sleeping sitting up with Alice curled up in his lap. Surprisingly, Jacob and Danielle stayed, too. Someone had found the air mattress that was in the closet, for them to sleep on.

"I think we should start breakfast," I smiled. I put Oren in his bouncy seat and Edward and I started breakfast. I started cutting apples to make pancakes with and Edward took care of the bacon. Once I had finished the first batch of my famous apple pancakes, I heard Emmett stumble, half awake, into the kitchen.

"I smell food," Emmett yawned.

"Oh, were you hungry, Emmett? I'm sorry, I thought you would be too sleepy to eat," Edward feigned regret.

"Get a plate, Emmett," I instructed.

"At least someone loves me," Emmett said, as he grabbed a plate.

The next person to wake up was Rosalie and shortly after that, Jacob and Danielle entered the kitchen. We all dished up and sat at the dining room table. Edward moved Oren and his bouncy seat, as well as a few toys, by the table.

"So when do you guys think we should wake up Jasper and Alice?" Rosalie asked.

"Right after I finish all the food," Emmett smiled, eyeing the bacon.

"Is that a challenge?" Jacob asked with a devious smile.

"This could be a close one," I whispered to Edward.

"You really think Jacob could take Emmett in an eating contest?" Edward whispered.

"I think it would be a fair fight, but if I had to put my money on someone I would say Jacob."

"You're on, except I don't want your money, I want you to let Emmett and Rose baby-sit in a few weeks so we can go on a date," Edward smiled, as he kissed my ear.

"You can have that one already, Mr. Masen," I said, too loudly, because all eyes turned to us. Edward's lips were still pressed against my lips and I suddenly realized how this could be taken in a very bad way. "It's not what it sounds like," I defended.

"Hey," Emmett said, putting his hands up in defeat. "I heard enough from you two last night." I could feel myself turn bright red and Edward moved so he was facing Emmett.

"Not funny, Emmett," Edward scolded, pointing his finger at Emmett. "I have had to hear Rose and you more times than I care to think about. Let alone the fact that I have had to bail you out of your two little hotel _incidents_. I now know exactly what to say for each type of hotel."

"Remember Arizona Rosie?" Emmett asked Rosalie in a seductive voice.

"How could I forget," Rosalie said, as she fanned herself.

"I don't like where this conversation is headed," Jacob said. "I really don't need to hear about all of your sex lives. I just met half of the people sitting at this table yesterday."

"That sounds like a repressed man," Emmett joked.

"Actually," Danielle said, quietly looking down at the table. "We haven't yet."

"That's good!" I smiled. "You don't need a baby yet. We're a living advertisement for not having drunk sex. We got lucky and actually loved each other. Some people don't have that much luck. I am just happy Emmett puked on me."

"You're welcome," Emmett smiled brightly. "One day, I am going to sell my puke to couples who can't get pregnant." _Wrong words, Emmett_. Rosalie stood up and walked out of the room silently. Jacob and Danielle looked at us dumbfounded and Emmett had put his head in his hands.

"I'm going to go talk to Rose," I said, walking out of the room to find Rosalie. She had gone into the nursery and was sitting in the rocking chair, staring at the crib. "You know he didn't mean to say that to hurt you."

"I know, but that doesn't mean it didn't. I want my own baby so bad, it's not fair," Rosalie said, close to tears.

"It wasn't fair, you're right. You shouldn't have had to go through that," I said, moving so I could sit on the foot stool in front of the rocking chair. "You could be pregnant right now and not even know it, you just have to give it time."

"When did you get so smart?" Rosalie asked with a little laugh, as she wiped a tear off of her cheek.

"Well…it comes with being a mom. Have you noticed how smart you are lately?" I asked jokingly.

"Tell me again why we used to fight," Rosalie smirked.

"Because you were a wild sorority girl," I joked. "Being married has really tamed you."

"I suppose you're right," Rosalie laughed freely. "Let's go mess with Jasper and Alice!"

Rosalie and I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a few _supplies_ before we went over to Alice and Jasper. I took my magic marker and went over to Jasper, as Rose started on Alice. I wrote Alice all over his face and Alice's face was covered in Jasper's name. Then we took string and tied them together. Edward and the rest of them had moved into the room to watch us work.

"Jazzy," Alice moaned in her sleep. We all burst into laughter and Alice would have sat straight up but got caught by the string. "Emmett, you are in so much trouble!" Alice screamed, making Oren make a giggling type noise.

"Don't look at me, Alice," Emmett said with his hands in the air.

"What's going on, Alice?" Jasper yawned, as he tried to move. "What the hell, Emmett?"

"Why does everyone think I'm always the one to do a prank?" Emmett asked.

"Because you usually _are_ the one to do the prank," Rosalie smiled.

"Alice, I swear I didn't do that," Jasper said, wide-eyed as he stared at Alice.

"Oh, Jasper, it wasn't me either," Alice said, looking into Jasper's eyes.

"It wasn't either of you," Emmett smiled. "It was them," he said, pointing to Rosalie and me.

"Will someone untie us?" Alice screeched.

"Don't you want to be tied up to your man?" Jacob asked.

"I knew you guys would be funny the second you walked into the diner!" Danielle laughed.

"Just untie us!" Jasper yelled. The noise finally started getting to Oren and Edward walked out of the room, shaking his head. Emmett disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a large knife in his hand.

"Do you remember those horror movies from last night?" Emmett asked with an evil smirk.

"Rosalie, detain your husband," Alice instructed. "Bella, get the scissors!"

**Author's note;**

**Sorry it took so long. Easter was crazy and my grandmother tried to steal me. Anyway, I hope you all liked it! And whoever the reviewer named Princess is I hope this answered your question since you didn't leave an e-mail address. **

**Thanks to my amazing friends, Angelic Messenger17, My-Bella, E. C. Cullen, and last but certainly not least Lizbre!**

**Thank you for editing this E. C.!**

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants **


	7. Baby Monitors

**Disclaimer: I own my laptop! (I use it to write!)**

**So, this is the original beginning. This is where I wanted to start the story. So in my mind; WELCOME TO ONE YEAR IN HEAVEN'S HELL!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Seven, Baby Monitors_

_Elizabeth's POV _

"Elizabeth, what are you doing?" Esme asked me. All of my children and the rest of the family were staying at our house for Thanksgiving. I was extremely happy to have my grandson staying at his grandma's.

"Nothing," I said, hiding it behind my back.

"What is in your hand, sister?" Esme asked with her serious voice.

"It's a grandmother thing, you wouldn't understand," I smiled, knowing my sister was no where near being a grandparent. I won this competition with her.

"Is that a baby monitor?"

"Possibly," I feigned innocence. She saw through my lie and placed her hands on her hips much like my niece Alice does. Like mother like daughter. "I want to help if they need me, okay?!"

"You are the nosiest person I know," Esme said, rolling her eyes. "So what is happening?"

"I don't know. You wouldn't stop talking."

"_Edward,"_ Bella moaned through the device.

"Maybe you should put that down, sister," Esme choked out.

"What are you two up to?" Gwendolyn asked, as she walked into the room.

"Shush," Esme and I said in unison.

"_Bella, you have no idea what that feels like,"_ Edward's voice came through the speaker.

"Why are you listening to your son having sex?" Gwen asked.

"They can't be doing that. Oren is in the room," I said, waving my hand at her.

"_Thank God for Emmett and Rosalie. They are the best baby-sitters ever. I love our alone time,"_ Bella's voice said with a smile.

"_I am so happy you agreed to—woah! Bella, I didn't realize you were in such a hurry,"_ my innocent son's voice said through the infernal box.

"Shut that thing off!" Esme panicked.

"Hurry up, Elizabeth!" Gwen said, as she grabbed the receiver.

"_Bella!"_ Edward's voice sounded like he was shocked. _"You squirted me!"_

"_I can't exactly help it, Edward!"_ Bella defended through this awful contraption.

"I don't know how to turn it off!" I screamed. "I had the butler set the thing up!"

"Someone go get him!" Esme yelled.

"_There. Now we can continue without worrying about losing an eye to flying milk,"_ Edward's voice sighed through the evil machine.

"Where is the butler?" Gwen yelled.

"_Edward. Don't. Ever. Stop,"_ Bella panted.

"Get rid of that thing!" Esme screeched.

"As un-lady like as this seems…" I said.

As I threw the box out the window I heard Bella yell. _"Edward, your mother is a dead woman."_ Bella must have found the monitor!

_BPOV_

"Edward, your mother is a dead woman," I screamed when I saw a monitor hidden in the corner of Edward's room.

"Why do you feel the need to threaten my mother? I thought I was distracting you enough that you wouldn't care where we were," Edward sighed, as he rolled off of me.

"Edward," I spat, as I pointed to the monitor. "Your mother put a monitor in the room!"

I stomped down the hallway after I threw Edward's bathrobe on. There was no way Elizabeth was getting away with this.

I heard Edward running behind me, and when I looked back I saw he was only in his boxers. That's when I tripped over my own feet and fell face first into the floor.

"Bella!" Edward yelled from behind me. I started rubbing my face where I had hit it and realized it was my nose. Edward scooped me up into his arms and carried me back to his room, bloody nose and all. Once my nose was thoroughly stuffed with Kleenex, Edward sat at the end of his bed and looked into my eyes.

"Exactly how stupid do I look?" I asked with a muffled voice.

"Not at all, dear. But I should have dad come in here to make sure your eye is okay."

"What the hell happened to my eye?!" I asked, screaming.

"It hit your hand when you fell…It looks like you might get a black eye," Edward whispered, looking at my eye.

"I'm blaming your mom for this, too!"

"Bella, you can't blame my mother for you falling," Edward sighed.

"Okay, but this means I get to have a talk with your mother about the monitor," I said firmly, as I crossed my arms across my chest. "You're not getting any tonight. Your mother ruined it for you. Now, I want our baby, could you please go and get him?"

"Yes, love," Edward sighed. "Now I'm going to have a talk with my mother, too," he muttered under his breath.

I laid back on the bed, trying to think of what to say to that snooping Elizabeth. When the door opened, Edward walked in with a sleeping Oren in his arms. I stuck my arms out to them, motioning for them to come and sit with me on the bed. That's when I noticed Edward Sr. right behind them.

"Dad is going to take a look at your eye real quick, Bella," Edward said, as he sat on the edge of the bed, still holding our beautiful, bouncing, baby boy.

"I promise it will only take a minute," Edward Sr. smiled.

"When you're done, can you take that thing back to your wife?" I smirked, pointing to the monitor.

"Why that sneaky little minx," Edward Sr. smiled. Gross. I did not want to hear those words.

"How's the eye, dad?" I asked. Edward Sr.'s face turned to utter shock. "I'm sorry, I thought that since—"

"Thank you," Edward Sr. smiled. "Rosalie won't call me that, so it's good to hear it from at least one of my daughters."

"How's her eye?" Edward asked, as he put Oren in the bassinette Elizabeth had sent to the room.

"She will have a little black eye but nothing bad," Edward Sr. said in his doctor voice. "I'll get out of your way. Have a nice night."

"Don't forget that monitor," I reminded him. Edward Sr. grabbed the monitor and left the room quietly, shutting the door behind him.

Edward and I fell asleep shortly after he had left. I may have been frustrated with Edward, but I could never be truly angry with him. Oren started to laugh his little baby laugh from the bassinette, so I figured it was time to get out of bed: that and the fact that Oren hadn't eaten in awhile, making my boobs feel like they were going to pop. _I wonder if this is how girls with breast implants feel._

I snuck out of bed and picked Oren up out of his bed. I went over to the couch and started feeding Oren. We were halfway through his feeding when there was a knock on the door. Edward just rolled over and put a pillow over his head.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"It's Gwen and Esme," Elizabeth's voice said through the door, before I heard an 'oomph' noise.

"Elizabeth's out here, too!" Esme yelled.

"Come in! I'll cover up," I sighed, as the three ladies entered the room and pretty much cooed. Not at the sight of Oren, mind you, but at Edward, who was sleeping with his head under a pillow and his legs and arms sprawled across the bed.

Esme gave Elizabeth a little push toward me. "I'm sorry about the whole monitor thing," Elizabeth said sincerely.

"Mom?" Edward mumbled through his pillow. "What the hell are you doing in here? You aren't trying to put more spy devices in are you?" Edward's face was still covered by his pillow, and he started patting the area of the bed I had been in.

"Over here, hun," I called to him.

"Get back in this bed," he mumbled, moving his hand so it was pointing downward toward the bed.

"Esme, Gwen, and your mother are in the room, Edward," I chuckled. He was so cute in the morning.

Edward shot straight up in bed, his hair going in every direction, and his face, outlining pillow marks on his perfect cheeks. "Hello," Edward squeaked, as he tried to cover himself with the bed sheets. Edward wasn't naked, but he was only had on his boxers. "How long have you three been in here?"

"Well, you were just talking to them, Edward," I smirked.

"If my head is still under the pillow then what I say doesn't count," Edward yawned. "So what do you three need?"

"Elizabeth was just apologizing," Esme smiled, as she pushed Elizabeth toward Edward.

"I'm sorry I put the baby monitor in here. In my defense, I was just trying to help with the baby," Elizabeth said, looking down at her hands.

"Would you like to help now, Elizabeth?" I asked. Elizabeth's face looked like it was glowing.

"Could I?" she asked, as if I would say no.

"Okay, I need to get dressed first, so could you ladies—" Edward said, before I cut him off.

"You can change in the bathroom. I'm not moving Oren until he finishes eating." Edward's face turned into a pout. Some days I felt like I had two little boys instead of one. "Edward, it's just your mom, aunt, and godmother. Get over it. They have all seen you before."

"Oh, he had the cutest little butt," Gwen smiled. I raised my eyebrows at Edward.

"Edward, could you turn around so they can find out if your cute butt is still there. I think it is but I might be slightly bias," I laughed. Edward scowled at me, but I just shrugged it off. Oren finished eating and Edward was still clutching onto the sheet, trying to stay covered.

"Here, Elizabeth. Why don't you three take him for awhile so Edward and I can get dressed?" I asked, as I handed Oren over to a beaming Elizabeth. The three ladies walked out of the room, cooing over Oren.

"Finally," Edward sighed, as he jumped out from under the sheets and walked over to me. "I have wanted to do this all morning." Edward leaned his face close to mine and gave me a sweet kiss. I wrapped my arms around him and held him as close as I could.

"You should take your shower so you can take Oren back from the baby snatchers," I sighed, not wanting to let him go. I reluctantly removed my arms from Edward and he gave me a kiss on the cheek before going into the bathroom. I followed behind so I could start getting ready for Thanksgiving with Edward's family. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a dark ring around one of my eyes. I hoped that I could cover it up with makeup.

Edward turned on the shower and walked back over to me while it was warming up. "It's not the worst black eye I have ever seen, but I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from it," Edward sighed.

"Edward, I was the one who ran, and I was the one who didn't pay attention. It's my own fault and you can't stop every little thing from harming me," I reassured him. "It's not like you could jump in front of a bee that was about to sting me," I joked, trying to lighten his mood.

"As usual, you are right. I would still like to protect you as much as I can, though," he sighed, taking off his boxers, leaving him in my favorite outfit of his…Nothing! He stepped into the shower and I started to brush my teeth. Edward was ready a few minutes after he stepped out of the shower. I, however, had strict orders to report to Alice after mine.

Once I was out of the shower, I headed to the guest room that Alice and Jasper were staying in. Alice had the entire bathroom covered in beauty supplies. I was afraid to even start this edition of Bella Barbie.

**Author's Note;**

**Sigh, I finally started at the point I wanted to. It has been so much easier to write when I am doing what I wanted to happen. I shouldn't have listened to people when they wanted me to start sooner because I love this beginning. I hope you all do too! **

**Cookie League love!**

**I love the pre-readers for this; Lizbre, My-Bella, and the one who also did editing E. C. Cullen!**

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants **

**P.S. I love reviews! **


	8. Sprinkler

**Disclaimer: Stephenie may own them, but I am playing with them!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Eight, Sprinkler_

_BPOV_

We were all sitting at the giant dining room table that had been set up in the main hall. This room already had quite a few memories of our little family. This was the room where Edward first told his mother, in a very unconventional way, that he was going to be a father. I was quite literally swept off my feet in this place. And lastly, I had spent hours with Edward at my side so people could shower our baby with gifts. This was truly a great room.

"Alright ladies and gentlemen," Emmett smirked. "Let's cut this thing up!" After the Halloween incident, Rosalie had banned Emmett's large knife privileges.

"My sweet husband, would you do the honors once again?" Elizabeth smiled lovingly at Edward Sr.

"I would be happy to," he smiled back. Edward Sr. started carving the turkey, when Oren smelled the food. The little monkey always decided to get hungry when I was about to eat. I suppose great minds think alike.

"I have to go feed Oren, Edward," I whispered in his ear.

"Unless you feel like you're about to burst, I can take this one," Edward whispered back, in the same hushed voice. I had started pumping so that Edward could take care of Oren some nights without waking me up.

"I'm not too bad, but I can go and take care of him…After all, this is _your_ family's Thanksgiving." Edward never replied, simply standing up and asking to be excused. After Edward had Oren in his arms, he walked out of the room toward their personal kitchen.

"Before I let you all eat—Emmett don't you dare touch that—I thought we should go around and say what we are thankful for," Elizabeth said sweetly. "Esme, would you like to start?"

"Thank you, sister," Esme replied. "I am thankful for my wonderful husband—" Esme gave Carlisle a quick kiss on the cheek "—my amazing daughter—" Alice's face instantly brightened "—and being here with all of you."

"Carlisle, would you like to go next?" Elizabeth asked.

"Gladly," Carlisle said, before clearing his throat. "I am, of course, thankful for my wife and my lovely daughter, but also for the man who makes her happy. Thank you, Jasper, for taking care of my little girl."

"That was perfect, Carlisle. Jasper, would you go next?" Elizabeth asked once again.

"The only thing that fills my mind and my heart is Alice. I am so thankful I decided to leave the South for college because if I hadn't, I never would have met any of you. And I know I am not related to any of you by blood, but to me, you are all family, and for that, I am thankful," Jasper smiled, looking deeply into Alice's eyes.

"Rosalie, my newly acquired daughter, please tell us what you are thankful for." Elizabeth commanded.

"My husband, the chance to have something growing inside of me, even if it didn't work out, joining this family legally, finally getting along with Bella, and all the time I have gotten to spend with all of you," Rosalie smiled.

"Emmett," Elizabeth instructed.

"Of course I'm thankful for my Rosie, but also for the baby that could have been and the babies that will come. I'm also thankful for all of you guys and especially for sprinkler boob Bella!" Emmett yelled, earning a slap on the arm from Rose, a scowl from his mother, and a laugh from everyone else at the table except for me; I was bright red and my face was buried in my hands.

"Okay, Emmett, you have had your fun, and now you have ruined our speeches. Let's just eat," Elizabeth sighed.

"It's about time!" Emmett said excitedly, as he grabbed a heaping spoonful of mashed potatoes and plopped it on his plate.

"That was your plan the whole time, wasn't it?" Rosalie asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Duh," Emmett said, through a mouthful of food.

"I did not teach you to eat that way, Emmett Masen!" Elizabeth scolded. Emmett's head dropped, but only for a second, because he saw the stuffing.

We had all started eating, when Edward returned with Oren resting against his shoulder. Edward was gently patting our son's back as he sat down next to me. "He's all finished," Edward smiled. "Did I miss any family fights yet?"

"Oh, nothing much," Alice giggled. "Just Emmett talking about Bella's boobs!"

"Emmett, why were you talking about my fiancée's breasts?" Edward asked through a clenched jaw.

"Calm down, baby brother. I just made a joke so mom would let me eat!" Emmett said with pride. Why he was so proud of humiliating me for his own purposes was beyond me.

"Relax, Edward," I sighed, as I gently touched his free arm. Oren had drifted to sleep on Edward's shoulder and he looked so peaceful.

"How do you do that, Bella? I could be angry one moment and then a single touch from you, calms me down," Edward whispered, without moving Oren.

"It's my hidden super power," I joked, as I put some food on Edward's plate so he wouldn't have to move and accidentally wake up the little boy sleeping on his shoulder.

Once everyone had finished eating, I walked with Edward, while holding Oren, through the hallways for a little alone time. It was just our little family having a nice walk. Halfway down one of the hallways, Alice stopped us.

"My turn!" Alice screeched, causing Oren to wake up. "I wanna' baby-sit! Emmett and Rose got to, so now it's Jasper and my turn! Now, hand over the baby!"

"Alice, I am feeding him before I even let you touch him, because I know if you put one finger on him, you'll grab him and run away. I like my baby! Don't steal him!" I followed Alice into the room that she was sharing with Jasper and sat down on one of the armchairs, while Edward moved over to the closet and pulled something out of it.

"My brother has already mentioned your boobs tonight and I would rather not have anymore of that, so please cover up while you feed him?" Edward pleaded, while handing me a blanket.

"Trust me when I say that I don't want anymore comments like that coming out of anyone's mouth. How did he even find out about it anyway?" I asked.

"Emmett finding out would sort of be my fault," Alice surrendered, going as far to put her hands up in the air.

"And how did _you_ find out?" Edward inquired.

"I overheard mom, Gwen, and Aunt Elizabeth talking about it," she mumbled, looking down at her shoes. "Oh, and Bella," she said, instantly perking up, "mom said something like 'Bella should have Edward help her pump if she gets that kind of reaction'."

"Okay, no baby for you," I said, as I moved Oren and put my shirt back in place. "See you in the morning, Alice." With that, I walked straight out of the room, Edward following right behind me. I felt his arm wind around my waist as we continued our walk. I rested my head on his shoulder and bounced Oren as we walked through the never ending hallways. After a short amount of time, Oren started to let out his little baby yawns.

We walked out into the garden where we watched the fireflies dance. It was the same as it had been at the engagement party, yet it was so different at the same time. Instead of just Edward and my enlarged form, we now had Oren with us. Everything was new now that he was out in this crazy world.

Edward stepped away for a second and returned with a blanket. He spread it out on the lawn and the three of us curled up together, watching the fireflies. After about fifteen minutes of lying like this, I noticed Oren and Edward had fallen asleep. My two favorite men in the entire universe, cuddled up with me. Too bad it had to end; I could hear Emmett trying to find us.

"Where the hell did you guys go?!" Emmett screamed from inside the house. "You can't kidnap your own baby, you know?" I heard Emmett step out of the house and walk toward us.

"Keep quiet, Em," I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, while I put my finger to my lips. Emmett did his best to tip-toe over to our blanket before crouching down so that we could have a quiet conversation.

"You should take Oren inside because in a few minutes it will be getting very loud out here," Emmett said wickedly. I gently stood up and settled Oren into my arms, trying not to wake him.

"Don't be too mean, Emmett. I would like to still have a fiancé in the morning," I whispered, before walking inside and into the bedroom. I gently laid Oren into his bassinette, then started to wash off the day in the bathroom.

After I was completely naked, I looked at the differences that Oren had made to my body. I had already filled the bathtub, and it was calling me. But then two wet arms wrapped around me from behind, making me jump. When I squealed from shock, Edward's hand quickly covered my mouth. I felt him laugh from behind me as he moved his lips to my ear and gave it a quick kiss.

"That's for letting Emmett turn the sprinklers, on me," Edward whispered into my ear. I reached my hand behind me and grabbed a handful of his luscious bronze hair.

"Never scare me like that again. If you do, I will actually do something to your hair, but for now I like it where it is." I released his hair without causing him any pain and rested against him.

"I guess Emmett would think I like sprinklers after Alice told him about the other night," Edward laughed, still holding onto me. "I really did enjoy finding you naked, though. You should walk around naked more often," he said, as he started kissing my neck.

"I could say the same for you," I sighed. "But right now, I need that bath, Edward. I just need to relax for awhile; I never knew how crazy your family Thanksgivings were."

"Would you like me to join you?" Edward asked in a sultry tone.

"As pleasant as that sounds, I would rather you be on baby watch." I turned around so I was facing him, smiled and kissed him, and then backed away to stand near the tub. I put my hair up in a messy bun and sat down in the tub. I looked over to see Edward's eyes fixed on me.

"Can I _please_ join you?" Edward begged.

"Do you realize you sound like a horny teenager?"

"I know how much you like frat boys. Maybe I should go get some beers and act like a moron. Or, I could just get Emmett to puke on you, although, I don't think we're ready for another baby quite yet."

"No more babies for a long time, Edward," I warned him. "You can join me but only if you agree to a few rules."

"Rules?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, rules. First, we absolutely cannot have sex right now because I won't be able to handle another mishap. It seems like people enjoy interrupting us, especially Oren. Second, _you_ have to listen for Oren. I will not move from my bath when you are the one on baby duty. Thirdly, I get to read while you hold me—and yes, you will be holding me." We both looked at each other for a long moment before I spoke again. "Take off those wet clothes and get in here!"

"As you wish." Edward striped down and sat behind me in the tub. I relaxed against him, just enjoying him. Eventually, I reached over and grabbed my book. "What are we reading, love?" Edward asked.

"It's a new one for me. It's called _Marked_ and all I know is that it's about vampires but I really haven't gotten very far on it yet."

"Then we should read it together," Edward smiled, as he placed his head on my shoulder so he could see the book.

"I'll start with the poem at the beginning.

'_There also stands the gloomy house of night; _

_Ghastly clouds shroud in darkness. _

_Before it Atlas erect and on his head _

_And unwearying arms firmly supports the broad sky, _

_Where night and day cross a bronze threshold _

_And then come close and greet each other.' _

_(Hesiod, Theogony, 744 ff.)_

So what do you think of it so far, Edward?" I asked.

We spent nearly two hours in the tub, reading and discussing whatever we could. We even had a discussion about what color a darker skinned person would look like if they were a vampire. He said they would turn as pale as all the others, while I said that they would look tanned. I was certain this discussion could go on forever, but it was time for bed. We were both exhausted and in need of rest before Oren would start screaming once again.

**Author's note;**

**First of all if you have read **_**Marked**_** don't tell me. I haven't read it yet but I really want too! It's on my nightstand right now! Thanks you to; E.C. Cullen for editing, Angelic Messenger17 and Lizbre who pre-read it, and the amazing My-Bella who has been extremely busy working on her stories. Cookie League forever! **

**Calling all people, I have quite a few ideas for this story, but I never finished mapping things out, so if you have ideas send them my way. **

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants **

**P.S. I love you all and your nice reviews!**


	9. Office Harpies

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**My laptop is out of commision which is why it took so long to update. But here it is and thanks to the cookie league and lizbre for helping me in my time of need, AKA my baby's virus. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Nine, Office Harpies _

_BPOV_

"This is going to be fun, Oren," I said to my son, as we walked into Edward's office building. I finally decided it was time to look at the daycare center here and to show off our baby to all of the people in his office.

We had taken a taxi to Edward's office building because Edward had obviously taken the Volvo, and I didn't have a car.

There was a large desk in the entryway with four women sitting behind it. The whole building made me feel so small. I knew Edward must have fit in perfectly here since he was raised being rich, and he fit into these upper class standards. Then there was me, I grew up lower to middle class. Up until this year, I was living off of scholarships and grants. I am sure Edward's parents paid his tuition without lifting a finger. I knowthey are all great people and I know in my heart Edward loves me, but days, like today, make me wonder _why_ he loves me.

"I'm here to see Edward Masen," I smiled nervously to one of the women at the desk.

"What's your name?" the woman asked.

"Bella Swan," I replied.

"I'll let him know you are here." I heard the clicking of her keyboard which I am assuming was connected to her phone because she started to speak. I have no idea exactly what she said because she talked a mile a minute. I heard another click before she turned back to me. "He'll be right down," she smiled that fake smile that all receptionists have. "You really are lucky. I have seen this guy. He is smoking hot. So what kind of car are you having made? I mean, you don't really look like you could afford a custom car." What a snooty bitch!

"I'm his fiancée," I smirked, flashing her the ring. Oren started his little baby laugh after I had done that. "And this little guy wants to see his—" I was cut off by one of the sweetest voices I've ever heard.

"Daddy," Edward smiled, before kissing my cheek. Edward smiled at Oren, who was in his car seat that was perched on my hip. Your body is a small price to pay when you get to see the man you love, beaming at the sight of his child.

"Surprise," I smiled, before Edward took the car seat from me. "Oren went on his first taxi ride today, Edward!"

"We really do need to work out the whole car situation," Edward said, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"We'll talk about that later. Right now, Oren wants a tour of your big fancy office," I laughed, hoping he would leave the car subject alone. I would love a car, but I wanted to do at least _some _things for myself. I may be marrying into wealth but that didn't mean that he had to pay for everything. I felt bad that I couldn't always contribute financially.

"Okay, you two. Let's head upstairs to my office," Edward laughed. I followed Edward to the elevator and up to his floor. Edward had found a job that suited him perfectly…designing cars. The man had a knack for cars that I will never understand.

The elevator doors opened to an elegant looking waiting room with couches and all. It reminded me a lot of Edward's parents' house. Edward used his free arm to wrap it around me as we walked through the stylish cubicles. I had no idea how you could make a cubical stylish, but they did. This whole place was just way too much to take in.

"Abby, I would like to introduce you to my fiancée, Bella," Edward smiled at his secretary. Abby looked me up and down before she nodded at me slightly and turned back to her computer screen. _Great,_ I thought, _another chick who wants to get in Edward's pants_. I wish I could match Edward's looks some days; when I look at him and then I look at me, I notice how much of a difference there is. _Oh, great, it's one of _those_ days,_ I thought. _Bella, you know he loves you or he wouldn't have given you the damn ring, so snap out of it_!

"So, where is this office of yours, Edward?" I asked with a smile.

"Right here." Edward opened a frosted glass door to reveal a huge office, complete with two armchairs. Now I see why he was never worried about our finances.

"Edward, this is amazing," I sighed, as I walked through the door into his office. He followed and set Oren's car seat on one of the armchairs before taking him out. I walked over so I was behind Edward, and wrapped my arms around him. "I missed you."

"I missed you more than you will ever know. It's funny how we can be apart for only a few hours and feel that we have been apart for weeks," Edward smiled, before turning around, holding Oren against his shoulder.

"So, onto the other reason we dropped in on you. You know next month I start school again and that means it's time for this momma to look at the daycare here."

"I'll call down there right after I get a kiss from the most amazing woman in the world," Edward said, before moving his lips toward mine. _How could I ever doubt this man's love? Some days I feel so stupid_. _Hell, the man treats me like an angel, and there is no way he would ever do anything to hurt me, so what is wrong with my head that I'm always thinking the worst is going to happen_? Edward's kiss was perfect, like it always was. It was a little difficult because Edward was still holding Oren, but that is our life now. We are the parents of a wonderful baby boy.

"Now that you have had that kiss, get your cute butt on that phone," I laughed, while moving my hand to Edward's very nice butt and giving it a little tap.

"Yes, ma'am," he smirked, as he walked to his desk. I loved the sight of Edward sitting behind his desk with Oren in his arms. What a perfect dad.

After he finished on the phone, it was time for the all-important baby show-off. Edward had us stopping at almost every cubical to show Oren and me to someone. If I didn't know better, I would have felt like a trophy fiancée. Silly me.

"Aw, he is so cute," one of the female workers cooed at Oren. There was an entire group of women surrounding us.

"How did he propose?" another woman asked.

"When are you two getting married?" a short one asked.

"How old is the little guy?" the one trying to steal Oren asked.

"He's around four months old," Edward laughed, holding Oren a little closer so the woman couldn't get her hands on him.

"Edward proposed with the baby," I smirked. "We don't have any idea about a wedding date yet. I have to finish school before I can even start to plan a wedding." What was it with everyone wanting us to get married right away?

"I absolutely cannot wait to make her my wife," Edward said lovingly, while looking into my eyes. He could dazzle me from here to the moon.

"Well, we can tell she's a keeper!" one laughed.

We made it to the daycare shortly after Edward had made us walk through the entire maze of cubicles. My feet felt like they might fall off. When the door opened for the daycare, I was surprised at how homey it felt. It wasn't like one of those big-chain daycares.

"Welcome to The Etherton Childcare Center," a woman smiled when she saw us. "My name is Jessica and I would be happy to show you two around."

Jessica checked Edward out, but was a lot subtler than the secretary upstairs. She showed us the older children's play areas first, but we didn't need that quite yet. When we got into the baby area, there were murals of night skies covering every wall and it was absolutely stunning.

"This is the napping are for the little ones so we have to be quiet while we walk through here," she whispered. "We have safety cribs that can be push together in case of any kind of emergency. They really are high-tech."

"This is amazing, Edward," I whispered into his ear, while Oren stared up at the stars painted on the ceiling.

We walked into a room that felt sunny; it even had a sun on the mural. This place looked like it would cost the same price as my tuition! There were babies playing on the floor, rolling around and shaking rattles and playing with all sorts of noisy toys.

"Why don't you let Oren meet some of the other babies," Jessica suggested. Edward set Oren down next to a sweet looking baby girl.

"What's her name?" I asked.

"That's Darla. She is quite the silly little girl," Jessica laughed. Oren and Darla started cooing at each other and touching each others hands.

"They are so cute together," Edward smiled.

"No pre-arranged marriages, Edward. We aren't even married yet; we don't need to be planning _his_ wedding!" I joked. Edward rolled his eyes at me before wrapping his arm around my waist. "Seriously, no planning Oren's wedding yet."

"You are my lovely, silly Bella," Edward chuckled, before kissing the top of my head.

"I love you, too, Edward," I laughed.

"From what I see here, I think Oren will do great in this daycare," Jessica said.

After we finished at the daycare, Edward decided to leave work early and drive us home. Once we were home, I put Oren down for his much needed nap, which left Edward and me on the couch.

"Hey, Edward?" I asked, while resting my head in his lap.

"Yes?" he replied.

"I was thinking, maybe we could do the wedding close to Oren's birthday."

"I thought you wanted to wait until after your graduation to talk about this?" Edward inquired.

"I did, but with all the talking that happened today, I thought I would put that date out there. It would be close to a year for an engagement and if we keep things small, I won't have to start planning until after I graduate."

"It sounds like you have a lot of good ideas, but you have to change one thing…"

"And what is that?" I asked.

"I get to help plan it!"


	10. Mom's New Boyfriend

**Disclaimer: sadly Stephenie owns my dolls.**

**I had the crazy week from hell and my laptop is on an IV. I'll go into detail at the bottom. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Ten, Mom's New Boyfriend_

_BPOV_

This was awkward. My mother was sitting across the table from my dad, her boyfriend was at her side and Edward and I were on the ends of the table, trying to keep them separated. Oh what a joyous Christmas Eve this would be. Somehow, the brilliant idea of having a family Christmas with my parents entered my head and I sorely regret acting on it.

"So…" Edward said, trying to find something, anything to ease the tension in the room. "Charlie, have you gone fishing lately?"

"Yes," my father replied bluntly.

"Catch anything good?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, but apparently I wasn't the only one to go fishing," Charlie scowled, while eyeing Renee. I needed to break things up and fast!

"Hey mom, do you think you could come help me get dessert ready in the kitchen?" I asked, while grabbing her arm and dragging her to the kitchen. She did not look happy when I finally turned around to look at her. "Mom, what the hell?" I yelled, while still whispering.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, with a bewildered look on her face.

"Does _family_ Christmas mean nothing to you? You can't just drag along a man I have never met before and show him off in front of dad?"

"I'm not showing anyone off," my mom defended.

"You brought your boyfriend to _my_ apartment when you knew dad would be here! How is that not showing him off?"

"I want to spend Christmas with Phil, is that such a crime?"

"When you hurt other people's feelings to do it, then yes, yes it's a crime because you don't seem to care about how dad feels or even how I feel," I half-yelled. I couldn't maintain my whisper-yell anymore. I knew my parents would move on someday but, like any child, I always had the secret hope they would get back together, even though I knew that it would be awful if they did and not just for them but for me, too.

"Maybe I should just leave," Renée sighed in defeat. "Apparently you don't realize that I love him."

"Did you find this one in rehab, mom?" Renée has had quite a few boyfriends that she picked up at bars and the only reason I met them was because I would get a call saying I needed to pick my mother up from that bar. This was the first time she had ever let Charlie see a single one of them and it was not going well.

"No. I have known Phil for a long time."

"How long?"

"For about fifteen years," Renée whispered.

"Please, please tell me that you're lying!" I gasped.

"No."

"But you were sill married to dad!"

"It didn't turn romantic until this month. We were friends for a long time. Your dad didn't know about our friendship. That's all it was—a friendship."

"How did you meet this guy?" She paused with an injured look on her face. "How?!"

"I met him at a baseball game," she said weakly.

"You don't like sports." This was the worst conversation I had ever had with my mother, and trust me, we have had some bad ones.

"Your dad took me to the game." What?! Oh, no, she did not!

"What is your problem? Are you mentally handicapped?"

"Are you disrespecting me, Isabella?" Renée asked in a parental voice.

"You have to earn respect."

"I'm leaving."

"No your not. You are staying to spend time with your grandson on his first Christmas. I thought you had changed." I grabbed her arm when she turned to walk away.

"I did but I love Phil. I really truly honestly do."

"Prove it by being subtle. You need to earn your family's trust."

"You know how I used to be and you know I'm trying to be a better person. Phil is helping me see that I _can_ be a better person."

"Bella?" I heard Edward's voice panic from the other room. "I think we should open presents." Edward walked to the doorway while still keeping an eye on Phil and my father. "Help," he whispered.

"Hey, dad? I think Oren wants to open those presents," I said, trying to sound chipper. Dear lord, please let things lighten up. I grabbed Edward's hand and then my mother's and dragged them back into the dining room. We walked in on a staring contest between the two men that once loved, or still did love, my mother. Now that I know the other reason dad was so angry when he saw Phil, I was happy that he hadn't pulled out his gun. What a fun Christmas this was turning out to be! Sarcasm is a woman's best friend!

Edward, Renée, Charlie, and Phil went into the living room while I walked down the hallway and grabbed Oren from his room. The poor baby was woken up for his family's sanity. After a few awkward minuets, we came up with a suitable seating arrangement where Renée and Phil were on the love seat and Charlie and Edward were on the sofa. I was sitting on the floor resting my back on Edward's legs with Oren on my lap. He was being surprisingly good considering I had just made him wake up.

"Edward, would you like to open up a present first?" I asked, looking up, making my head rest slightly on his lap so I could see his dazzling emerald eyes.

"I would love to," he smiled, before bending down and kissing me softly. I shifted while still holding Oren so I could rest my back on the couch instead of on Edward. He stood up and walked to the tree, grabbing presents and putting them by their owner. When he was finished, I finally realized that Phil only had one present and it was from my mother. So now I hated him _and_ I felt bad for him. What an odd combination of emotions.

"Go ahead, son, start opening those presents," Charlie smiled. He really loved that Edward had stayed with me through all of the turmoil.

"Yes, sir," Edward saluted. He grabbed the first present and gave it a little shake.

"Don't shake them," I laughed. "What if there is something breakable in it?"

"Then I'll glue it back together, love," Edward laughed back. He opened the box to find a fishing video game. That present was undeniably from Charlie. "Thank you, Charlie," Edward smiled.

"Now you can practice so we can go this summer," Charlie beamed.

"Let him open his next present, dad," I smiled, trying to get Charlie to stop pushing fishing trips on Edward. It's not like Edward didn't want to spend time with Charlie; it's that Charlie could drop him off the boat in the middle of the ocean and no one would believe that he had done it. So in other words, Charlie scared the crap out of Edward because Edward thought he could separate the two of us. That would never happen; Charlie is having too much fun being a grandfather.

"This one's from Renée and…Phil," Edward said awkwardly, before tearing the paper. When I saw the baseball in the box, I stood up suddenly, holding Oren, who began to cry at my sudden movement.

"Oren wants to open his presents now, Edward, so you can finish your presents later," I blurted out as fast as I could. Edward had a confused look across his face, but my face must have been serious enough for him not to question me.

"Okay, Bella," Edward said, in a weary tone. I hoped he didn't think I was mad a him.

"Edward could you grab Oren's presents while I get him calmed down?" I asked.

"So Edward, what sort of sports do you like?" Phil asked. Why couldn't he just keep his mouth closed?

"Football," Edward mumbled, while grabbing boxes for Oren. Once all of Oren's presents were stacked in front of Edward, Oren, and me, we started to open them. First was from my mother and Phil and it was a bundle of clothes, and then there was a second box from them that had a glow worm inside of it.

"Thank you, Renée," I smiled. There was no way I was calling her mom after she gave Edward a damn baseball just to piss dad off!

"You're welcome, Bella," she forced out. She knew I was upset and she was trying her hardest not to make it any worse.

At the end of opening presents, the atmosphere had lifted a little bit and the air wasn't as thick with stress. Oren was yawning the entire time we were opening gifts so I decided to put him back to sleep.

After Oren had been put to bed, I went to the kitchen and started to cut the pies that were for dessert. There was a pumpkin pie and a French silk pie. When I walked into the dining room, I noticed that the glaring had stopped. Dad was talking with Edward, and Renée was talking with Phil, and they weren't trying to beat each other up with their eyes!

"Who wants pumpkin?" I asked, as I set the pies on the table.

"I'll take some," Charlie smiled.

"I love pumpkin," Phil said, as he eyed the plate that held the pumpkin pie. That was unexpected. I dished them each a piece of pumpkin pie and set each plate in front of them.

"Edward, did you want pumpkin or French silk?" I asked, while he put that sexy grin on his face.

"I'll just eat some of yours," Edward smirked. "It wouldn't be the first time." Edward ducked very quickly after that comment because the pie somehow fell out of my hand and flew at him. The reality was that I threw it at him with all the force I could ever use against my romantic but sometimes annoying fiancé.

"I think it's time for us to go…" Renée said, as she grabbed Phil and tried to make her escape. Before they could make it out of the dining room, Charlie had picked up the pie that was in front of him and threw it at Phil. Oh crap. What have I started?

"Exactly how long have the two of you been screwing?" Charlie asked, while grabbing more pie.

"I am _so_ confused right now," Edward said, taking in the sight of a food fight only my family could have.

"It wasn't like that until two months ago, Charlie!" Renée defended.

"So you just expect me to believe that someone _I_ introduced you to when we were still married shows up out of the blue and you fall in love. Bull shit, Renée. I know you better than that," Charlie growled.

"I never said we just ran into each other," Renée yelled. _Please don't let them wake Oren up_! "We have been _friends_ since after the divorce." Charlie threw the next slice at Renée, who grabbed a slice of her own. I will never expect my parents to sit in the same room again!

"Okay, before our dining room gets completely covered in pie, could you please take mercy on me and keep it quiet so I don't have to deal with a screaming baby," I pleaded.

"How about you both just put the pie down and leave?" Edward suggested. Both of my parents threw the slices of pie they were holding at Edward.

"What were you thinking, talking about my daughter like that?!" Charlie yelled at Edward. The poor man brought it on himself.

"How could you say something like that in front of us?!" Renée started yelling at Edward too. Never, never again will I host a family Christmas!

"Put the pie down!" I interfered. "I'm the only one that can hit Edward with pie!"

"We are trying to defend you Bella!" Charlie retorted.

"I don't need defending dad. All of you need to calm down and go clean up!" They all just stood there looking at me with shocked expressions. "All of you go clean up, NOW!"

Both of my parents and Phil walked out of the room, leaving me alone with a pie covered Edward. "You're such a good mom," Edward grinned wickedly, as he sauntered toward me.

"You wouldn't!" I gasped, backing away from him.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Bella. That mom thing was pretty sexy." He took a few more steps toward me.

"You don't want my parents to hear you talking like that." I pointed my finger at Edward as a warning. He didn't pay attention to my warning and pinned me to the wall, while smearing my clothes with pie.

"Do you know what this reminds me of?" Edward asked, with a dreamy look in his eyes.

"What?" I knew exactly what it reminded him of but I wanted to hear him say it.

"The food fight in Emmett and Rosalie's hotel room."

"Do you remember the look on Emmett's face?" I asked, while laughing.

"Yes. We should go clean up, though, because we are going to have to clean this room before anything gets stained," Edward sighed.

We walked down the hallway and peeked in Oren's room before stepping into ours. As soon as we were all cleaned up, I made everyone go into the living room for a "nice chat". I made everyone, but Edward, sit down, feeling like I was everyone in the rooms mom at that second.

"Phil," I started, "did you date my mother before she was divorced?"

"No," Phil replied calmly.

"As a reminder, I will personally send a pack of dogs and a group of bloodthirsty bats after anyone who lies tonight." I paced back and forth in front of the couch. I was really starting to scare myself with the whole mom routine. "Now, I need to know why you three acted so badly in my dining room!"

"You threw the pie first," Renée defended.

"I wasn't talking about the pie. I want to know why you felt the need to ruin Oren's first Christmas with your bickering," I said through my teeth.

"Sorry," the three of them said in unison. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist to try and calm me down; it worked flawlessly.

"Can you three at least help me clean up the dining room?" I asked in defeat.

They all nodded yes and we got to work on getting my dining room pie free. The pie was smeared on everything. My parents both turned bright red when they saw the smear marks on the wall. It would be a dirty job but with the five of us I knew it wouldn't take too long.

Once everything was cleaned and the trio of doom left, Edward and I snuggled up in bed, trying to forget my crazy parents. "Edward?" I asked.

"What is it, love?"

"If you ever let me do something like that again, you won't be able to touch me for a month."

"You do realize that you will be punished, too, if you do that?" Edward smirked, while looking into my eyes.

"I can handle it," I smiled jokingly.

"Can you handle _my_ crazy family's Christmas?"

"Not if my life depended on it."

**Author's note;**

**Hey guys! I am extremely sorry that this took so long. You have no idea how shitty I have felt on top of the other things going on I didn't get much done. **

**The IV thing is next on my list. Apparently my laptop never had a virus. The charging system on the motherboard is screwed up and so the only way it will run properly is if I remove the battery and run it directly off of the power cord. **

**Thanks to everyone who reads, to E.C. Cullen, to Angelic Messenger17, to My-Bella, and to Lizbre!**


	11. A Poor Gardener and a Sneaky Rose

One Year in Heaven's Hell

**Disclaimer: you know the deal. I don't own squat. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Eleven, A Poor Gardener and a Sneaky Rose_

_BPOV_

Oh the joys of children, Oren just woke us up by screaming his lungs out. It's another four AM wake up call. "Edward, it's your turn," I mumbled into my pillow.

"It's Christmas, you can make my present taking an extra turn getting Oren," Edward yawned, while he nudged my leg with his.

"No way. Get up," I said with an unintentional bite in my voice.

"But you can feed him naturally so you should do it," Edward mumbled.

"I had to carry him in my stomach for nine months, now get your cute butt out of bed and get him!"

"You suck," Edward mumbled, as he rolled out of bed.

"You know that all too well. Now go get the baby!" I said in an exhausted yell.

When I drifted back to sleep and in my dreams I saw a lush green meadow with wildflowers growing all around and releasing their sweet scent. There was a small brook running along one of the edges and the best part of it was that Edward was lying in the grass in the middle of the circular meadow with his arms resting behind his head. I walked over to him and joined him in the grass putting my head on his chest listening to his heart. All of the sudden a giant bubble started floating toward us with beautiful rainbows glistening from it. It floated right into my arms and popped revealing our wonderful sleeping Oren.

Oren was older in the dream and was giggling at how the grass tickled his hands as he crawled around. Edward held me as we watched Oren explore the world…or at least the meadow. It felt so right to relax as a family in our own little world.

I have no idea how much time had passed before Edward came into the room holding a crying Oren. "Bella, you're going to have to try and feed him. He won't take a bottle and he is just plain pissy," Edward said in a concerned voice.

"Bring him here," I sighed, as I rolled on my side. Edward laid Oren down so he was facing me, when I tried to feed him I didn't have any luck, the kid just wouldn't eat. "Edward, please go get the gas drops I think they might help."

Edward returned with a little bottle of sticky, gooey liquid. Of course I bought the bright pink one and of course Oren spit it all over the bed sheets leaving big pink marks everywhere. This was turning out to be a great Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, Edward," I sighed, as I rolled out of bed.

"Merry Christmas, love," he smiled sleepily, as he came up behind me and hugged me. I leaned back against him and breathed in his scent, Edward placed a soft kiss on the side of my neck. Our little moment was interrupted by our screaming child. I love being a parent and I love our son but I would love it if he would sleep when we do.

We were up for an hour trying to figure out what was wrong with Oren. It just didn't make sense everything was normal except he was screaming his head off and he wouldn't eat. He wasn't running a fever or spitting up, then an idea hit me.

"Edward?" I asked in a confused voice.

"What?" Edward was bouncing Oren in front of the window.

"When was the last time you changed a poopy diaper?"

"I don't know," Edward replied with a look oh confusion. "Awhile ago, why?"

"He's constipated."

"That's not something I want to find out about," Edward said bluntly with a hint of disgust.

"It's just poop Edward. And because of that comment you made in front of my parents, you get to help our son!"

"What would I have to do?" Edward asked with a sigh.

"Go to the fridge and get out a little jar that says suppositories," I instructed.

"Please, tell me that you're joking," Edward said with pleading eyes.

"He's small enough that you would only need half. After that you just put a little Vaseline on it and stick it up there," I shrugged.

"I love Oren and I love being his dad, but sticking things up his butt is something I could never—and I do mean never—do."

"Fine, but I'm going to have to teach you how to take his temperature that way just in case the pacifier thermometer breaks and so you can get over your little fear or I could jus get a giant mural painted on Oren's bedroom wall of a smiley face," I threatened, as I started toward the door. "Oh, and you're going to pay me back by getting us out of staying at your parent's house tonight."

"I thought you were trying to help me get over that fear and if you remember right you used to be afraid of them too! And as for my parents' house, you know that's not possible, right?"

"Just try and keep Oren calm for now we'll talk about it after he poops."

I went to the kitchen got the "supply" and did what a good mommy has to. When he finally pooped he giggled right after. He is such a man. The three of us were in the living room Edward and me were on the sofa and Oren was playing on a blanket kicking like crazy. It was his new favorite thing to do. I figured that now would be a good time to bring up Edward's family Christmas.

"Edward, I really don't think we should stay at your parents' house tonight," I said, while giving him my best puppy dog eyes. I know Alice is the queen of puppy dog eyes but I figured that my version might work on Edward.

"I have to go pack the overnight bags," Edward said, as he tried to stand up.

"No. I don't want another baby monitor incident. Please, get us out of spending the night," I pleaded. Edward gave me a dazzling smile and it worked. Why does he win whenever he uses that look? "That isn't fair, Edward!"

"Bella, you know that the family wants to see Oren _and_ we would be able to let someone watch Oren for awhile and have some alone time," Edward said seductively.

"That's what got us in trouble last time!"

"I highly doubt that we would have a repeat considering my mother was really grossed out when she heard _that_," Edward chuckled.

"Well would you want to hear Oren having sex?"

"I think he is a little too young to be having sex, Bella," Edward joked.

"You know I didn't mean now," I sighed, rolling my eyes at him. "Honestly, when Oren is our age would you really want to have to hear that?"

"Absolutely not."

"If I ever get that nosy, don't let me near Oren's girlfriend," I laughed. "So did you ever find out what Elizabeth actually did after she heard us?"

"Aunt Esme told me she freaked out and threw the monitor out a window!"

"She threw it out a window?"

"I guess, but I would have loved to have been faking it from the room next to hers and watched her face," Edward smiled deviously.

"So what happened to the monitor?" I asked.

"Shortly after she threw it one of the butlers came and told mom that a gardener had to be sent home because something fell off of the house and hit him in the head!"

"Now, I wish I could have seen her face during that part of it!"

"We could always set up some monitors and get her back for what she did." Edward once again threw me that dazzling seductive smile.

"In your words, 'absolutely not.' Now, go pack the bags!"

Edward ran off to pack the bags, while I took Oren into the shower with me. He enjoyed the falling water and the extra skin contact with me. He was turning into quite the momma's boy. When Oren was all cleaned up I called for Edward to come get him. If we hadn't gotten out of going to Elizabeth and Edward Sr.'s house last night I would have been forced into a game of "Bella Barbie" but luckily I could do my own makeup on this holiday.

Once Edward had packed our bags packed and we had Oren in his cute little suit we headed down to the parking garage. Edward's arms were full of bags because—like always—he had to pack the entire apartment. I was holding Oren and we were smashed into the elevator listening to the horrid music.

When we stepped into the actual garage I looked over to our assigned parking spots. Usually one of them would be empty but not this morning, this morning our spots were filled with two shining, silver, matching cars. I gulped loudly when I saw them.

"Edward, where did the Volvo go?" I asked shakily, hoping that he didn't do what I thought he did.

"It's at my parents' house parked next to the vanquish," Edward beamed.

"Why is the Volvo there and whose cars are parked in our spots?"

"Our cars, silly Bella!"

"No. I didn't park anywhere because I don't have a car!"

"Really because your name is on both of the titles," Edward smiled.

"I didn't sign a title, Edward!"

"Yes you did!" Edward said excitedly. "Last week I handed you a paper for you to sign for my work's 'insurance' but it wasn't really for insurance, it was for the cars. I love how cute and distracted you are when you're working on your school work."

"You are in so much trouble!"

"Bella," Edward sighed. "You needed a car so it's a gift you can use and I wanted to spoil you since it is Christmas."

"But this is something we should have talked about first. We are getting married and I would like to be a part of the major decisions," I said hoping he would understand what I was saying.

"If I had let you help pick out the cars then you would have gone to a pre-owned car lot and bought a bad car that we would have had to put a lot of money into anyways. And these get nice gas mileage. Would you please just calm down and take my gift?"

"Is that a convertible?"

"Yes! I got one convertible model and one regular! It's a BMW M6! I remembered how nice Rosalie's M3 was so I looked up the newest model and here it is!" Edward was pretty much jumping up and down with excitement it was very funny to see since he was still holding all the bags. "Aren't they beautiful, Bella?"

"Yes, but how are we going to put a car seat in a convertible?"

"It does have a backseat you know? I figured that the person who has Oren would get the coupe and the person who doesn't have him will get the convertible!"

"Edward, I love you and I would never want to be apart from you and you know that but this is too much!"

"It could never be enough my beautiful fiancée," Edward smiled, as he walked over to the 'coupe' version of our cars. Ugh, did I really just say that they were our cars? "Bella, I really need to put the bags in the trunk and we are standing in the middle of the driveway."

"You could have gotten something with four doors, you know," I said as a rhetorical question. I walked over to the car that Edward had started packing the trunk of. "We do have to talk about this. I know how much you like to spoil me and you know how much I love you but I need to be involved in this stuff."

"I love you, too," Edward said still disappointed. "A thank you would be nice."

"Thank you for thinking of me. I know if I had more money I would have gotten you something nicer than parts for your Volvo. I even had Rosalie help me pick them out, since I don't know anything about cars," I pouted.

"You bought me stuff for the Volvo?" Edward asked, while raising and eyebrow at me and giving me his dazzling smile. "Wait, did you say Rosalie helped you?"

"Obviously, you weren't supposed to find out about your present until after we got to your family Christmas."

"Rosalie knew about the cars," Edward laughed.

"That sneaky bit—never mind. Oren you are not hearing mommy say that."

"Why don't we get Oren strapped into his car seat and we can talk about the car thing _and_ how we are going to get payback on Rosalie!" Edward sounded like a kid who just got a new bicycle or rather a teenager who just stole a kid's new bicycle.

**Author's Note;**

**Okay so I know you didn't get to let them really open presents but I hope this chapter meets your Christmas morning standards. I'm sorry about the slow updates but honestly my health took a little dive this week. So if I haven't replied to an email or anything like that I'm sorry. I swear that my sisters are behind me feeling like this. One drops her kids off at my house the other has me working on her wedding and this weekend I have to force myself to feel remotely healthy because I am being forced to help one move and Monday I am helping another one clean her nasty basement. I love my last sister. She doesn't ask me to do manual labor. I help her but she asks nicely. Okay enough of my bitching. Thanks for reading!**


	12. Nannies and Frat Boys

**Disclaimer: I don't own a darn thing. **

**I am so sorry it took so long for me to post. I already have half of the next chapter written so I am going to try and have it up before Monday. My week was hell on earth. **

**Thanks to E.C. Cullen for being my beta. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twelve, Nannies and Frat Boys_

_BPOV_

We were all sitting in the great room at Edward's parents' house. Oren was sprawled out across a blanket on the floor, Rosalie and Emmett were sitting on the floor next to him, Alice and Jasper were cuddled up on one of the sofas that was brought into the room, I was sitting on a different sofa, and Edward was lying across it with his head on my lap. The sofas made a semi-circle around a Christmas tree that looked like it belonged at Macy's. Elizabeth was on the other side of the room in a deep conversation with Gwen and Esme while Carlisle and Edward Sr. had run off to his study after one of them mentioned their view of a medical condition and how they would treat it.

"I like this," Edward sighed, while I ran my fingers through his hair. "It's not as crazy as your family was last night."

I leaned to his ear and whispered into it. "Not yet, but don't forget about Rose." His response was a hidden chuckle.

"So Bella, I was thinking we need to have some girl time before we go back to school," Alice suggested.

"Does this involve makeovers?" I asked.

"Of course it does," Alice laughed.

"That's one thing you'll never get out of, Bella," Rosalie smiled, never taking her eyes off of Oren.

"So, Sprinkler…" Emmett laughed. His new nickname for me was going to get him slapped one day! "You're almost done with school and spring break is coming up…"

"We have an infant, Emmett," Edward scolded. "We aren't going to go on some crazy trip just so Oren can see how much of an ass his uncle is drunk."

"He's not an ass to me," Rosalie giggled.

"That's because you have enough bitchy thorns to scare that ass off!" Jasper laughed.

"Listen, she may not always be the nicest person but past the bitch is a good mom. Plus, you really haven't been bad. I mean, you have been a great aunt and you haven't done anything to me in a long time," I lied, Not completely being honest, knowing that although she was getting past her college phase, she still had some way to go.

"I think it's time for presents," Elizabeth smiled, while she rested her hands on the back of our sofa; I hadn't even noticed she had moved.

"Yes! I have been waiting for this all day!" Emmett said excitedly.

Everyone gathered around the tree—of course someone went to get Carlisle and Edward Sr.—and got ready for presents… More like _they_ were ready for presents; I had already had to accept a car today and I didn't know how much more I could take.

"Me first!" Emmett said, trying to grab a box from under the tree.

"We are going by age, Emmett Masen, so sit back down," Elizabeth scolded.

"But, mom, the baby doesn't even know what's going on; he's asleep!" Emmett whined.

"Edward, open Oren's presents before your brother has an aneurysm," Edward Sr. instructed.

Edward grabbed Oren's pile of gifts and brought them over to our couch. Oren received some very cool stuff. Surprisingly, Emmett and Rosalie bought the most presents. There was every toy a baby could hope for as well as enough clothes for the rest of the year—they even bought all the different sizes.

Alice opened her presents next. Carlisle and Esme raised her credit card limit and bought her a gorgeous necklace. It made our present seem rather weak. We bought her a silver locket with a picture of Oren inside and "godmother" written on the front of it.

"Oh, my God! There's my baby!" Alice squealed, when she opened the locket. "Thank you, Bella, Edward and my sleepy little Godson!"

Okay, I expected her to say thanks and toss it in the pile with useless gifts, but she took the necklace right out of the box and had Jasper help her put it on; she hadn't even done that with the necklace her parents got her and that was from Tiffany's! She opened the rest of her presents but every once in awhile I noticed her put her hand to the necklace and every time she did she had a huge smile on her face.

Oh crap. I had just realized that I was next. Maybe they wouldn't have bought me much because I wasn't technically part of their family yet. By the pile Edward brought over to me, I could tell that they hadn't. I inwardly groaned as I grabbed the first gift; it was from Edward's parents and I was pleasantly surprised to find something I could use for the future—a leather briefcase. It was black with two silver buckles on the front.

"This is wonderful," I smiled to Elizabeth and Edward Sr.

"Open it Bella," Edward Sr. said excitedly. _Well there goes having a nice simple present,_ I thought.

When I opened the case, I found a brand new laptop. I had been using our desktop computer to do my schoolwork from home, but in a few weeks I would be heading back to the campus and a laptop would be helpful. But a laptop and a car in the same day was overwhelming. They were both things I needed but hard to accept as gifts.

The fact that Edward's mother was being so giving lately was unexpected. I know the way Edward told her about Oren was rude and I should have stopped him, but I didn't. I was too afraid of meeting all these new people and thought if we were at a party she wouldn't be able to rip my hair out for making her son a father. She did freak out on me, but we were really starting to get close.

"I—I don't know what to say," I stumbled.

"A simple 'thank you' will suffice," Elizabeth smiled brightly.

"Thank you," I sighed, running my hand along the laptop.

"Hey, sprinkler boobs, hurry up!" Emmett boomed. I hate Emmett's nicknames.

"I swear, Emmett, if you don't stop calling her that, I'll throw you out the window and see if you land on a gardener, too!" Edward growled.

"BOYS!" Elizabeth screamed. "Remind me again why I thought you two didn't need a nanny anymore?"

"Because they wouldn't let a nanny in the fraternity house," Edward Sr. chuckled. "Could you imagine a nanny trying to watch frat boys?!"

"Enough talk. I want to open my presents before it gets too late!" Gwen yelled. "Bella, get those presents open!"

Once everyone had opened their presents, we brought our things—and our baby—back to our room. Alice had planned a girls' only slumber party in Edward's room. Rosalie kept saying it's my room now, too, but it's just hard to accept that soon I would be married and everything will be _ours_ and not just his or mine. We put Oren into the bassinette and started looking at our gifts.

"So which one of the laptops did they get you?" Edward asked from the black leather sofa on the other side of his bedroom.

"I'm not sure. Do you want to look at it with me before dinner?" I asked.

"I would love to, my Bella," Edward smiled that sexy smile of his. Thank God Oren fell back asleep because I really needed some time with Edward.

"It's silver and it's an HP," I rambled. "That's enough looking."

"Should I do a baby monitor check?"

"Not enough time, just get over here," I giggled.

Edward walked over to the end of the bed where I was sitting and moved the laptop to the floor gently. He bent down and gave me the sweetest, gentlest kiss I could have imagined. But I really didn't want a gentle kiss; I missed him too much for that! I grabbed the collar of his shirt and laid back onto the bed, pulling him with me.

"You know we can't do _that_ right now, Bella," Edward whispered against my lips.

"It doesn't mean we can't have a little fun, Edward," I whispered back, before pulling his lips to mine. Dear Lord, that man could kiss! I decided to be a little different and I grabbed his bottom lip with my lips and suck on it hard.

"I cannot face my family with a hickey on my lip, love," Edward said awkwardly because I still held his bottom lip.

"Too late," I giggled, when I finally released his lip.

"You are going to pay for that one." Edward's hands moved down to my hips and he put a finger in each side of the waistband of my jeans. He did something I really didn't expect; he simply left them there without moving them one inch.

I grabbed onto Edward's shoulders and pulled him closer to me. I wished he would move his hands but they just stayed in the same place. Edward moved his lips to my neck and started trailing kisses down to the neckline of my shirt. His kisses were like little fires, or rather, little explosions. No matter how many times he touched me or kissed me, it always felt like the first time.

Edward's hands were still in place as I moved to wrap my legs around him. We may not have had enough time to have sex but that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy the feeling of him. Edward whimpered when I shifted a little. I was so happy that I got to him, but not happy that his hands were still in the same damn place.

"Hey, Eddie," Emmett yelled, as he burst into the room. Even if we were fully clothed, walking in on us in a position like we were in caused Emmett to put his hands over his eyes. "You guys enjoy mom and dad's a _lot_!"

"What is it Emmett?" I asked, trying to push Edward off of me. He wouldn't move; he just stayed there with a finger on each hip.

"It's dinner time. You guys are ten minutes late," Emmett whined. Leave it to Emmett to burst into a room because he wanted to eat.

"Alright, I suppose we could head to dinner," Edward sighed, as he finally moved. When he stood up on the floor at the end of the bed he took the sides of my underwear with him. Can we say ouch?!

"Edward!" I growled. That's when Oren finally woke up from all the noises. Edward walked over to Oren's bassinette and picked up our sweet angel. He let out the cutest yawn and then snuggled into Edward's arms. I tried to correct my underwear while they were being cute. Emmett just stood in the doorway and laughed at me.

Once we had gotten to the dining room, I noticed that we didn't have a place to put Oren. I really didn't want to eat with him on my lap and though Edward is an excellent father, he would just end up getting frustrated and would end up deciding not to eat if he had to hold Oren. When I went to sit in my chair, I was holding Oren and some woman came up next to me.

"Hello," she said sweetly. She was medium height with long brown hair that was twisted up into a messy pile on the back of her head; it was actually rather cute. "I'll take Oren into a different room for you."

"Excuse me?" I asked. Why would this woman I had never met think I would let her take Oren out of my sight?

"I'm the babysitter. Elizabeth hired me to look after Oren until eleven o'clock tonight," she replied.

"Oh, well then I guess I should let you take him for awhile. He will need to eat in about an hour so if you want to come and find me I'll do that," I instructed, as I reluctantly handed over my little one. "His diapers are in Edward's bedroom and there are wipes and extra clothes in there too."

"This is your first time using a babysitter, isn't it?" she asked laughing.

"Is it that obvious? I have let him go off with his aunt or uncle or other family members but never a babysitter," I admitted.

"Don't worry, I have done this for years. My name is Michelle by the way. Now, have a lovely dinner," Michelle smiled, as she walked away with Oren.

Elizabeth had ordered a plated dinner for us from the party kitchen which meant that she could control Emmett's portions and the rest of us would get food, too. The dinner was roast beef with mashed red potatoes, steamed asparagus—which Emmett wouldn't touch—and fresh cranberry sauce. We had crème Brule for dessert and all went our separate ways. Edward and I had about a half hour of alone time before Alice would invade our bedroom—okay that is still odd to say—and turn it into a girly slumber party. That's when we get our revenge!

Little to say, Edward and I enjoyed our first Christmas together, even with Alice invading.

**Author's note;**

**Thank you for putting up with my slow updates. I would like to have the story completely finished by May twenty-eighth. That is my birthday. **

**So, Sunday night my three year old nephew found my sister's epi-pen and he is the smartest kid I know because he found out how to open it and gave himself the shot. I was scared to death and all I could do was wait by the phone. He wasn't at my house when it happened. On Monday my sister was in a car accident. Thankfully her and the kids are fine. Wednesday I had to play taxi and drive over an hour to my sister's so she could go grocery shopping. Thursday I had bridal shower shopping with my crazy mother. One of my other sisters is getting married this summer. Friday the one sister I haven't mentioned yet had oral sugery and my sister who was in the car accident and has kids came up to our house for the weekend. Tomorrow is watching my sister's kids and getting the house cleaned and getting ready for the bridal shower that is on Sunday. I swear I cannot handle anymore drama! **

**There is another chapter of Christmas! The crazyness isn't over yet! Because they still have to get Rosalie back! And Bella doesn't have much memory of the revenge. **

**A preview of the next chapter:**

_EPOV_

_"What happened to this place?" I asked in a gasp. When I looked around the room I finally deciphered one pink object from the next. My gold comforter was replaced with a furry pink one and there was sheer pink fabric covering every lamp in the room. In front of the television hot-pink fleece blankets were spread out. Speaking of spread out, my sweet Bella was sprawled across one of them with a bottle of Arbor Mist in her hand._


	13. PeptoBismol

**Thanks to my cookie sisters especially E.C. Cullen who edited. **

**Disclaimer: I used to own a bottle of Arbor Mist but like this story I don't, at least I owned the alcohol at one point. **

**Arbor Mist is a brand of alcohol. Mostly house wives drink it but I have too. Don't tell on me because I am a sober cookie now. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Thirteen, Pepto-Bismol_

_EPOV_

Alice had kicked me out of my own bedroom forty-five minutes ago. In fifteen minutes, I would have to join the girls. Also in fifteen minutes, the babysitter would bring Oren back to us. My mission was completed and wrapped. It was rather difficult escaping Emmett and Jasper, but after they got into their video games enough that they were swearing like sailors, I knew I would be safe.

"Earth to Edward," Emmett yelled in my ear, as he slapped me on the back of the head. "Are you going to play _Soul Caliber_ with us or not?"

"It's a two player game, Emmett," I pointed out.

"Yes, but I already kicked Jasper's butt enough times, so now it's your turn," Emmett smiled.

"Fine, but I get to be Ivy," I sighed.

"You think that a girl could beat the raw power of Emmett?" He beamed. Leave it to my brother to make a character that looks almost exactly like him but has better fighting skills.

"Emmett, how many times have I beaten you, and how many times has it been with Ivy? Rosalie is a girl and she could kick your ass!"

"Don't remind me," Emmett mumbled.

After three fights with Emmett, the score was one win for him and two wins for me. Ivy struck once again! Before I knew it, the babysitter came into the room holding my sweet sleeping son.

"He is quite the little man, Edward," Michelle whispered, as she handed Oren to me. Emmett started laughing at something on the TV loudly and everyone in the room turned to glare at him. He was going to have to learn how to control his volume when he got his own kids.

"Yes, he is," I smiled back. "How much do I owe you?"

"Your mother took care of my bill," Michelle said, before walking out of the room.

"Are you guys ready to join the women folk?" Emmett asked jokingly.

"Yes, let's get to our room so we can see them," I smiled, looking down at the little bundle in my arms.

"What do you mean _our_ room? I refuse to share a bed with you again!" Jasper laughed. "I can't handle being beat-up in my sleep."

"You're just upset because the north struck again! We won the war and we can even beat southerners in our sleep!" Emmett boomed. If he kept this up, he would wake up Oren!

"Emmett, shut up," Jasper and I sighed in unison.

We left the game room and headed toward the room Bella and I shared. When we got there, Emmett went straight through the door without knocking, as always. I turned to Jasper to ask him a favor. "Could you hold Oren out here for a minute?"

"Sure," he replied skeptically.

I handed Oren to Jasper and grabbed the beautifully wrapped present I had propped against the wall next to my door after I had completed my secret mission.

When I walked into the room, I thought I had entered _The Twilight Zone_. There was pink everywhere. Alice had defiled our room!

"What happened to this place?" I asked in a gasp. When I looked around the room, I finally deciphered one pink object from the next. My gold comforter was replaced with a furry pink one and there was sheer pink fabric covering every lamp in the room. In front of the television were hot-pink fleece blankets, spread out. Speaking of spread out, my sweet Bella was sprawled across one of them with a bottle of Arbor Mist in her hand.

"Hi, honey," she smiled a drunken smile, before taking another swig from the bottle. Rosalie had corrupted my Bella! I knew she had drunk before—like when we made Oren—but she never really let herself get drunk because of Renée.

"Hello, my sweet little Eddie!" my mother cooed from the blanket next to Bella's, with a bottle of chardonnay in her hand.

"Mom?!" Emmett yelled, when he finally un-froze from the shock.

"What is it, my little teddy bear?" Elizabeth asked, still sounding like she was cooing.

"You're…Why are you…Who the hell got you drunk?" Emmett asked with a stutter.

"This isn't the first time I've been drunk, cuddle bear," mother smiled.

"They're all drunk," Rosalie laughed, as she appeared in the doorway of my bathroom. "Except for me that is. I'm the sober one for once!"

"What's going on in—" Jasper started to ask before his jaw dropped when he entered the room.

"Your girlfriend happened," I almost growled. "I'll take Oren back now." I set the box down on the floor and took Oren from Jasper.

"What's that?" Rosalie asked, tilting her head toward the box.

"It's something that Bella and I wanted to give you," I smirked.

"Really?" Rosalie asked in surprise.

"Yep," I replied, listening to some different female giggles that were coming from my bathroom. I set Oren down in the bassinette before walking around Rosalie and into my bathroom. Alice was twirling around, grabbing different brushes and makeup before then applying them to Esme, who was also getting her hair done by Gwendolyn. All I could think was: W_hat the hell happened to the women in my family_?

"Why did you get me an ignition module?" Rosalie asked, holding the little part in her hands. "My car runs fine; I don't need a new one."

"That isn't a new one, Rosalie. It's the one out of your car. Have fun re-installing it!" I smiled, before ducking out of her reach.

"You are _so_ lucky that there is a sleeping infant in the other room," Rosalie spat. She slowly walked toward me looking like she may pounce and eat me alive. I don't care what people say; girls can be much scarier than most guys.

"Honey, come cuddle with me," Bella whined from the blanket. I made my quick escape from Rosalie and when I walked over to the blanket Bella was on. Esme, Alice, and Gwen had joined my mother and Bella. I didn't lie down with Bella I just looked at her in disbelief.

"Jazzy!" Alice chirped. "Jazzy, take me to bed!"

"_Sure_," Emmett joked. "The girls got to drink while we only got to play video games!"

"Damn straight, homey," Gwendolyn laughed, before falling over. _Dear Lord_, I thought, _my godmother just tried to talk like a gangster_.

"Okay, that's enough," I yelled as loud as I could without waking Oren. "Everyone but Bella and Oren get out!"

"You might want to call dad and Carlisle for help, Edward," Jasper laughed, as he swept Alice up in his arms. He did have a point.

"Alright, Rosie, let's get you pregnant," Emmett smirked, before sweeping Rosalie up in his arms and kissing her. That was _way_ too much information.

"Bella, get into that bed," I instructed. I pulled out my phone and called Carlisle and my father back to back. They laughed and told me that they had been expecting a call. Apparently the three harpies do this after every family event. It would explain why my mother always made a quick escape after Christmas dinner.

"Hello, angel," Edward Sr. smiled when he saw my mother. "It's time to head to bed."

"But we usually don't go to bed until two in the morning when my sister comes," my mother whined.

"Hey, sweet cheeks," Esme slurred when Carlisle walked into the room.

"Someone has been hitting the bottle," Carlisle rolled his eyes.

"That's an understatement," I muttered, helping Gwendolyn stand up. "Who is taking this one to her room?"

"You are," Edward Sr. and Carlisle said in unison.

"We have carried that woman enough times that you can do it," Carlisle smiled, as he put Esme's arm around his shoulders so he could make sure she stayed upright.

"I don't really want to leave Bella alone in her current state. Especially with Oren in the room," I said.

"Fine then. Go wake up one of the workers," dad sighed, as he swept my mother up and walked out of the room.

"See you later, Edward," Carlisle smiled, as he left the room with Esme. Gwen was passed out on my sofa…Still holding a bottle of alcohol. I decided to just leave her there because I really didn't want to wake anyone up. It would be rude to ruin someone's sleep just to drag a drunk to her room. plus, who knows if they will be able to fall back asleep.

I went to the bathroom and got ready for bed. Bella was unconscious when I finally got into bed. Oren woke up a few hours after I had gone to sleep. It wouldn't have mattered if I could wake Bella up because she drank and wasn't allowed to feed Oren for twenty-four hours after she stopped.

Oren went back to sleep after he had his bottle while Gwendolyn was still sprawled out on my couch when I drifted back to sleep. Sometime during the night, Oren ended up in bed with Bella and me.

When I woke up in the morning, I noticed that Bella was no longer in bed and Gwen was no longer on the couch; Oren however was still next to me. He was wide awake and staring at me. I heard an odd noise from the bathroom and figured out where Bella was. I moved Oren and rolled out of bed and then grabbed him once I was standing. We had a playpen set up next to the couch while the bassinette was next to the bed. I placed Oren into the playpen with his favorite rattle. He was almost ready to roll over on his own. I looked down at the little guy before heading toward the bathroom.

"Bella?" I asked through the door. The only reply I got was a groan. When I opened the door I noticed Bella resting her face on the toilet seat and Gwendolyn resting her head on the edge of the bathtub.

"Edward," Bella moaned, "never let your mother talk me into letting her join a party again."

"Eddie, could you go get me some Tylenol?" Gwendolyn asked.

"Gwen, I am calling a butler to come and get you," I sighed. "Bella, I'll check the mini-fridge for an icepack."

"You have a mini-fridge?" Bella muttered, with her voice slightly echoing out of the toilet.

"Yes. It's a hidden fridge and it's ours," I answered, before leaving the room. I peeked toward Oren and saw that he was on his stomach. He had been on his back when I left the room. "Bella! Bella, Oren rolled over on his own!"

"Real—" Bella squealed in delight, before she was cut off by vomit.

I grabbed my phone and called for a butler to come grab Gwendolyn and went to the fridge for an icepack. I also grabbed a bottle of Pepto-Bismol from the cabinet over the sink. Once Bella had her icepack and her sticky pink nausea medicine, I put Oren's bouncy seat in the bathroom with us. Oren was bouncing away while I rubbed Bella's back.

We sat like that for at least five minutes before there was a knock at the door. "That's my ride," Gwendolyn muttered, as she slowly stood up. The butler had a bucket ready for her as he helped her out of the room.

"Have a fun hangover, Gwen," I chuckled, as she left.

I continued to rub Bella's back until I finally moved her to the bed. She had stopped throwing up but said she still felt sick. Oren had fallen back asleep and was cuddling with Bella. I decided to do something highly dangerous—but too cute to pass up. I pulled out my camera from the drawer and snapped a picture of them. I moved behind Bella so she was between Oren and me. That felt so nice, our little family lying together.

"Bella, we have to go down to breakfast," I whispered in her ear.

"I'm not eating so I'm not going," Bella muttered, as she snuggled Oren even more.

"Bella," I sighed. "You know how my family works. In about five minutes Emmett will bust through that door and ask us to get up so he can have breakfast. My mother won't let anyone eat until we are all at the table."

"She probably has a hangover, too," Bella yawned. "She won't even be able to sit through a breakfast."

Emmett burst through the door earlier than usual. "Edward, Bella, I want to eat! Hurry up so I can eat!" Emmett then left the room as fast as he had entered it.

"See, I told you," I whispered sweetly into Bella's ear.

"Bite me," she replied, then reached back and smacked my leg. I moved my lips to the side of her throat and gave it a small kiss.

"Are you ready for your bite?" I asked with a smile.

"Stop, Edward," she instructed. "You wouldn't like that, at least not yet. We can do that biting thing after the wedding."

**Author's note;**

**I am only a few minutes after Monday! I tried to have it ready on time but I just didn't make my deadline. I had a really bad weekend with my family. I learned that my mother turns a rare shade of red when I call her a fucking moron. Oh the joys of fighting with my family. My sisters stole my things. Someone asked me if I was dead, my eldest sister forced me out of the house after I yelled that at my mother. We went shopping for the things my mother refused to buy for the bridal shower. Why in the hell would a person refuse to buy plastic cups for a party? My eldest sister also kicked me out of my bed for the weekend and her kid puked all over it. I love those kids but I had a bad weekend with them. **

**By the way I have three sisters. **

**Oh, I went to the eye doctor today. I ordered an awesome new pair of glasses! The speed helped me relax. I love going eighty-five miles an hour!** **The appointment was in stillwater though so it was a fourty-five minute drive. It was that long and I was speeding the whole way. In case you have seen the movie "Juno" it's the same stillwater where Juno's step-mother Bren bought the urn that Juno pukes in. **


	14. A Real Man

**Disclaimer: If I owned it I wouldn't need to write this. **

**Thanks to E.C. Cullen for pointing out all of my typos. Thanks to Lizbre and my cookie sisters! I love you guys!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Fourteen, A Real Man_

_BPOV_

"Welcome back, Bella," Angela smiled. We started walking toward our first class of the day. It was refreshing to be back on campus. I missed Oren and Edward but I never realized how much I liked school until I took a semester of internet courses. I tried to make my classes all fit into two days that way Oren would only have to be in daycare for two days. Edward had been trying to convince me to send him three days a week so I could have a day to myself but I hadn't agreed…yet.

"I missed spending time with you, Angela," I smiled. "Did I tell you that Oren is sitting up now?" After he had rolled over by himself after Christmas, he had started doing a lot of new things; he was turning into a miniature version of his father.

"No, I can't believe how big he is now," Angela said, as we walked into our classroom.

"I can't wait until he learns to crawl," I said excitedly. "I just hope he doesn't get into to many things. We have to start baby-proofing practically everything."

"How many times do you think Edward is going to try to open a cabinet and get mad that it won't open?" Angela asked in a laugh.

"More times than I care to count," I laughed in return. When I looked around the room, I noticed that the only two open seats were next to the creep himself, Mike Newton. "Ah, crap," I muttered.

"I am _not_ sitting by the vile one," Angela whispered.

"You should because he hits on me more than you!" I whispered fervently. Angela pushed me into the row of chairs before her so that I would have to sit closest to Mike. Instead of sitting in the chair next to Mike's, I sat down in the further one and made Angela walk around me. She reluctantly flopped into the seat between Mike and me.

"I _so_ hate you right now," Angela muttered, quiet enough that Mike couldn't hear. I pulled my laptop out of my bag and set it on my lap. I loved the thing! I turned it on and flipped the screen so that I could take notes with it. I wasn't the fastest typer so I was happy that Edward's parents had bought me a tablet laptop. When I looked over, I saw both Mike and Angela staring at me with their jaws dropped.

"What?" I asked.

"You are starting to get spoiled!" Angela giggled. "That fiancé of yours likes to shower his baby momma!" She had no idea how much Edward had been spoiling me, just wait until I tell her about the car. I was really starting to get used to the thought of Edward being my fiancé, I even had started calling him that!

"Edward didn't buy me this, Angela," I defended.

"If I were this Edward," Mike interrupted, "you would get more than just a laptop." Everyone knew that Mike had as much money as any other college student. The only job he had was at his parents' store in the summer. He did, however, have an old laptop that he pulled out of his bag. He never noticed that when he pulled out his laptop, you could always see his hidden compartment in it.

"I have gotten more than the laptop," I smiled to Angela, completely ignoring Mike.

"Yes, you have!" Angela said, wiggling her eyebrows at me. "You get to sleep with that sexy man!"

"Yes, I do! And I have proof in the form of his baby," I smiled. The thought of Oren made me feel a twinge of guilt. I hated leaving him in a daycare but I did spend time with him there so he would get used to it.

Class started and we had to stop talking…but then the emails started.

_Hey Bella, _

_I was wondering if you wanted to study tonight._

_Yours always,_

_Mike_

I had to suppress a gag when I read it. How did the vile one get my email address?

_Mike,_

_I am trying to take notes. I can't study with you; I have to go home after school and spend time with my fiancé and our baby. I'm trying to pay attention and I suggest you do the same._

_Bella_

I hoped that would stop him from sending anymore emails because I really needed to pay attention during the lecture; Edward hadn't taken the course so he wouldn't have been much help with it.

_Bella, _

_Are you sure you can't study? You could bring your baby over to my place with you. I am sure he could use a real man's presence. _

_Mike_

He was taking these emails _way_ too far. Plus, he was only as manly as the Hilary Duff CD he hid in his bag. Angela was trying her hardest not to laugh at my face, which I'm sure looked too annoyed for words.

_Mike, _

_Stop sending me emails right now. Please pay attention to what the teacher is saying! Edward is more of a man than you will ever know. My son isn't going near your place because I don't know if you changed your last name from Jackson!_

_Royally Pissed,_

_Bella_

I quickly signed out of my email so it would stop telling me about Mike's stupid emails. I looked over at Mike after I had sent the message and saw his face turn white. I inwardly giggled at the thought of fighting my own battles. Edward had been so protective ever since we had been "together" that it was nice to handle a creep on my own.

I didn't get any other emails for the remainder of the class. After the class, however, was different. I had packed my things back into my bag and started to walk out of the classroom when Mike grabbed my arm. I quickly shrugged out of his grip and tried to give him a polite smile.

"What is it, Mike?" I asked.

"If you don't want to study, do you want to do something else tonight?" Mike asked, obviously trying to sound sexy but failing miserably.

"I really don't want to study. I do want to do something else…I want to go home and make dinner for my fiancé and take care of my son," I smiled in victory.

"He makes you cook him dinner?" Mike scoffed.

"No, I like to make him dinner," I said, finally showing my annoyance.

"Bella?" Angela called from behind me, while she rested her hand on my shoulder. "We are going to be late to meet the girls for lunch."

"You're right!" I smiled and turned toward her. We walked straight out of the room arm-in-arm and didn't even give Mike the privilege of a glance.

When we walked into the cafeteria I saw Julia and Harlow sitting at the table, talking with their hands. They were very animated when it came to certain topics; boys were usually the topic they really moved their arms for. I went to the counter and picked out something simple—a chicken sandwich and French fries. Angela picked out a salad and a slice of pizza. After that we went to sit at the table with the others.

"So," Harlow started. "I met this guy named Lucas and he is the dreamiest thing you could ever think of!"

"The dreamiest thing I could ever think of is Stuart Townsend in _The Queen of the Damned_. He makes one hot vampire!" Julia giggled.

"Hi," I said to them, letting them know that other people were listening to their crazy banter.

"Hi Bella, hi Angela," Julia said with a small wave.

"Speaking of dreamy guys, how is that hot man of yours, Bella?" Harlow prodded.

"Oren is fine," I laughed.

"So my little boyfriend is hanging on just fine in the treacherous world of baby blabber?" Julia asked. We had a joke about Oren having multiple girlfriends.

"Actually, he is trading you in for a younger model," I joked. "He has a little friend named Darla at daycare. Edward is planning their wedding already!"

"A man planning a wedding!" All three of the ladies at the table sighed.

"You have no idea," I smiled. "You all know how much I hate planning parties. Well, Edward wants to help plan the wedding!"

"Can I have him?" Harlow asked with a desperate voice.

"Calm down. No, you can't have him. He is mine," I smiled.

"I wouldn't mind being yours," Mike said, as he sat down at our table.

"Shoo fly," Harlow smirked, waving her hand toward Mike. He stood up and walked away, grumbling to himself. Harlow looked sweet and mostly talked sweet but no one messed with her.

Lunch passed quickly with the girls. They always knew how to take your mind off of the crazy stuff that clouded your mind. The rest of my classes were Mike-free so that helped me concentrate. By the end of my last class, I was ready to jump out of the classroom and speed the whole way home. I missed Oren and Edward enough that I was considering speeding. When the class finally finished, I ran the fastest I dared out to my new car. Edward had made me take the convertible because he had to bring Oren with him when he went to work.

When I reached the parking lot, I let out a loud groan. Edward had picked out an ostentatious car and I was paying for it. There were about six or seven boys surrounding my car. They were all touching it and looking at it like they would a hot girl.

"Excuse me," I said, politely trying to get the boys to leave my fiancé's newest toy alone.

"_You_ own this?" one of the guys scoffed.

"Yes," I smiled. "And my fiancé owns a matching one. Now please move."

"I guess you really are getting spoiled," Mike snickered, leaning against my car.

"He took Christmas a little far this year," I sighed, as I opened the driver's door.

"What happened to _us_?" Mike asked.

"There was never an _us. _There was Edward and me and then on a whole different plain there was you," I said, a little too harshly.

"Why are you denying your love for me? I don't deny mine for you," Mike smiled.

"I need to go see Oren and you need to move," I almost yelled. Mike moved away from the car and I quickly turned it on and slammed it into reverse. I drove a little over the speed limit the whole way home. There was no way I could tell Edward about what happened with Mike. Knowing Edward he would over-react and lose his temper. I really didn't need my fiancé and the father of my son in jail for murder.

When I pulled into the underground parking for our building, I saw Edward's car parked in his spot. The minute I parked, I was up the stairs, thankfully not falling. Edward looked happy when he saw me burst through the door. He looked as amazing as ever, his emerald eyes gleaming in the evening light coming through the living room windows. I loved the way his bronze hair moved when he would move his head. I was granted one of his sexy smirks as he walked toward me.

"Hey," I smiled in relief.

"What has you so worked up?" Edward asked with concern, as he gently moved my chin up so he could look into my eyes easier.

"I missed my men," I sighed.

"I could tell that part," Edward laughed. "But what else is bugging you?"

"Just some stupid school drama," I said, trying to end the questions. I moved away from the door and set my bag on the bench near the door before kicking off my shoes.

"Please tell me, Bella," Edward pleaded, as he bent down to kiss the top of my head.

"Are you trying to dazzle it out of me?" I asked playfully.

"Possibly," he laughed. "Please, Bella. If you can't tell your future husband, who can you tell?"

I sighed, giving in. "Do you remember your graduation trip?" I asked.

"Of course I do! You went into labor on that trip!"

"Do you remember the guy that recognized me that I went to school with?" I asked. A look of realization covered Edward's face before it turned to anger.

"I guess I should meet you at school one day and have a word with this moron," Edward said, holding back his temper.

"It's okay, I will take care of this," I said reassuringly.

"You shouldn't have to, Bella," Edward sighed.

"Cool down," I instructed. "I am going to go see Oren and then start dinner." I touched Edward's cheek gently as I looked into his eyes. He put his hand over mine and closed his eyes.

"A single touch from you could calm down a sea. Thank you," Edward sighed.

"No problem, it's what a good _wife_ does," I laughed, knowing how much Edward liked to hear about me being his wife. Soon it would be true.

"I _will_ have a talk with this person, though; no one should interfere with your learning."

_Oh great_! I thought, _My fiancé is going to do something to get himself locked up_!

**Author's note;**

**Hello, thankfully it hasn't been too bad of a week. My fingers and tongue did go numb on Monday and Tuesday though. I was forced to stuff and lick wedding invites. I helped my other sister move last night and got home at one-thirty this morning. Minor stress instead of the big stuff and not having the big stuff helps me write faster! WooHoo! **


	15. When the Whore Comes Marching In

**Disclaimer: As usual I don't own a thing. Not even Lucas! To the owner of Lucas I say, don't give him to Harlow or Katie! I want him! **

**This isn't edited yet when it gets edited I will replace it. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Fifteen, When the Whore Comes Marching In_

_BPOV_

There was only thirty minutes until D-Day. Edward was bringing Oren with him to the campus. We were supposed to have lunch together. I had a strong feeling that Edward was going to use his time on campus to get his hands around Mike's scrawny neck.

"What am I going to do, Angela?" I asked in a whisper during class. Mike was staring at me from the other side of the classroom and it made me want to scream. He had been getting worse lately and I made sure that I was always with one of the girls. It's not like he was a stalker or anything like that. He was just shamelessly flirting with me and didn't understand that I didn't like him. Mike was like a horny puppy that wouldn't back off.

"Just stay calm and enjoy your man," Angela smiled quietly. "Like I will enjoy my man, I'll save a few minutes for my sweet Oren though!" The girls were utterly obsessed with Oren. Pretty much the only things they asked me about were Alice, Oren, Edward, and other random men who they thought looked hot.

"I really miss spending all my time with them. It's odd not being there when Edward gets home or not spending my day with Oren. I just want to be with them as much as I can, Edward is like a drug and I am utterly addicted!" I said a little too loudly, because a few people turned and shushed me.

"The lecture is almost over after that you can spend time with your lover," Angela giggled quietly. I actually paid attention to the rest of the lecture. Angela turned her attention over to the professor as well.

Once class was finished I dragged Angela out of the room. I hopped that Mike wouldn't see me and try to talk or follow me. When I walked to the front of the cafeteria building I saw Edward holding Oren against his chest. I immediately let go of Angela and walked as quickly as I could toward my two favorite people in the world.

"Hi honey," I smiled, as I hugged Edward Oren the best I could.

"Hello love," Edward almost sighed, as he wrapped his free arm around me. "How has your day been?" he asked before giving me a quick kiss.

"Fine, Angela and I got shushed in class," I laughed. Edward gave me a disapproving look but it was _my_ decision if I wanted to talk in class. "Speaking of Angela…" I wandered of trying to see where Angela had run off to. I found her cuddling up to Ben in the lunch line. On very rare occasions their schedules would allow them to eat lunch together.

"Why did you find me right away after class? Didn't you want to put your bag down?" Edward asked.

"I wanted to see you before I did anything else, silly," I smiled playfully, as I took Oren out of his arms. I hadn't had a chance to pump yet and I felt like I might burst. "Let's hurry and get lunch so Oren can have his."

"Let's get lunch than," Edward laughed. We hurried through the food line and made a pit stop at my normal table.

"Harlow?" I asked, trying to get her to stop kissing her new boyfriend Lucas for a few minutes. "Harlow?"

"What?" she asked in shock.

"Your other boyfriend is here to see you," I laughed. Lucas gave Edward a look but he realized that I wasn't talking about him when Harlow started to play with Oren. I noticed that Angela was just as wrapped up with Ben as Harlow had been with Lucas.

"Julia, did you want to come have lunch with us in the mothers' room?" I asked. The college had a really nice area for mothers of small children. There were rooms to pump and a few small toys and a television and things like that.

"No thanks; I am going to finish eating and then head over to the library. It's better than watching these couples suffocate each other, and I don't want to intrude on your time with your man," Julia smiled politely. Her red hair had been swept up in a clip that day which made me wonder about that trip to the library.

"What's so important in the library? Are you cheating on Oren?" I faked a gasp.

"I might be thinking about it," Julia said shyly. "There is a really hot guy that works in there."

"You just don't want to see my chest," I laughed.

I made Edward follow me with the tray of food to the mothers' center. When we walked into the room there was only one other person in there, she was pumping and made no attempt to cover herself. Honestly, I don't blame her. Sometimes you just don't care who sees.

"Hey," I smiled to her. "How are you?"

"Tired," she laughed. "How old?" she asked motioning toward Oren.

"Almost six months," I beamed.

"He's a sweetie!"

"Thanks, I know yours isn't here but how old is your little one?" I asked.

"Eight months," she smiled brightly. "And a little hell raiser!" When I looked over to Edward I saw that he was getting uncomfortable and decided that we should make an escape to one of the side rooms.

"If I don't fed this little angel I am going to explode," I laughed. "Maybe I will see you again."

Once we were in the room I turned and kissed Edward Oren was still in my arms so we had to be careful not to squish him. Edward—as usual—wanted a passionate kiss but if it started down that path we would have some issues with Oren. I pulled away and flopped down on the glider chair. To my delight Oren didn't start crying with my flop instead he giggled.

"Are you hungry Bella?" Edward asked, as he set the tray on the little table that was next to the chair.

"Extremely, but first I need to relieve some pressure from the bombs attached to my chest," I explained, as I shifted Oren to a better feeding position. He started eating as soon as he could and all I could do was sigh in relief.

"Now that you have that started, what would you like to eat?" Edward asked, as he swept his arm above the food tray.

"That piece of pizza looks divine," I smiled. "So your work didn't mind you cutting out of work?"

"Bella, it's Friday. Half of the staff escapes the office at the first opening," Edward sighed.

The rest of our lunch was rather uneventful, we talked about new things Oren was doing and work or school related topics. After we had finished eating I had started walking out the door when Edward caught my arm.

"I have a class soon, Edward. No afternoon fun for you," I laughed.

"Bella, I was thinking maybe I could sit in on one of your classes," Edward smiled meekly.

"Edward, you can't bring Oren into a class."

"Didn't you mention a daycare that was on campus?" Edward asked with a sneaky look in his eye. That's when his plan finally made sense.

"This is to get near Mike, isn't it?" I asked folding my arms in front of my chest. In Oren's usual timing he started giggling and wiggling in Edward's arms. He wanted his mommy.

"No, this is me wanting to watch you learn. _If_ we happen to run into the Mike than I will have a chance to have a few words with him," Edward chuckled.

"If you really want to go to class with me we have to hurry. Oren needs to get signed into the daycare," I sighed in defeat.

"Just show me the way," Edward smiled brightly.

It didn't take as long as I thought to check Oren into the daycare as I thought it would. After Oren was all set at the daycare I reluctantly walked away. It was much harder to leave him there then I thought it would be.

"Now you know how I feel every time I have to drop him off," Edward whispered in my ear, as he wrapped his arm around my waist. I rested my head on his shoulder as we walked through the halls toward my next class.

"How do you do it?" I asked.

"I have no idea," Edward laughed quietly.

We walked into the classroom early so it was practically empty. It was nice to be near Edward at school. I really wished we could have gone to college together. I knew that once class started he would be quite the distraction though. I noticed Edward stiffen beside me and tighten his grip around my shoulders. I had no idea why he would act so strange just because he was in class with me. I followed his gaze and toward the door and realized why he was acting the way he was.

"Who is she?" I asked trying to sound indifferent. I really didn't like the way he was acting over some blonde that walked through the door.

"It's just one of Rosalie's sorority sisters," Edward whispered uncomfortably. "She must have transferred."

"The way your acting is making me nervous, Edward," I whispered feeling upset.

"Hey Eddie," the dumb blonde intruded. No one called Edward Eddie but Emmett and me! And the only time we did that was when we were making fun of him! "What brings you here?"

Edward scooted a little farther toward me and tightened his grip on me even more. If he didn't stop soon I would have had a bruise. It helped me to know that he was showing the girl we were together. I mean who was this girl and why did she make Edward so uncomfortable?

"I decided to sit in on one of my fiancée's classes," Edward awkwardly smiled and I had noticed his emphasis on the word fiancée and it made me chuckle on the inside. It looked like Edward had a Mike Newton of his own.

"Oh," she said in shock. "So…Umm…How's Rosalie?"

"She's great," I interrupted. "Emmett and her are trying to have a baby! I am so happy that Edward and I got pregnant so easily!" in my head I added, a little too easily. I could almost see the little bimbo's eyes pop out of her head after I mentioned that we had a baby. All I wanted to tell her was, "get the fuck away from here!" Too bad I wouldn't be able to. I have a conscience.

"That's sweet," she smirked finally sounding like Rosalie used to—a complete and total bitch!

Class started mere seconds after she said that. Much to my dismay the skank sat in the seat next to Edward's. I noticed Edward scoot toward me until we were practically smushed together. It made it really hard to take notes. I tried my hardest to pay attention to the class but I kept glancing at the evil blonde and then Edward. When I noticed Edward's rare look of fear I wanted to scream.

"I'll kill her," I whispered quietly enough I wasn't even sure if Edward heard me.

"Oren needs you, Bells. Don't even think about it," Edward warned in a whisper.

Edward jumped suddenly and when I looked over at him I noticed _her_ hand being pried off of Edward's legs. Edward was very strong and he was still having trouble removing her hand. IF he would have let me help him she wouldn't have an arm.

"Oh, that's it!" I screamed, as I jumped up from my seat. Everyone in the room was gasping and staring at me. It wasn't everyday that a crazed brunette started screaming in the middle of class.

"Bella," Edward gasped.

"I am _so_ out of here," I yelled, then turned on my heel and stormed out of the room. I could feel Edward following me but I didn't turn to look at him. I just kept walking until I found a secluded area to talk to him. When I turned around to face him he stopped abruptly a few feet in front of me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Sorry for what, exactly?! I was only angry at the slut. Now I want to hear why you are sorry!" I spat.

"Umm…" Edward blushed. Oh, shit! Edward blushed! I braced myself for the worst.

"What the hell could be so bad, Edward?!"

"She is sort of my ex-girlfriend," Edward sighed apologetically.

"How could you have ever been with someone like that?!"

"It wasn't my idea to go out with her," Edward defended.

"But you did! And who is it that forced you to go out with her? Did they hold a gun to your head?" I yelled.

"It was my mother," Edward sighed once again he had been defeated. "She used to be a debutant and mom thought I would like her."

"How could she have _ever_ been a debutant? Debutants are supposed to be ladies and that, Edward, is no lady!" I hissed. "Please tell me you did not sleep with that hoe-bag!"

Edward's visible and audible gulp was a good enough answer for me. The answer brought tears to my eyes. I knew that I wasn't Edward's first and he knew that he wasn't mine but I never thought I would have to meet someone he slept with. "We had only dated for two months."

"You were only together for two months and you were having sex?!" something I had yelled caused Edward to start laughing.

"Bella," he laughed. "We weren't even together when we had sex the first time. We made a baby and we weren't even dating. If you really think about it she was just a stepping stone on my path to you."

"That's sweet but you are still in a lot of trouble!" I half sighed half yelled.

"I had a feeling you were going to say something like that," Edward smiled with sorrow.

"Get over here," I instructed in the sexiest voice I could manage. Edward closed the gap between us and he finally had a real smile on his face.

"I would do anything to make it up to you. It's not fair that you had to deal with her," Edward promised.

"You can start with a kiss, but first…" I looked in my bag and pulled out a napkin—a mother always has to be prepared—and wiped off his lips. Edward laughed freely before pulling me into a kiss. A nice, long, apologetic kiss.

When I pulled away he groaned. "The next thing that has to be done to fix this problem and prevent future situations like this is tell each other every person. That is going to be awkward but we need to," I said against his lips. That caused him to let out another groan.

"Whatever you say, love," Edward sighed.

"The last thing for now is you have to tell me how my kisses compare to the bimbo's," I giggled.

"Yours are a thousand times better. I'm not just saying it either," Edward chuckled, before dragging me into a kiss. We kissed so passionately that I ended up braced against a wall.

"Hey there, lovebirds," a wretched voice snickered from the shadows of the hallway.

**Author's note;**

**It's not much of a cliffy but it will do. So what do you all think of Edward's Ex?**

**Stress levels are back up! I have been slaving again and said slaving has caused my allergies to flare up so bad I was on a nebulizer (I have no idea how to spell that). I have used something for breathing almost daily since Sunday. I had to clean out a basement that had mold. That's my biggest allergy. Anyway, I was busy all weekend and I was moving one of the sisters and I just found out she is moving in with us for awhile as well as being dragged to another dress fitting next Saturday. I have worked way too hard on a wedding that isn't mine. **


	16. this is worse thAN shit on a shingle

Author's note;

For the past two nights I have been in the emergency room. I don't have much of the next chapter written but I feel so yucky. I had a few coughing asthma attacks this week they were bad enough that it screwed up my diaphragm muscle and I am having fake coughing asthma attacks. I am all drugged up with medication to calm the muscle. If you think my Cookie League stuff is crazy you wouldn't even want to know what it would be like now. I feel like a pin cushion. I think I have had seven shots in the past two days. More inhaler treatments than I care to count and some steroids. I have codeine cough syrup and Xanax. If you know anything about these meds you will know that I am long gone.

My sisters are still making me do some stuff for them. Like one left me with her kids for over an hour with me like this. The three year old thought it was funny to see where he could attach jaw hair clips to me. My soon to be brother in-law thinks he almost killed me by going into his basement where this all started.

My favorite sister screwed up her wrist…again. She called and talked about it. My brain only received half of what she said. My mother forced me to drive her to work this morning. I have been busting my ass helping people and now my body is rebelling against it. Apparently it doesn't like it when I push my limits. What am I supposed to do when no one will take care of themselves?

The only think I know to say is that I'm sorry I don't have anything better written. I am just sick and I don't know what to do. I don't want to go back to the ER. I don't want to be my childhood jack-ass' mother's pin cushion. That is my nickname for my childhood sweetheart. He is a dumb ass. I don't want to have to get more pills from the pharmacy. I don't want those things.

I would rather drug myself up and have a late chapter than end up back there and have an even latter chapter.

Forgive me and don't kill me. I know it's my fault for pushing my limits. I know that most of you want more reading material. I just can't do everything at once right now.

Thank you,

Hellopants

p.s. pills can be fun. I like Xanax! Lizbre you were so right about it being good stuff!

My cookie sisters have been great and so have Lizbre and EdwardCullensBuffy.

Thank you for the birthday present Lizbre! (You know I had to say it one more time!)


	17. Play Nicely

**This is not edited and I don't own squat. Sorry it took so long the explanation is in the A/N. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Sixteen, Play Nicely_

_BPOV_

"What do you want?" I asked feigning annoyance. I hated when she used that wicked witch of the west voice, it makes her sound utterly wretched.

"I just thought I would remind you that this is a school," Alice giggled. "So anyway, I figured since I had a long weekend at my school I would come for a nice little visit but I seem to have come at a bad time. I'm happy I sent Jazzy to your apartment instead of Edward's office."

"I'm sure my secretary would have loved to have Jasper within her reach," Edward teased. Alice replied by simply poking her tongue out at him.

"Now, now children," I joked in a motherly voice. "Play nicely."

"You two are playing nice enough for everyone in this school," Alice giggled. I hadn't realized what position we were in until she mentioned it. At one point Edward had pinned me to the wall and at another I had wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel the heat rising and this time it wasn't from Edward touching me.

"Alice, you can head back to the apartment we will catch-up with you later," Edward smiled crookedly, before turning his face back toward mine and placing a light kiss on my lips. I unlatched my legs and tried to free myself from his hold but Edward just chuckled and held me tighter.

"Okay, time to go get the baby," I said, trying to free myself from the awkward situation.

"I want to see my little god-baby so free Bella and let's go!" Alice smirked, before grabbing my arm yanking me from Edward's.

"Hey I wasn't finished with that!" Edward whined, before sweeping me into his arms.

"You can have plenty of time with her later," Alice smiled with an evil glint in her eyes.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" I asked skeptically.

"We are going out tonight!" Alice chirped loudly.

"I don't think Oren has hit the bar phase yet but thanks for the offer," Edward laughed.

"Don't worry about the baby, Prego and her giant bear are going to watch him," Alice smirked.

"Prego?" I asked. "Giant bear?"

"Why yes haven't you met Mrs. Rosalie Masen and Mr. Emmett I-am-as-big-as-a-bear Masen? They would love to help you in your time of abstinence due to having an infant and also request you do the same for them later," Alice said trying to keep a formal voice but you could hear her giggles behind it.

"We get to have sex!" Edward and I said excitedly at the same time.

"I mean, I am so happy for Rosalie and Emmett!" I added trying to sound as excited as I was for the last comment.

"You do realize that this means she will be due right after Oren's birthday right?" Edward laughed. "When we got pregnant you didn't find out until about now but they have been trying so their screaming bundle of happiness will be delivered shortly after the wedding."

"Did you say after the wedding?!" Alice screamed. Oh shit! We weren't going to tell her we were planning it yet for this reason. "Oh. My. God. You set a date! We have so much to do! I am going to be the best maid of honor there ever was! We are drinking _and_ planning tonight!"

"Alice, I breast feed Oren. Me drinking means a drunken baby," I said clearly.

"Pump extra, he can use the bottle tonight. Now, I have a southern man I need to go see so let's get out of this hallway grab the baby and get our butts back to your place!"

And that's exactly what we did. As soon as we walked through the door Emmett appeared and snatched Oren. Emmett ran off with Oren not only holding him but holding a brand new teddy bear for him too.

"I hope he gets over the spoiling before the baby comes," Rosalie laughed. "I don't think I could handle two children let alone two spoiled ones." I noticed that whatever Rosalie did she always kept a hand on her stomach as if the baby might disappear. It really wasn't fair that she lost the baby. It's just not right.

"You will have two spoiled kids no matter what you do. I can see mom and dad still giving Emmett toys when he is fifty," Edward laughed. I assume Alice and Jasper had run-off somewhere because I didn't see them when I looked around for Alice's smart-ass comment.

"So how far along are you Rosalie?" I asked.

"Umm…a little over a month. It happened right after Emmett talked about making a baby at Christmas," Rosalie giggled.

"So my brother actually knew what he was saying. That's shocking!" Edward outright laughed.

"Don't make fun of your brother, remember I still have to pay you back for the ignition module thing!" Rosalie threatened, pointing her long scarily sharpened finger at him.

"Rosalie, you had me buying Volvo thingies when he didn't even have the Volvo! And then you had him buy cars!" I yelled.

"Don't over react, Bella," Rosalie sighed. "Now I set up Alice's torture—whoops I mean beauty—supplies in your bathroom, it's time to get you ready!"

**I know it's short but I haven't even been able to think lately. I am still on most of those drugs. Turns out that not only was the coughing triggered the asthma it was also triggered by the muscle and stress. The fact that things have only gotten worse around my house isn't helping. I have taken the Xanax and a muscle relaxer and not been able to sleep because of my family. I had to baby-sit my sister and her two kids for a week. She was sick so they shipped them all up to our house and put them on the hide-a-bed. The baby got his diaper off and smeared poop in his crib. **

**One of my other sisters that I refer to as "Bridezilla" has moved in with us now. She is evil. I am so sick of her wedding and can't wait until it's over. The wedding is Saturday so not too much longer now. **

**My favorite sister was nice enough to take our sister's kids last weekend while the sick one was in the hospital. She knew I couldn't take it anymore. **

**Don't even get me started on the bacholorette party I had to go to last weekend. I hid out in the hotel room talking to Angelic Messenger17 on the phone. Other than that I sat with my favorite sister who was forced to go to the party too. **

**So now that you have heard all of that I would like to add that I am moving across country. I need to get away from them so I can get better. I am going to have the best roomy! LOL! I get to live with My-Bella! LOL! **

**sigh not too much longer until I am gone. **


	18. The Night of Nuts

**Disclaimer: Do I even have to say it? Okay, okay, I don't own them Stephenie does. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Seventeen, The Night of Nuts_

_BPOV_

I don't know how Alice did it but she got me into clothes that were about three sizes too small. We were sitting in a club and Edward had covered me with a jacket due to his usual protective tendencies. In all honesty I was glad he did. The club was filled with guys who were far too grabby and sleazy. Alice was having fun flirting and then signaling Jasper to show up and pick a fight with the guy in true southern fashion. It was rather entertaining.

"Oh, honey," Alice pretended to plea with Jasper. "Don't hurt him, he didn't know I was taken. It was an honest mistake and you know I would never betray my big, raging, cowboy."

The look on their latest prey's face was utterly priceless. The poor man looked like he was going to pee his pants when Jasper looked down at him. Jasper might not have been as big as Emmett but something about him made people feel just how he wanted them to. It was rather creepy.

"Desiree," Jasper said, using Alice's bar name. "I think you better let me have a little chat with this boy." At that precise moment their prey bolted for the door, leaving Alice, Jasper, Edward and I laughing hysterically.

"Well, Bubba, I think it's time we find some new fun," Alice smiled, as she grabbed Jasper by his shirt and dragged him behind her, leaving me with my amazing Edward. Jasper's bar name was a little over the top in my opinion.

"So," Edward started. "I think it's time to dance." Edward grabbed me by the waist and dragged me to the dance floor. If there hadn't been so many people, I would have literally been kicking and screaming.

"You know how much I hate dancing!" I whispered—well sort of whispered—no one would hear you in a club if you actually did. "I not only have two left feet, I have a butt that enjoys hitting the floor. There is no way I can do any dancing without hurting myself and what kind of mother goes out and comes back with a cast and a bruised butt?"

"My kind," Edward smiled. He grabbed my hips and started moving them with the rhythm. He just kept smiling while I kept scowling. I must admit I enjoyed moving my hips with his, but usually I liked it without the clothes.

"May I cut in?" Mike's awful voice asked from behind me. Oh no! Mike could not have been there. I had been trying to keep them far away from each other and here of all places, they finally meet. This was not going to be a good thing.

"Excuse me?" Edward asked.

"Can I dance with you, Bella?" Mike asked.

"I don't even want to dance, so I am just going to go sit down," I replied, as I took hold of Edward's hand, trying to pull him behind me.

"Who is he and why are we running?" Edward asked in my ear.

"Mike." The second after I said that, I felt Edward stop behind me and turn slightly.

"Are you kidding me?" Edward laughed. "This is Mike? The Mike from your school?"

"I go to school with that hot girl and I would like to dance with her, so why don't you let her go," Mike said bitterly.

"_I_ am holding _his_ hand, Mike," I said frankly. I started walking, pulling Edward behind me once again, but Mike seemed to find his way in front of us.

"Come on, Bells. Just one dance," Mike pleaded with his nasty breath blowing on my face. I felt Edward try to move me aside, but I stood my ground.

"What gives you the right to call me Bells? What makes you think I want you to even say my name?" I asked bitterly.

"Honey, I can take care of this," Edward whispered in my ear. "This moron would run from one little threat. You don't need to do anything. I don't want to see you hurt physically or emotionally."

"Don't worry about me," I replied quietly. "Mike, if you don't leave me alone I will be forced to unleash my motherly wrath on you."

"That motherly wrath sounds kind of kinky," Mike laughed, as he tried to grab my hand.

"Excuse me?!" I yelled. My gentle loving hand didn't meet his, it met his face. Okay, it might not have been so gentle.

"Bitch," Mike screamed. In that instance, the entire club went silent—even the music stopped. Edward looked like he might explode and that little vein in his forehead looked ready to burst out and start squirting angry, venomous blood.

"She is no dog and you will _not_ call her anything like that again," Edward spat. My eyes searched the room for Jasper so he could calm the situation but he was no where to be found.

"She fucking slapped me," Mike yelled.

"And you deserve much more than a slap you perverted little monster," Edward screamed. The people from the club made a circle around our little group and my anger turned to a blush and then back to anger.

"Edward, can I smash his nose into his pea brain?" Okay, so I might not usually be a violent person but Mike had taken things too far, and the little I knew about fighting was bubbling inside of me.

"Calm down, Bella," Edward smiled back at me before turning back to Mike with a ferocious look on his face.

"And then say you're sorry, Bella," Mike said with a little head swerve. What kind of man does a head swerve? That is such a girl thing that _I_ don't even do it.

"I will not say I'm sorry when I sure as hell don't feel sorry," I scowled.

"Mike, I suggest you leave before I have to do something rash," Edward threatened.

Instead of answering Edward's threat, Mike tried to take a swing at him. Edward ducked and Mike fell flat on his face. Edward stood over Mike laughing quietly. Then Mike rolled toward Edward's ankles and Edward did a little jump right over the top of Mike. Edward reached down and grabbed Mike's shirt, pulling him to a standing position. Every time I tried to speak and stop their fighting, the words seemed to stick in my throat, clogging my airways and making it hard to breath.

Our luck seemed to pursue us as the only punch Edward threw was the only punch the police that had entered saw. I could see the flashes of what was happening, but it took me time to figure out exactly what had happened.

The first flash was one of the bouncers pointing the police in our direction. The second was Mike being handcuffed. The third, Edward, and finally, I felt that cold metal on my own skin. How could this have happened? I saw a flash of me leaning against Edward's side in the back of a police car and then one of us being brought to a detainment cell. That cell already held the other member of our little fight.

"I really hated handcuffing the girl," I heard one of the officer's whisper, as I sat on the little bench inside the wretched smelling cell. Edward sat next to me and placed his cheek on the top of my head.

"The bouncer said she instigated it with a slap, though. We had to do it," another officer sighed. My father was not going to be happy when he heard about this. Having a baby was one thing and I might be older and on my own, but as a police chief's daughter getting arrested is one of the biggest disappointments there is.

"This is my fault," Edward whispered solemnly. "I should have just let Mike have his fun and kept avoiding him."

"I could have taken you," Mike said from the other side of the cell.

"Shut up, Mike," Edward and I yelled in unison.

"Does he ever stop?" Edward asked in disgust.

"Obviously not," I sighed. "Restraining order?" I asked.

"Yep," Edward smiled in success.

"We had a talk with your father, Bella, and you two are free to go," an officer said as he walked over to the cell. "Once you find a ride that is. Apparently your father wants you in there for a little while."

"My dad is an evil man," I whispered.

"Since he won't find you a ride, do you have anyone you would like me to call?" the officer asked.

"Alice Cullen," Edward sighed, dropping his head into his hands. I am sure he could just imagine the torture we would have to go through from this.

A few minutes later, the officer came back with a special shade of red covering his face. I assume that Alice talked his ear off.

"She's not coming," he mumbled.

"What?! Why isn't she coming?!" I asked in a scream. My former roommate was in as much trouble as my father.

"She answered the phone but I couldn't hear much," the officer's face turned from bright red to white. "There was a lot of moaning and someone named Bubba hung up the phone."

**Author's Note;**

**Hello, I am all moved! My roomie, My-Bella looked it over because she was sitting next to me and because I asked. LOL! So…I am doing well. I know this was a little short but take what you can get. I am working on finding a job and now I have been assigned the job of finding my cousin a southern girl to date. That won't be easy because he is still in Minnesota. Anyway, I am feeling better and getting things done slowly. I need to get more things done though so…I love you all!**

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants**

**P.S. My Cookie sisters rule the cookie world!**


	19. Borrowing More Than a Zoo

**Disclaimer: fill in the blanks "I don't--Edward or his--body"**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Eighteen, Borrowing More Than a Zoo _

_BPOV_

"Look, Oren, Mommy and Daddy are in a cage like the lions at the zoo," Rosalie cooed from the other side of the cell. I wished Alice would have picked us up. At least she wouldn't have brought Oren with her to see his parents behind bars. Holding cell or not, we were in fact behind bars.

"Just get us out, Rose," Edward grumped. I felt exactly as grumpy as he sounded. At least Mike's parents couldn't talk him out, so he was being forced to spend twenty-four hours in that little cell.

"Do you think they will let us feed the monkeys?" Emmett asked Rosalie with a laugh.

"I don't know, honey," Rosalie sighed. "They look like they might have rabies so you shouldn't put your hands near them."

"Aww, but Rosie, I brought the good bananas!" Emmett whined. So help me I was going to kill that big knuckle head!

"I don't want your banana, Emmett!" I yelled in frustration. "And I am sure as hell that Rosalie doesn't want me touching your banana either! Just get us out!"

"Bella," Rosalie gasped. "There are virgin ears present!" Rosalie put one hand to Oren's ear and the other to her stomach. "Emmett, I ran out of hands so cover your own ears."

"Very funny, Rose," Emmett said dryly.

"I thought so," she smiled innocently.

"Hello?!" Edward yelled. "It's time to get us out!"

"This may be a joke to you, but I really don't like my son seeing us in here," I spat.

"Bella," Emmett started with humor re-entering his voice. "I never thought you would have the guts to start a bar fight!"

"And now I have been behind bars and it's made me one tough cookie!" I yelled, reaching through the thick grey bars and grabbing his shirt. "Get. Me. Out."

"Okay," Emmett replied in utter shock with a hint of fear. He turned to the guards and signaled for them to let us out.

Mike sat pouting in his little cage without any company. Too bad I had my motherly wrath keeping me from feeling any remorse toward him.

Walking through the police station made me feel like I was doing some form of the walk of shame. It just felt wrong and like everyone was staring. The last feeling was true, of course, every one watched as a tall, amazingly beautiful woman walked through wearing an outfit made to make your baby bump look bigger. Then their eyes would turn to the giant bear of a man who could hurt you with his pinky, though he had much more fun using his whole fist. Their unworthy eyes would then look at my copper-haired, Greek God who held our tiny son. After they saw all that beauty, their eyes would fall upon the Ugly Betty of the bunch—the plain, brown-haired girl who would never stand out if she were with normal people. I, however, was with people who could easily be models, so blending in was out of the question. Even my son looked like he could be up on a diaper billboard. But for some strange loving reason they treated me like an equal. Edward always looked at me like I was more than just that plain girl.

I was more than happy when we reached the doors to the station and were free of the looks and glances. The ride back was proving to be an extremely quiet one. After my little outburst at Emmett, no one wanted to mess with me. For that I was grateful!

"How is my little prince tonight?" I asked Oren sweetly. I was sitting next to his car seat in Emmett's new car. It was a mix of mini-van and SUV. Of course Rosalie wouldn't give up her car to drive the baby in something like a mini-van.

The silence continued while I watched my sleeping angel. I kept stealing small glances at Edward who apparently was doing the same thing as me. I loved our family moments.

"I'm hungry," Emmett blurted out. "Do you convicts want anything?" Rosalie cleared her throat after Emmett had asked us. "And of course, my lovely, amazing, beautiful, spectacular, pregnant wife, would you like anything?" There was a pause where Rosalie glared at Emmett without flinching. "Honestly, Rosalie, _anything_. Your wish is my command."

"I wish my husband wasn't such a moron," Rosalie glared before bursting into a fit of laughter. Oh yeah, she was pregnant! Her hormones were flaring up worse than the sun.

"Just get the food, Emmett," Edward sulked. He was still whiney about getting put in a holding cell without even getting to really hurt Mike. To be honest, a small part of me wished that Mike would have learned his lesson when we ran into each other at the water park.

Emmett pulled into the parking lot for Burger King and proceeded to the drive through while Edward sulked and Rosalie fumed. I on the other hand was starting to calm down and normal out.

"So what does everyone want?" Emmett asked.

"I'll take a whopper meal," Edward said quickly.

"Could I please get a chicken sandwich?" I asked. Why I would ask was beyond me, but the polite part of me was showing through.

"Nah," Emmett laughed. "You can get a steak burger!"

"Emmett, Get her the damn sandwich!" Rosalie yelled. There was no doubt that she was pregnant.

"Umm…" a voice drifted from the speaker. "Can I take your order?"

"We want one chicken sandwich meal for my shy, soon-to-be sister in-law. A whopper meal for my wimpy brother who can't properly beat sleazy guys who hit on my shy soon-to-be sister in-law. What did you want Rosie?" Emmett asked.

"I want some chicken fries," Rosalie smiled. "And one of those chocolate pie things."

"Okay, so we need chicken fries and a chocolate pie, for my sweet pregnant wife," Emmett smiled as he said pregnant. "And I would like…"

"I'm not done, honey," Rosalie sighed, looking into Emmett's eyes. "I need onion rings, a steakhouse sandwich, and a garden salad."

"Did you hear all that, man-who-lives-in-the-speaker?" Emmett asked.

"Umm…yes," the voice cowered. "Would you like anything else?"

"Yeah, could I get a Triple Whopper meal with cheese, and instead of a pop could I get an Oreo shake?"

"Emmett Masen!" Rosalie screamed. "Do you want to give yourself a heart attack?! Don't you want to be there for our child?! You will not get that heart-attack on a bun! If you love our child, you will get a veggie burger!"

"But…but…Rosie," Emmett whined. "I am a man. I need meat! Can't I at least get a whopper?"

"Nope," Rosalie said, popping the 'p'.

"Oh, come on, Sweetie…please?" Emmett asked with the best puppy dog eyes he could manage.

"Okay…" Rosalie smirked. "You can have a Whopper Jr."

"Oh, thank you!" Emmett beamed. "Okay, speaker dude, I need you to take the Triple Whopper thing off and switch it with a Whopper Jr. meal!"

"Umm…" I tuned out the rest of the world the second I heard Oren start to fuss. I finally had him calmed down when the smell of French fries wafted across his nose. I had just realized that we were already leaving the Burger King parking lot and that Rosalie was already digging into the food.

"Close that damn bag, Rosalie!" I half-whispered, half-yelled. "The smell of the food is waking him up!" Just as Rosalie turned to look at me, Oren started screaming. "Thanks, Rose," I said sarcastically.

"What did I do?" Rosalie asked through a mouth full of food.

"Where is his diaper bag so I can get him a bottle?" I asked.

"Whoops," Emmett muttered.

"Emmett, where is my kid's diaper bag?" Edward asked with a bite in his voice.

"If my guess is right, I would say that it's still at your apartment," Rosalie fake smiled. "Nobody is going to look if you just feed him now. You don't need a bottle when you have a boob."

"Except for when you have had alcohol! I can't feed him if I have been drinking!" I started to yell at Rosalie, making Oren cry louder.

Oren suddenly went silent, which scared me more than his screaming. I slowly looked back to his car seat to see him sucking on a French fry. He had a huge smile on his face as he gummed the fry to mush, making cute little "mmm" noises.

"Edward, I don't know if he should be eating it, but thank you," I smiled, as I reached over the car seat to grab his hand.

"At least I can do one thing right tonight," Edward sulked. "I got you in trouble and I ruined the whole night."

"Edward, just stop," I scowled. "I shouldn't have hit him. I started the fight."

"Will both of you just shut-up?" Emmett asked.

We listened to him and rode in the back of his car in silence. Every once in awhile, Oren would start to fuss and we would give him another French fry. When we got to the parking lot, Emmett and Rosalie put huge grins on their faces and turned to look at Edward and I, which made me very nervous. Edward had noticed their faces as well and turned his head to look at me with fear in his eyes.

"How much do you love us?" Rosalie asked with a sickeningly sweet grin.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

"How much do you two want some 'alone' time?" Emmett asked while he wiggled his eyebrows. I am sure the huge cheesy grins plastered across our faces answered Emmett's question. Having an infant puts a big damper on your sex life.

"So maybe…since we didn't get to spend much time alone with Oren…can we borrow your baby for the weekend?" Rosalie asked at a speed only Alice could top.

"You want to _borrow_ our _baby_?!" I yelled. "What the hell?!"

"Calm down, Bella. You're upsetting Oren," Edward said calmly. "Emmett, I don't trust you with anything I own."

"I know, I remember when I broke all your toys and told mom you did it!" Emmett laughed.

"But my baby is different," Edward started. "I would trust you to watch my back so I trust you to do the same for him."

"Hey, what about me?" Rosalie asked rudely. "I want some kind words! I _am_ the only pregnant person in this car!"

"Rosalie," I started. "You can be an evil creature. I trust your motherly instincts, though."

"So is that a yes?" Emmett asked with longing in his voice.

"I suppose you two could use the practice," I laughed. "If Edward says it's okay, than you two can…I suppose it was bound to happen…I can't believe I am saying this, but you two can watch him for the weekend."

"Bella, it's just a weekend," Rosalie said reassuringly.

"Just wait until yours comes out! You won't want to take your eyes off of it for a second!" I defended. Just then, Oren looked at me and showed me his cute little smile. Edward may not like smiley faces, but Oren's smiling face was a whole different story.

"Everyone shut up and, Bella, come help me pack Oren a bag," Edward said, as he got out of the car and came to open my door. The man couldn't forget anything—he was still keeping his promise about opening doors for me that he made the day I told him about Oren.

We left Oren in the car as we headed upstairs to the apartment. Edward held my hand, trying to comfort me. I loved the thought of having some alone time with Edward, but hated the thought of being away from Oren. I kept thinking that he was too little to be away from me for more than a few hours.

"It'll be fine, honey," Edward smiled reassuringly, as he opened the apartment door.

We quickly went to Oren's room and started packing him a bag. My chest was starting to hurt from not being able to feed my baby, who was going away for a whole weekend.

"I need to go get milk from the freezer for my angel," I pouted, while I walked out of the room. It didn't take long before I had more than enough milk packed in a cooler for Oren. I sulked to the living room and sunk into the couch with the cooler bag in my lap.

"He'll be fine, Bella," Edward smiled. "My brother isn't going to let anything happen to Oren."

"I know," I sulked. "Did you finish packing the big diaper bag?"

"Of course."

"And you remembered his…"

"Enough, Bella," Edward started. "I packed everything and you know it will be okay."

"You shouldn't talk about when things are enough, you were arrested tonight!"

"I didn't even start the fight, you did!" Edward laughed. "Don't forget that you were cuffed too!"

"I know, and you wish you were the one with the cuffs," I joked.

"There is plenty of time for that talk this weekend. Right now, our little boy needs to go to sleep so let's go give them his bags and say goodbye."

**Author's note;**

**Hello, I bring the gift of an update. My head has been hurting so please be kind. I am trying. My twin has been on the phone with me constantly. Of course she isn't really my twin or the same age but she is totally my twin. Angelic Messenger17, you are an awesome sister! E.C. Cullen, get better soon please! Your cookie sisters miss you! Lizbre, I love you Cookie mom! You are super cool! Nothingleft, thanks for chatting with me while I have been sick! And last but certainly not least, My-Bella. I am totally sitting next to you right now! Thanks for everything you have done for me! Isn't that kid on the T.V. sad? He makes you want to take care of him and be a parent for him. Poor boy. **

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants**

**P.S. I love you all and want to thank you for your reviews!**


	20. Pretty Panties

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even the pretty panties I wrote about. I would if someone bought them for me though. **

**Warning: This is a funny sweet bedroom scene. There is sexual content. You have been warned. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Nineteen, Pretty Panties _

_BPOV_

"Hmm, I love you," I sighed, as a snuggled into Edward's arms on the couch. After Oren left, we both took showers to get the jail stench off of us. It was early in the morning by the time we finished our showers so we decided to take full advantage of being alone…We slept.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Edward smiled into my hair. "Did you sleep well?"

"Technically it's afternoon and yes, I did," I smiled up at him, before placing a kiss on his lips.

"So, what should we do today?" Edward asked.

"Stay right here," I said, as I moved so I could lie across the couch with my head resting on Edward's lap. I could get lost in his deep emerald eyes so easily.

"I think we should spend most of the day in bed but if you would rather sit on the couch and do nothing…" Edward trailed off and I knew just what he wanted to do.

"I don't know," I started teasingly. "I do love this couch."

"We could finally get to 'initiate' the couch," Edward hinted, while he stroked my hair. Sometimes the horny Frat boy that lived in the back of his mind took over his mouth.

"I suppose we could," I said innocently. Edward bent down to try to kiss me but I quickly moved and sat up on the couch. "We should show this couch what it's like…to be jumped on." I stood up on the couch and started jumping up and down while laughing. Between the look on Edward's face and the frustrated groan coming out of his mouth I just couldn't stop the laughter from bubbling out.

"That was just mean," Edward whined, before getting a devilish look in his eyes. That completely threw me off guard and one of my feet got stuck in-between the couch cushions causing me to start falling toward the floor and worse than that toward the coffee table.

I found myself cradled in Edward's arms right as I was supposed to collide with the coffee table. Okay, now I owed him big time. Edward moved me back so my head was once again resting on his lap. He started stroking my hair and touching my face softly.

"You still want to have sex, don't you?" I asked curtly.

"Undeniably," Edward replied in his sexy voice. Damn his sexy voice! "You know you want to, too."

"Obviously," I laughed. "I wouldn't have teased you if I didn't want to."

"I will remember that for next time you start teasing me." Edward moved his face down to mine and placed his lips on my forehead, then my cheek, and finally they rested on my lips, lingering and longing to stay that way. When the kiss finally broke, Edward moved my head and stood up. I looked at him strangely before he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. "I would have carried you bridal style but you teased me so you get the shoulder."

"I am your baby's mother and you have to be gentle, otherwise he will loose his main source of food," I laughed, as Edward dropped me onto the bed.

"He isn't here and they make baby formula if I get too rough," Edward laughed. "Not that I would get rough but you never know when life will bite you in the ass."

"You are not biting me!" I yelled and giggled at the same time. I crawled to the other side of the bed and Edward followed with a sneaky gleam in his eye. "Seriously, no biting." Edward grabbed my pajama pant leg and started pulling on it making my pants start to come off.

"I would never bite you, my sweet Bella," Edward said innocently.

"But what if after we are married things get dull and I ask you to?" I joked. Edward kept tugging on my pant leg and I decided he might as well have his way. We would be having sex no matter what happened. I grabbed the waistband of my pants and pulled them down to where his hand rested. "Are you happy now?"

"You know I did save you from hitting the table out there," Edward said with his crooked smile.

"Thank you," I replied. "But if I am pant-less so are you." I reached out and grabbed the waist of Edward's pants and he started to laugh, putting his hand over mine.

"Did you forget that I just saved you from a trip to the emergency room?" Edward asked, as he moved my hand away from him. "We have the weekend to ourselves and if I am not mistaken, a drawer full of things Alice bought for you. I think we can use the pretty panties today."

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," I laughed at Edward. "If I put the lingerie on, it won't be there for long so I might as well just get naked."

"I can live with that compromise," Edward smiled deviously.

"That's exactly what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Yep," Edward simply replied. He grabbed my ankle and pulled me closer to him. Before I knew it, our heads were right next to each other and Edward was grabbing the bottom of my shirt. I fought back by once again grabbing the waistband of his pants. I pulled his pants down a little before he started rolling toward me.

"If you try to play steamroller with me, we'll end up in the hospital anyway," I laughed, as I rolled away. Edward gently rolled over me and pinned my arms above my head. I stuck my tongue out at him and he put that perfect grin on his face. He started to kiss all over my face and down my neck with that grin on his face the entire time.

"Didn't you say something about getting naked?" Edward asked with a sly chuckle. I rolled my eyes at him but that didn't seem to help the situation. "We can either play pick and choose in the drawer over there or you can do what you said you would."

"Hmm," I sighed pretending to think about it. "Do what you will. You saved me Prince Charming style so it's your choice."

"I think we should try some of those tiny clothes out of the drawer," Edward smiled. "We paid for them so you have no excuse not to. It would be a waist of money if you didn't."

"Just go pick one out already," I laughed, pushing Edward away from me. Edward moved away from the bed and went to the dresser. I was left on the bed wearing a tank top and a pair of underwear, Edward, however still had his pajama shirt and pants on. He took his time sorting through the drawer that Alice had filled without us ever asking. The pixie could pick any lock that stood in her way.

"Found one," Edward smiled proudly, as he pulled a small white garment out and tossed it to me.

"Congrats, would you like a cookie for all your hard work?" I replied sarcastically, as I left the bed and went into the bathroom. It took me a few minutes to put the baby doll that Edward had picked out on because it had a few ribbons and ties. When I examined it in the mirror I saw my body returning to how it was before I had Oren. Slowly, I was losing the weight and in a few more months, I might look exactly how I did before. I was wrapped snuggly in the lingerie that resembled a fairy's outfit. White ribbons tied under the bust, and the bottom hem was pointed in multiple spots.

"Bella?" Edward asked slightly worried from the bedroom.

"What?" I asked coyly, as I finally entered the bedroom. "Did you want something?" I teased.

"Haven't we played enough games today, Bella?" Edward asked in a groan.

"You are the one who wanted me to put clothes on," I reminded him, as I did a little turn in the doorway.

"Okay, now I get to take them off of you," Edward said in a strained voice. If he wanted to act like a frat boy than I was going to act like a tormenting college girl.

"I have the sudden urge for a sandwich." With that I walked briskly into the kitchen and I could hear Edward slowly following.

"That's not even funny, Bella," Edward said almost pained.

"Would you like a sandwich, too?" I asked sickeningly sweet. "White or wheat bread?" I went to open the fridge but before I could, I found myself swung over Edward's shoulder for the second time today.

"You must really like my shoulder today," Edward joked, as I was once again carried to our bedroom.

Edward plopped me onto the bed and laid down next to me while pulling me to him. I decided that it was finally time to stop teasing. I found Edward's mouth before his even came close to mine. I propped myself up so I could hover above his face. Edward's lips moved like no others against mine, his tongue was the only one I ever wanted to caress mine. There was nothing like being with Edward.

Edward shifted before rolling so he could hover over me. My hands found the bottom hem of Edward's shirt and I pulled it over his head as swiftly as I could. We rolled once again so I was on top of Edward. I sat up so I was sitting on his legs like a champion.

"So, did Alice do a good job picking out these 'pretty panties'?" I asked in a laugh.

"First of all, never mention my cousin while we are having our 'mom and dad' time, and secondly, she did an amazing job picking it out," Edward smiled, as he started taking the small piece of clothing off of me. "I think you were right before, though, I like it better when you're naked."

"It's my mother's intuition," I laughed in a low voice. Edward finally removed the top part of the garment and left me sitting there in my underwear. I smiled down at him, loving the look he got on his face every time he saw me without clothing. It was like a little boy who was about to eat a piece of candy.

I moved from my position and slowly helped Edward out of his flannel pajama pants. Edward grabbed me gently and rolled us yet another time. Edward made quick work of my panties and we were finally where both of us wanted to be, in each others arms with nothing between us.

We resumed our kissing and it was filling with more lust by the second. Edward and I ran our hands over each other, trying to memorize every aspect of each other. When his hand grazed my chest, I gasped in pleasure and found myself grateful that I had left my nursing pads on. Edward might have gotten an unwanted shower if I hadn't. Edward slowly moved his face away from mine and peeled the silicon pads off of me. When he had finished, he placed a small kiss between my breasts.

I shouldn't have been in a hurry because Oren wasn't around, but part of me was so used to being quick about these things that I pulled Edward close and joined our hips in the most glorious way. We moved as one through the rises and falls and forced each other to the brink of ecstasy.

When our frenzy started to peek, I was happy that our timing had synced because we dove into the sweet seas together.

Edward and I laid in a lovers silence for an undetermined amount of time, enjoying the fact that we could hold each other without worrying about being interrupted. Even through all the distractions, I missed my son and wished that I could see his face and hold him close. Also, my boobs were starting to hurt from not being able to feed him.

**Author's note;**

**Hello, I am sorry it took so long. I hope that this was worth it. I made a new site for all things writing related. I am going to put a picture of the pretty panties up on there so don't forget to check it out. I also put some writing that is very different from the things I have posted here. The link for the site is on my page.**

**Lots of love to you all and to my cookie family. **


	21. Pretty Panties Lead to Smilies

**Disclaimer: Only the panties belong to me.**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty, Pretty Panties Lead to Smilies_

_BPOV_

We were walking through the movie theater lobby, waiting for the crowd around the concession stand to dwindle down. Harlow and her now boyfriend Lucas had suggested that we get a night away from the baby and act like people our age should. The past few weekends had been hectic. First we had the weekend that we ended up getting arrested; then we had a weekend where my dad decided he needed to talk with us about our behavior in his police officer voice. The next weekend was spent getting trapped in a thousand wedding dresses while Edward and Oren sat outside the dressing room laughing at my whining. Alice and the store clerk had strapped me into every dress in that store. Finally we had time without drama where we could be a couple and not just parents.

The crowd at the counter had finally cleared up so we started to walk over to it.

"I am so excited for movie theater popcorn! I have been wanting it since Harlow said she would watch Oren," I said excitedly.

"Trust me, I know. You haven't stopped talking about it," Edward laughed as he wrapped his arm around my waist. Before we could even get to the counter, a horrid smell drifted across my nose. It was the awful chemically, stinky, fake butter I had wanted all week.

"Oh, My God, Edward," I gasped, clutching my hand over my mouth. "I don't feel good." The second after I said that, I found myself running into the bathroom and removing the romantic dinner we had just enjoyed into the toilet bowl.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Danielle asked from outside the stall.

In some weird twist of fate, Danielle must have been at the movies, which probably meant Jacob was outside of the bathroom with Edward. This was just my luck. I was sick and everyone was going to know about it.

"I'm fine," I managed to get out between gags.

"Well, you sure as hell don't sound fine," Danielle chuckled. "So just how far along are you anyways?"

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked, slowly climbing up from the floor and leaning heavily on the stall door to look at her face.

"It seems you left one baby home and brought another along tonight," she smirked. Her eyes drifted down toward my stomach and it finally clicked.

Shit! Hell! Damn! What the fuck? No friggin' way! No! Not happening! There was no way this was happening to me! I was NOT pregnant. I refused to accept that.

A little old lady entered the bathroom at that moment. She glanced at Danielle and me before speaking. "You are positively glowing, deary," she said to me. "Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?"

"Shit!" I cursed out loud. "This is wrong! This is so wrong! Edward, get your ass in here now!"

"Um, Bella, this is the ladies' room," Danielle pointed out.

"I don't give a damn if it's the queen's castle! I want him in here now!"

The bathroom door squeaked open and Edward cautiously entered the room. "Bella, why did you want me in here? What's wrong? And am I going to get arrested again?"

Danielle was leaning against the wall near the stalls, laughing and pointing between Edward and me. "You guys didn't know! With as many pregnancies as my parents have had, I _always_ know. And you, my friends, are pregnant."

"What the hell? But…but…we hardly even…and the birth control!" He threw his hands up in the air, clearly frustrated. "How did this happen?"

"Well, you see, my fiancée decided that I should put on some pretty panties. Then, all hell broke loose and I decided I wanted a sandwich. Then, said fiancée tossed me over his shoulder and carried me back to bed for some fun. From there, I don't know," I yelled before returning to the toilet and emptying out the rest of dinner.

"Is everything okay in here?" Jacob asked, peeking his head through the door.

"Might as well join the party," I yelled in frustration as I stepped out of the stall again.

Jacob stumbled into the room, looking very afraid. "Why are you all in the ladies' room? More importantly, why is Edward in the ladies' room?"

At that point, a toilet flushed loudly and the little old lady surfaced. "Well hello, boys. Which one of you is the proud father?" the little old lady questioned.

"Danielle, is there something we need to talk about?" Jacob asked, his voice quivering with fear.

"Only if you want to talk about being an uncle," Danielle laughed. "Wait! Can the baby call him uncle, Bella?"

Jacob started laughing so hard, he keeled over and fell onto the floor.

"This is so not funny!" Edward yelled.

I stalked over to Jacob, still fighting the urge to regurgitate more of my meal, and kicked him hard in his thigh, thankfully keeping my balance. "Edward, out! We are going to the store," I ordered.

"Um...um…um…shit! Yes, honey," Edward stuttered.

In my haste to get to the nearest store, I stumbled and nearly fell in the parking lot. Edward tried to put his arm around my waist to steady me, but I slapped it away. "This is your fault," I yelled, pointing a finger at him. "You and those damn pretty panties!"

"Um…so, what store did you have in mind?" Edward squeaked out.

"One with pregnancy tests! I don't care! Just one with the test. Got it?" I screamed angrily.

"Okay," he replied in an abnormally high-pitched voice. In a soft whisper he added, "In my defense, you really did look good in those panties."

"Give me the damn keys!" I yelled. "You're not touching the steering wheel. And if you don't shut up, you won't even get in the damn car."

For the first time, in a very long time, I was speeding. I didn't care how fast as I was going, so long as I got to the store. This was not supposed to be happening right now. I was still in school! Hell, I just finally started going back to normal classes. And Oren wasn't even seven months old yet! How in the hell was I going to deal with two babies? I didn't even wait to find a regular store; I just stopped at the first gas station convenience store I could find.

I jumped out of the car and left Edward locked inside. I ran into the store, grabbed the first test I saw, and headed for the bathroom. As I ripped the box open, I realized life was trying to teach me some sort of lesson. This was the exact same type of test I had taken when I found out about Oren.

"Bella?" Edward called wearily from the other side of the door.

I sighed heavily and stalked over to the door, unlocking it and letting him in. "Are you ready for this?" I asked, showing him the stick. "Should we live blissfully ignorant? Or face the truth?"

"We usually find the truth works better, so pee on the stick, Bella."

"How about you pee on the stick? It's easier for you to aim anyway."

"That won't really tell us if we need two car seats."

"If I must," I sighed, giving up.

I struggled out of my clothes, peed on the damn stick, and then placed it on the counter so it could tell me my fate.

Edward and I slumped to the dirty, icky bathroom floor. Why not? It wasn't like sitting on a dirty floor could make things worse.

"I cannot believe this is happening," I groaned.

"You and me both, love," Edward replied.

"I don't understand. I'm on birth control."

"Were you on birth control when we made Oren?"

"Fuck! Um…yes. From now on, I think it would be best if we sort of…double…tripled…you know…the whole thing on birth control," I said, completely frustrated.

"As scared as I am of seeing that smiley face, if it is there, we won't have to worry about birth control for awhile."

"Shut up and go look at the stick," I demanded.

"You look at it! You know I hate smiley faces."

"You picked the pretty panties, you look at the stick. Those are the rules."

Edward reluctantly made his way over to the counter and covered the viewer part with his thumb before coming back to sit with me. "Ready?" he asked.

"No, but go ahead."

"One…two…three," he counted before lifting his thumb.

"Crap!" we yelled at the same time.

"Well, Edward, it looks like you're going to have more shitty diapers to deal with."

"Yeah, but I'll also get to enjoy your big boobs for longer."

I playfully slapped his chest, trying not to smile at his teasing. "And you get to deal with my morning sickness, and cravings, and swollen feet all over again." With an evil smirk, I added a little extra chore for him. "And you get to tell your mother."

"Well, shit! Let's go home."

Fifteen minutes later, because I didn't care if Edward was speeding, we were back at the apartment. Surprisingly, Jacob and Danielle had joined Harlow and Lucas. The four of them had guilty looks on their faces and I knew the news had already spread. I pulled the stick out of my pocket and tossed it at Danielle's head.

"Happy? You were right!" I yelled before storming off and slamming the bedroom door closed. But then I realized I wanted my baby. I walked back into the living room, took my baby from Lucas, and stormed back into my bedroom.

The apartment was silent until Jacob spoke up. "Well, I'm glad she's happy about it."

**Author's Note:**

**Hey, Everybody! I got My-Bella to type this. In fact, she's typing this right now. All it took was a brownie and a please. Alright, so I didn't actually have to say please, but she liked the brownie a lot. I got a boo-boo, hence the slavery thing. I am a freak of nature and hurt my wrist WHILE sleeping. I wasn't even awake for it! Well, they're pregnant! Bet you didn't see that one coming! Just wanted to post something to give you guys reading material until we can all get our hands on Breaking Dawn. Later!**

**Hellopants**

**P.S. We set up a Cookie League chat room. There is a link on my page!**


	22. Dreamin’ Tacos and Spittin’ Apples

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. **

**After the cursing episode in the last chapter I thought they needed some relaxation time. There is even a few "Aww" moments!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty-One, Dreamin' Tacos and Spittin' Apples_

_BPOV_

"I know it's a bit soon for this, Sweetie, but you are going to be a big brother soon," I told Oren in a sigh. Oren reached out and gave my dress a tiny tug. "You don't care about that, do you? I suppose I should at least get some food in you." I moved off the bed and put Oren in his playpen before taking my dress off and putting on some pajamas. Just to show Edward that we were _not_ going to do anything tonight I found the oldest sweats that I had and wore them. I went back to Oren and we sat on the bed together while I fed him. Shortly after I had finished Oren fell into a deep sleep. I sat there hoping that the five loud people in the other room wouldn't wake him as I stroked his cheek and ran my hand over his fuzzy hair that was a dark brown with just a hint of bronze.

I sighed before I stood up and brought Oren into his room and laid him in his crib. He was my perfect little angel. I don't know how the time with him had passed so quickly. Just a few months ago we were stunned by him rolling over and now he is crawling. Soon he would start teething and I would start hurting. I couldn't even imagine how it would feel to breast feed a teething baby. If that wasn't odd enough today I found out that I wouldn't be able to give my boobs a rest because I would have another mouth to feed.

With one last stroke of Oren's cheek I turned and left the room while quickly turning on the monitor. I was still a little bitter about monitors but they were still necessary.

When I went out to the living room I passed everyone in silence and turned on the monitor receiver. When I turned I thought I would see everyone in the room but to my surprise one very important fiancé was gone. Harlow and Lucas were occupying the couch…enough said. Danielle and Jacob were sitting on the loveseat watching a movie.

"Where's Edward?" I asked nervously. Why wasn't he with everyone else?

"Oh dear feisty friend, he's in the kitchen," Jacob laughed.

"Is he okay?" I asked quietly.

"You spent the majority of the night yelling at him, what do you think?" Danielle said in a very firm voice. An involuntary sigh escaped my mouth. How could I screw so many things up in one night? I walked to the kitchen and found Edward sitting at the small table with a cup of coffee in his hand while his other arm rested on the table with his hand cradling his forehead. My poor Edward looked so upset. I walked behind him and started rubbing his back gently he sighed and I leaned down and hugged him from behind.

"I'm sorry I acted that way," I mumbled into his back. Edward lifted his head from his hand and moved both of those wonderful hands of his over mine. "I just don't know how to handle all of this."

"I think we should start by taking you to the doctor," Edward sighed. He stood up with my arms still around him and turned to face me. The feeling of him hugging me back was so comforting I could cry. Stupid pregnancy hormones. I had been feeling off for awhile but breast feeding can cause all sorts of strange things. Like missing periods and hormonal problems.

"That would most likely be a good idea," I sighed into his chest. "Oren is going to be a little over a year when we have this baby. At least I can put them in separate grades still. Oh and I can make it easier by combining their birthday parties."

"We should focus on the next few months first," Edward laughed gently. "Our lease is up this summer, we are going to need a bigger place to keep another kid."

"At least we weren't drunk when we made this one," I laughed back at him.

"We weren't exactly drunk when we made Oren, Bella. We were just a little tipsy."

"Emmett was drunk, and you know he did play an important part in our baby making. Do you think he broke the condom too?" I laughed loudly. "Maybe he put a pin through the wrapper. But honestly, he isn't that good of a planner."

"Okay," Edward started while trying to stifle his laughter. "Let's talk about the new baby instead of our beloved Oren."

"Ugh," I mumbled as a thought came to mind. "We already ordered my wedding dress."

"We could move the wedding up so you can wear it now."

"Firstly, the dress won't be here for a month. Secondly, Alice would have a heart attack if we moved it up because she thinks that she is planning the whole thing. Thirdly, I really don't want to push your mother or myself for that matter. Fourthly, have you looked at our schedule?"

"Things are going to get rather crazy now. Between family holidays and your graduation—and Alice and Jasper's for that matter—and then looking for a new house and a wedding and Oren's first birthday and there is the engagement party at my mother's next weekend."

"Don't forget about Rosalie's impending baby shower and possibly another one for this little peanut," I said, pointing to my stomach. "So, should we go kick the happily childless people out?"

"Yep," Edward laughed.

Once we had successfully separated Lucas and Harlow and I apologized for throwing a used pregnancy test at Danielle, we were alone. Edward and I were both exhausted but there was so much we needed to talk about. It was Saturday night and we only had one more day of the weekend before we had to go back to work and school.

Edward sat propped up with pillows against the headboard and I sat between his legs resting my back against his chest. I had almost fallen asleep due to Edward running his hands soothingly over my stomach.

"Another little life," he sighed happily into my hair. "It may not be the perfect timing but I am still happy to be a daddy again."

"I know me too," I yawned. "I knew that we would have another baby someday but this little one has really bad timing."

"At least you can still graduate. The timing could have been worse."

"Edward, I am beyond tired. I really want to finish this talk but right now I am about to go hormonal if I don't get some sleep."

"I'll go shut off the light," Edward smiled as I rolled over to my side of the bed. True to his word Edward shut off the light and returned to bed so I could hold onto him for dear life. After all the commotion today I just needed to feel safe.

"Just wait until I get so big that my stomach starts to attack you while we sleep again," I laughed half awake. "I bet you missed having your unborn kick you until you wake up."

"You know how much I love my babies, I think I can handle a few beatings from them."

Waking up was always the hardest part of our day. Sleep was just something we couldn't get enough of these days. I could hear Oren crying in the other room and one of us had to go get him.

"Edward, go get the baby," I said into my pillow. We were lying on our sides together with my back pressed against his chest. Edward's arm was draped over me with his arm in an almost protective gesture over my stomach. We had known about the baby for one day and he was already worried.

"Bella, I can't get the baby because I am having a really good dream about you," Edward sighed still sleeping.

"I'm pregnant so you get your butt up and take care of that baby while I take care of the one stuck inside me."

"You are going to use that excuse for the next couple of months, aren't you?" Edward asked while trying to wake himself up.

"Yes I am, now move that amazing butt of yours out of bed," I instructed with my face buried in a pillow. I felt Edward leave the bed and then I was left in the world of dreams.

I dreamt of Edward walking toward me while I laid on a blanket in a field. Oren was running all over the place and I had an infant lying across my chest. The tiny baby snuggled deeper into my chest as Oren started to climb on my legs. I ran my hand over Oren's hair and looked into his hazel eyes. These were my babies. Edward finally reached us and relaxed beside me. He looked at the little ones and gave them each a small kiss before giving me one long loving kiss. And then a giant taco landed on his head covering him in shredded lettuce and crumbly meat.

I sat straight up in bed looking all around hoping that there were no crazed tacos in the room and more importantly that I was really awake. I let out a deep sigh of relief when I found that the taco infested dream was over. I decided it was time to get out of bed and eat some breakfast with my men. When I got to the living room Edward and Oren were playing on the floor. Edward would start to tickle him and then Oren would start crawling away. Of course he wouldn't get far because Edward would pull him right back to where he started. The both of them were laughing and smiling their brightest smiles.

"Hello, my sweet ones," I smiled. Edward looked over to me and his smile some how got bigger. I noticed his eyes trail down and I hadn't even realized that my hands were resting on my stomach instinctively.

"Good morning, love, and good morning to the little peanut," Edward laughed, as he propped himself up with his elbows. Oren climbed onto Edward's arm and pinned it to the floor. "Hey monkey, what are you doing to my arm?"

"Da-da," A cute muffled little voice said. That triggered the hormones. Oren said "Da-da" before "Ma-ma". Not only that his voice forming a real word was the sweetest thing I had ever heard. Edward looked overjoyed and he started to pick Oren up above him while he was still lying on the floor. Once again they were both laughing, Oren with his cute baby laugh and Edward with his luxurious silky laugh.

"Bella," Edward said in a concerned voice. "Is something wrong?"

"No," I muttered, turning to walk to the kitchen. I took out a container of breast milk for Oren and also started getting the things to make pancakes. By the time I had put the pancake mix on the counter I heard the high chair clicking from the other side of the kitchen. By the time I had a bowl pulled out Edward's arms were wrapped around my waist from behind me.

"Our little boy is getting so big," He whispered into my ear. "Are you okay?"

"It's just that some days I wish he wouldn't grow so fast and others I wish he would speed up," I sighed, as I started putting the ingredients in the bowl. "And then when he said your name first, then add some hormones and we have a big emotional mom."

"I heard that even though babies are usually more attached to their mothers that 'da-da' is easier to say," Edward offered like a chocolate cupcake on a platter. Of course thinking of it like that did what it always did even when I wasn't pregnant, I wanted a cupcake.

"Thanks for trying," I smiled. "Can you grab an apple out of the fridge for me?" Edward helped make the apple pancakes while Oren sat in his chair laughing at the goofy faces we all made at each other. Oren would blow a raspberry and Edward would cross his eyes and then I would make a fish face. It was turning out to be a very normal morning.

When Oren's milk was warmed up I pulled out one of his little bowls, a spoon, and a box of baby cereal. I mixed it all up and added a little apple baby food to it. Oren saw this of course and was pretty much bouncing in his seat.

"I think someone's hungry," I laughed, as I walked toward Oren's high chair. He smiled wide when I sat in a chair in front of his chair. He opened his mouth wide when I put the spoon by his mouth and the feeding game started. His tongue would always push half of the food out of his mouth so you would have to catch it and try to get it back in there.

"Pancakes are done," Edward announced, setting two plates on the table next to us.

"Oren's not," I laughed watching him try to eat. "Aren't you thrilled that we get to do this with another messy monster? Think of all the extra—" I was cut off by Oren trying to blow a raspberry with a mouth full of food. I was covered in baby food. "I need a bath, a nice long relaxing child free bath."

"Umm…Bella," Edward said.

"I know, I know, I can't escape one but it doesn't move around yet, or scream, or make messes."

**Author's Note:**

**Hello! Happy anniversary to me! It's my one year seizure anniversary in three and a half hours! Woohoo! One whole year seizure free! I even get to go somewhere! My-Bella and I are going to my cookie twin's house! YAY! **

**I hope you all liked it! It's my anniversary present to you all! And I am going to try to be on the chat room tonight!**

**Lot's of love,**

**Hellopants **


	23. Bad Edward

**Disclaimer: I still don't own things. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty-Two, Bad Edward_

_EPOV_

"Alice," I whispered pulling her aside. The engagement party was starting in a few hours and I was supposed to talk to my mother about the new baby. The doctor confirmed our mishap and told us that the "pretty panty" night wasn't the culprit. It turns out that Bella was only three weeks behind Rosalie in her pregnancy. Things were just too close for comfort.

"What is it?" Alice asked in her small bubbly voice.

"I need to talk to you about something," I whispered seriously. "It's sort of a secret."

"You know how much I love secrets!" She said a little too loudly. But right now that really wasn't a bad thing. "What do you have for me?"

"It's about Bella," I said trying to look nervous. "And me too. We are going to have another baby."

"But it's so soon," Alice said wide eyed. "How could you let this happen you big dope?" Alice started hitting me with her handbag. "I am totally telling on you! How could you be so stupid?! Bella can't have another one so soon! It's not good for her! It's not good for your mental health either! You are going to be in trouble!" With that Alice stormed off toward her mother's room.

_Perfect_, I thought happily, _now I don't have to tell my mother_! Everything was going according to plan except for the fact that Alice had hit me. I chuckled softly and snuck away from the dark corner I had dragged Alice into.

"Is that true?" Emmett said from behind me.

"Yeah," I replied softly. "We didn't need your help this time, either," I laughed trying to ease the stress that was oozing from all directions.

"What is it with you two and birth control problems?" Emmett snorted.

"I have no idea," I sighed, turning to lean against a hall wall that was almost to the bedroom. Emmett did the same next to me. I could tell he was going into "big brother" mode. Time for a lecture.

"How is she?" He asked throwing me off guard. I was expecting him to yell at me for being a dumb ass but instead he was asking about Bella.

"Worn out," I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. It was not going to be in good shape for the party at this rate. "She won't give up on the breast feeding thing until Oren is one so she has to put her body through nursing and pregnancy at the same time. The doctor said if it got to be too much he would make her stop breast feeding. This is so unexpected."

"Obviously otherwise you wouldn't be pulling your hair out," He laughed.

"I am so happy to have another baby but so…" I didn't have the right words for how I felt. I was scared but I was comforted by the new life. I needed to change the path of this conversation before I had to talk about anything too serious. I was happy to have another child and I loved Bella more than I could ever imagine. Oren was the best thing that ever happened to me. He brought Bella back to me and he was _my_ son. "You'll be happy to know that she is due three weeks after yours is!"

"Is that so?" Emmett laughed. "I win! My baby is going to be older than your new one!" I rolled my eyes at how simple it was to change a conversation with my brother. He could be incredibly smart if he wanted to, that was just it though, he had to want to be smart!

_BPOV_

"Bella?" Elizabeth asked from behind me. When I turned to her I saw the entire female crew with her. Alice was holding a makeup bag while Rosalie had a dress bag. Esme had a blow drier and Gwen had a bowl of candy. Elizabeth's face looked a little weary which made me wonder if she had talked to Edward yet. When my eyes rested on Alice she gave me a guilty look and it made me hope that my suspicions were wrong.

Thankfully Oren was with a babysitter so I could handle their game of Bella Barbie. Now I would also have to handle either hiding the new baby or dealing with the questions, as well. Oh what a fun night this would be.

"We are here to get you dressed up for your big party!" Esme said with a beaming smile. If I hadn't known what to look for I wouldn't have seen her glance at my stomach.

"And I thought that some candy would ease the pain that is beauty," Gwen smirked. They were all still eyeing me and I started to get sick of it.

"Just ask," I whispered to them.

"Bella, honey," Elizabeth started quietly. "Alice told me that you might be pregnant."

"Alice told you?" I asked in disbelief. My suspicions were right, Edward chickened out. "Edward didn't?" Everyone just looked at me strangely. "Your son is in trouble!" I stood up and walked straight out of the room. I was rather happy to find Edward just around the hallway from the bedroom. He was standing with his back against the wall next to Emmett looking rather carefree and laughing.

"There's my future little sis!" Emmett beamed. "Although I think I may re-instate your incubator nickname again."

"You are in trouble," I said stiffly pointing my finger at Edward. "Alice? Really? You can't handle one little conversation with your mother?"

"I gotta' go," Emmett said quickly, turning to run away.

"Rosalie's in our room," I called after him. Emmett turned toward us and walk right past us. I looked Edward straight in the eye. My body wanted to melt every time I looked into his emerald eyes but I was still so angry. "I really, really don't like that you can't tell your mother anything by yourself. The first time I got pregnant you just showed up with me and my big stomach! I thought your mom would have a heart attack! We are getting married soon and you still can't tell her things!" I could feel a few angry and aggravated tears fall down my cheek. Edward's hand moved to wipe them but I stepped away from him.

"I didn't know this would upset you so much, Bella," Edward said with regret. "I am so sorry." When he advanced on me this time I let him wrap his arms around me.

"You are acting like a frat boy instead of a parent," I grimaced into his chest.

"I know," He sighed. "She can just be so judgmental."

"And I have had to deal with her both times!" I almost yelled shrugging away from him. "Both times! I am not her kid, Edward! I get judged harder than you by this world! I wasn't born with money!"

"What does money have to do with anything?" Edward asked with a dumbfounded look on his face.

"Edward, I know what your mother's friends will think tonight. I am just the girl you knocked up to them. They will treat me nicely to my face but I know that if I were one of them I would be calling myself a gold digger. That's how it looks from the outside, can't you see that?"

"How did we get from telling my mother you're pregnant to what my mother's friends say behind our backs?" He asked looking even more confused.

"Mood swing," I replied lifting my eyebrows at him. I wanted to shut my harsh feelings out and try to enjoy a party that was entirely too big. I just couldn't seem to help the mood swings. "Do something romantic and try to change my mood."

"Romantic?" Edward asked in a seductive tone. "I think I can handle that." Edward grabbed me gently around the waist and put me into a low dip before kissing me in his ever melting way. We moved together even though I was still stuck in a dip. When we finally surfaced for air and stood upright I realized that he didn't understand the definition of romantic when he was in little boy mode.

"That didn't work," I said with a hint of disappointment. Edward's face fell and He looked like a kid without candy. "Now I'm just 'in the mood'." I heard something hit the floor behind us and I was afraid to turn around.

"Hey mom," Edward said weakly.

"We need to get Bella ready for the party," Elizabeth squeaked. I could hear Gwen laughing from somewhere behind me. I swear she is the female equivalent to Emmett but without the sports.

"I have to go get tortured," I smiled looking in Edward's eyes. I gave him a little smile and a peck on the lips.

"Does it seem like she always catches us?" Edward asked into my ear.

"Yes," I laughed. "I'll see you in a little bit." I turned to Elizabeth and Gwen and gave them a weak smile. "Let's get this over with."

When I got back to the bedroom I noticed that the bathroom had turned from gender neutral to a girly girl's bathroom. There were dresses draped all over the place the counters were covered in makeup and hair products and I was scared for my life as well as the life of my unborn. I sat in the chair that I had a feeling was for me and waited for them to start my engagement party makeover.

"That whole pregnancy thing is really screwing up my plans!" Alice said sounding aggravated. "I can't use hardly any hairspray! So now you just have to hope that the gel and pomade will hold!"

"So what's the plan, Bella?" Elizabeth asked clearly not talking about my hair or makeup. Hell I didn't even know what the dress I was supposed to wear looked like.

"The plan is to get through the night without causing too much drama and then I am going to take a long hot bath," I smiled, thinking about my bath.

"Not too hot," Esme warned, pointing her finger at me before turning back to the bathroom counter.

"So…" Rosalie started, finally speaking up. "How far along are you?" I tried not to think about what my pregnancy might do to her. For some reason I got pregnant very easily and she had, had so much trouble getting pregnant that I didn't know what to do. Rosalie's little bump was showing and she always had her hands on it as if it might disappear.

"I'm about three weeks after you," I smiled. Rosalie's face lit up a little and I was happy to see that this didn't upset my future sister too much.

"The babies will be able to play together," She said in a small laugh.

"Enough talking it's makeover time!" Alice yelled. They plucked, brushed, painted, plastered, curled, globbed, and pinned everything they could. When they were through with my hair, it was in a bundle of curls at the base of my neck. Alice had tucked a small glittering hair comb on the top of the bun. It looked like it belonged with my engagement ring and necklace. I could only assume it was another piece of Edward's grandmother's jewelry. My makeup was a little darker than I would have liked but Alice insisted. She made my eyes have a smokey effect and my lips were a pale pink.

The rest of them got dressed and did their own hair and makeup while I waited on the bed in my robe. Since I had already had Oren my body was still a little motherly. That meant that I showed a little earlier than I did the first time. I still wasn't to the point that I looked very pregnant but there was a tiny bump. Why did my body have to be stretched out a little still?

"Time to get you dressed!" Alice chirped. "You are so lucky that you dress can camouflage that thing." I didn't think she would have noticed the tiny miniscule growth but then again the women of this society always noticed things, that and she was my best friend. I took off my robe and felt very exposed to all the women of Edward's family. Alice yanked my bra off and threw a strapless one at me. I quickly put it on and thankfully she let me stay in my boy short underwear. I was stuck like that because they turned to put their own dresses on instead of finishing with my dress.

There was a small rap on the door and Edward peeked his head in. "Never mind!" he yelled quickly slamming the door behind him. I realized that Gwen was standing in as much clothes as I was. The poor boy had seen his godmother half naked.

"Oh get out of the way," I heard my mother yell along with a smacking noise. Renée sauntered into the room looking surprisingly well. It always astonished me to see her when she looked like that. I always expected to see her stumble through the door looking like she just left a bar. "Honey, why are you naked?"

"Because I have no idea which dress bag is mine," I shrugged trying to sound casual.

"Did you hit Edward?" Alice asked my mother.

"Only a little," Renée giggled. "Sorry Hon," She smiled to me.

"I think everyone should get at least one hit in tonight. He deserves a few hits some days," Alice giggled.

"I'll hit him," I mumbled.

"So where's my grandbaby?" A beaming Renée asked.

"Which—" Alice started but was cut off by my elbow in her side. I was _not_ ready to tell my parents yet. At least not while I was half naked and there was alcohol in the building.

"He's with the babysitter," I smiled a fake smile.

"Oh dear," Renée said sweetly, too sweetly. "You really should work a little harder on you figure. It's not quite back yet." I could have hit her. My mood swing was back and I wanted her for a target.

"Why don't we go see Oren?" Elizabeth smiled. I never thought I would like her so much. I walked over to her when my mother wasn't looking.

"Please, don't tell her," I pleaded in a whisper.

"Don't worry," Elizabeth smiled patting my hand. She turned to my mother and put on that smile of hers again. "Should we go see our grandson?" The two ladies left and I could finally breathe again. My mother wouldn't know yet and that was just how I wanted it.

"Alice, can you put some clothes on me, please?" I asked. I was starting to get chilly.

"I suppose so," She giggled. "Are you ready to see your dress?"

"I hope you like it, Bella," Rosalie beamed from the couch. She was dressed in a short satin dress that was white with a black print on it. The dress showed off the little bump she had. I was trying to do the opposite.

They opened a dress bag that held a grey strapless dress. It was long and ruffled chiffon. There was a black band that went under the bust and it was absolutely stunning. Rosalie had a bag in her hand and pulled out a black shrug. That made it a lot easier considering my amazing dress was strapless.

"It's a _Notte Marchesa_!" Alice squeaked earning laughs from all of the girls in the room. Gwen was sitting next to Rosalie on the couch and Esme was standing with Alice.

"Is that supposed to mean something?" I asked.

"It should!" Alice scoffed.

"Just put it on me." And that was it. I was surrounded by four women who kept adjusting me.

**Author's Note,**

**Hey peoples. Since everyone is talking about awards right now I have to say that My-Bella gave me a Bella Award. Tonight I burned my arm and cut my finger on a juice bottle. A plastic juice bottle! Speaking of awards both My-Bella and E.C. Cullen have been nominated for the twilight awards. Congrats to my cookies! I have to admit I am a little jealous but it's all good. I am just happy to have you all. **

**So I put the clothing up on my website a link is on my profile. Some of the dresses I haven't talked about yet because they are a surprise. If you look on the page you get a treat! We have the Cookie chat room on my page too! **

**Thanks,**

**Hellopants**


	24. Hip Shaking Fun

**Disclaimer: I am enjoying playing dolls with the Cullens but sadly I had to borrow the dolls from Stephenie**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty-Three, Hip Shaking Fun_

_BPOV_

"Thank you," I whispered, as I admired myself in the mirror. I really did look beautiful. I wondered what Edward would say and I was thankful that Alice hadn't picked a dress that was too tight.

"Because of your 'condition' I am allowing you to wear flat shoes. I don't want to have you trip and end up hurting your…condition," Alice said averting the actual words. Thank God for that! We were trying to keep the pregnancy on a need to know basis for tonight and Alice was doing surprisingly well.

"Well, ladies," Gwen smiled. "I have to go get dressed!"

"But you're all dressed up right now," I said dumbfounded.

"This was just for Elizabeth's sake. I have a date tonight and I can't look like this on a date! This is what an old lady would wear! I am free of my old—now dead—husband, Steve, and I am loving every minute of it!" Gwen said, as she shook her hips. That was far more than I ever wanted to know.

"Well I am perfectly happy with my husband in the hip shaking department," Esme giggled. Alice let out a scream and covered her ears.

"Both of you need to stop!" she yelled.

"Why don't we get you to the top of the stairs for your grand entrance before I cause my daughter bodily harm with my girl talk," Esme smiled with pride.

"Is Edward there yet?" I asked, as we walked through the door into the hallway.

"I am not sure. We will have to go look." Esme and I walked through the house on a route I hadn't learned yet. This house was entirely too big. How did they ever keep track of Edward and Emmett in here?

"Whoa, sexy momma!" Emmett laughed from somewhere behind us. When I turned around I saw him hugging Rosalie in a manner that looked like more than a hug. Emmett turned his head to me after they separated. "And Bella looks good too!"

"Where's your brother?" I asked.

"Behind you," Emmett chuckled. I turned swiftly and my dress swirled at my ankles and then under my foot. There was a small ripping noise and I found myself cradled in Edward's arms as he had once again saved me from myself.

"Damn it," I muttered.

"You need to relax, love," Edward whispered into my ear. "You rarely get hurt when you just let yourself breathe and enjoy yourself."

"I'm trying. It's harder than you think," I replied. When I found my feet again, I released my handsome man and stood on my own. "How bad is my dress? I would do a turn for damage assessment but that would probably cause more."

"Just a little tear in the hem of the outer layer. Hardly noticeable," Edward smiled. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held me tight. When I rested my head on his chest, I heard one of my favorite sounds, his heart.

"I don't wanna' do this," I pouted, lifting my face from his chest.

"Let's sneak out," he whispered hopefully.

"No," I heard Elizabeth say sternly from next to us. "Now straighten up and stop looking so glum!" Elizabeth smacked Edward in the arm and turned him to look at her. I had been keeping count and Edward had now been hit by three women tonight. Who would be the fourth? "Be good! No carrying her out of the party! It looks bad! If nothing else look happy!"

"Don't grab my stomach when we are out there," I warned. "I'm not telling my parents tonight. My mother is here and I know there is champagne down there! You saw her drunk and you don't want them to see her like that."

"Why do I feel like I am five right now?" Edward asked.

"Hush, I am going down those stairs to tell people about Rosalie and Emmett and then after they go down, then you do," Elizabeth instructed. "Now I just have to grab your dad."

"Go mom!" Emmett said in encouragement. "Get that lover boy and grab him all you want! Just please not in front of me or my poor child." Emmett put his hands over Rosalie's stomach as if he were coving the baby's eyes.

Elizabeth found Edward Sr. and went down the stairs with grace in her steps that I had to admire. A few minutes later Rosalie and Emmett were out of sight and finally we were left to wait for our queue. It didn't take long and Edward let me take my time on the stairs. I would have to warn Alice not to buy me anymore floor length dresses. That's right I said anymore. I still had to get a new wedding dress.

I saw my father in the crowded room looking rather uncomfortable. Not only was he wearing a suit, he was surrounded by strangers and, of course, my mother and her boyfriend. I hadn't known she packed the baseball boy with. Hopefully there was no pie in the room. I would hate to see another fight like that. But in all reality the last one was my fault.

I am proud to say that I did not fall walking down the stairs, of course Edward's death grip on my arm helped. My big strong man; now I just need my tiny little man! The party started out okay, no one was injured, pie was not thrown, and my pregnancy wasn't outed. So far, so good!

"So Bella," Harlow smiled menacingly. Thankfully Edward talked his mother into inviting our friends. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," I said almost as a warning. What was it with these people wanting to give my secret away?

"She's positively glowing, don't you think?" Alice twinkled from beside me.

"What am I missing?" Tanya asked bewilderedly.

"I'll tell you later," I smiled. "Now if you don't mind I have to…" My voice trailed off as I spotted Gwen. She was in a long off-white gown that was scrunched satin, low cut, and had a high slit. Oh goodness. I spotted the man next to her seconds later. He was younger, about ten years younger.

"Hey kids!" Gwen said proudly as she walked over to us.

"This is so wrong," Edward whispered into my ear. "I have seen way too much of her tonight."

"You look beautiful, Gwen," I said nicely.

"Thank you, dear," She replied. "What do you think, Alice? Did I do okay shopping for myself?"

"Did you pick him up at the store too?" She giggled nervously.

"No but it would be a popular store if I did," Gwen laughed. The man beside her had a faint blush on his cheek from the compliments and a small hint of lipstick smudged across his lips. Well now I know why Gwen came in late!

"Edward," I said, as I turned to him and wrapped my arms around him. "I want to sit down, there are way too many people in here."

"Edward, give the woman what she wants! She is fragile!" Gwen fussed and then smacked him on the shoulder. Gwen got the fourth hit of the night.

"Be quiet!" I whisper yelled at her. "No one is outing us tonight!"

Edward found an arm chair in a secluded spot in the great room. He sat down first and I sat on his lap sideways. The feeling of his hands rubbing my back soothed away most of the tension. Today was stressful and I just wanted to curl up in bed with my men. Alas, the party was nowhere near over.

We only had about five minutes to ourselves before the babysitter found us. That could not be good. She looked as if she had been crying and she kept her eyes on her hands.

"I just got a call," she sniffled. Edward and I stiffened in the chair trying to find out where Oren was and why she would be crying. "My grandmother just died. I can't watch Oren right now." Her voice broke as she said grandmother. "Please forgive me. Oren is with Miss. Elizabeth right now. I'm so sorry I have to leave."

"Are you okay?" I asked whole heartedly.

"Is there anything we can do?" Edward asked sweetly.

"No, thank you, but no," she replied before turning and walking right out the doors. I moved off of Edward's lap and started the hunt for Oren. There were too many people in expensive clothes for him to be around. I felt Edward behind me helping me search for his mother. She was on the other side of the room trying to keep a squirming Oren still while talking to a group of people.

We finally reached her and Oren practically jumped from her arms to mine. The problem was that he snuggled his face right to my chest and put his arm inside the neck of my dress. "I think he's hungry," I giggled nervously to the group of shocked people.

"Let's go somewhere you can feed him," Edward said, leaning over my shoulder and caressing Oren's cheek. Edward turned me away from the small group of prying eyes and now I faced a large group. In fact an entire party of prying eyes, my parents included. My loving fiancé continued to guide my stiff body out a side door and into a small parlor.

"Can we go to bed now?" I asked in exhaustion. "We can't leave Oren alone and I am getting really tired. Please let me go to the room!"

"Honestly I would love to take you to bed," Edward said with a sexy smirk. "But we have a few more required events. Have I told you I hate these parties?"

"At least sit with me again, Oren needs some family time after being with a babysitter." Edward smiled and we sat together on a small sofa while I fed Oren with precision. I would die if I got milk on the dress.

Oren wasn't too hungry he just wanted the comfort of being near me in that special way. We sadly had to return to the party. Edward took Oren from me and dragged us back into the main room.

"There you two are!" Danielle giggled with Jacob chuckling behind her.

"Were you two off practicing for the next one? How many are you planning on making?" Jacob outright laughed. At least they made it sound like we weren't pregnant…so far.

"We aren't telling people, please refrain from talking about it," Edward pleaded. "My family knows and our friends know but not all these crazy people!"

"The crazies include my parents," I added.

"You haven't told Charlie?" Jacob said in astonishment.

"No I haven't. You know I love him, but with Renée here, he is going through enough," I sighed.

"True," Jacob replied.

"Shall we continue the torture?" Edward asked, holding his arm out for me. Oren was laughing from his other arm and I couldn't help but smile at him. I think I found what could make these parties bearable.

"So, have you two set a date?" A rich harpy asked.

"Late this summer," Edward replied swiftly. "We moved the date up so we could make it official as soon as possible."

"Where will you be living once you are married?" Another wealthy woman hassled.

"We have an apartment," I smiled a fake smile. Oren cried at some of the ladies and laughed at others. He seemed to laugh at the ones wearing a lot of makeup. After a little while he wanted to switch so I would be the one to hold him.

"You can't expect to start a family in an apartment, can you?" A menacing lady scoffed.

"They already started a family," the other wealthy woman said rudely.

"Don't diss my baby sis!" Emmett called before Edward even had a chance to think.

"Do you realize what you ladies are implying about my future wife while in my parents' house? Not only that, but in front of our child?" Edward almost yelled. Oren cringed into me and Edward immediately started to try to calm a sleepy and startled Oren.

"They may have had a baby and they might be having another but that doesn't mean you ladies can judge Bella and my brother!" Emmett yelled moving in front of us and making a scene.

"Emmett!" Elizabeth, Alice, Jasper, Edward Sr., Edward, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Harlow, Lucas, Danielle, Jacob and Gwen screamed all at once. That only confirmed to the group that what Emmett said was the truth. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I wanted to go to bed so much more than I had earlier.

The entire room stared at Edward, Oren and me. Oren was still snuggled tightly against me, Edward's arms were wrapped tightly around me and I was scared stiff by the looks on those women's faces.

"Mom?" Edward called out. "Can I break the rules?"

"Please do, son," Elizabeth said as she stormed toward us. "Emmett! Go to your room! Rose, keep him there!" She instructed. "I need to have a word with you ladies, RIGHT NOW!" Elizabeth screamed at the evil women, before turning and doing a little bow to a room of stunned people. She escorted the ladies out of the room and Edward swept me still holding Oren into his arms bridal style. I was so stunned that I didn't even realize when I was safely in the room until Edward had placed me on the bed.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked quietly. He took Oren from me and set him in his crib. That's right, Elizabeth upgraded the bassinette to a crib without us even saying a word. This house felt like a hotel.

"I'll be okay," I whispered. "Help me out of this dress, please?" Edward did. He also took a wash cloth and wiped away my smudged makeup.

"Are you hungry? You haven't eaten much today."

"As unlike me as this sounds, can you just have someone bring the food to us? I don't want to leave the room and I sure as hell don't want to be alone just so I can have a snack." I gave him my best attempt at puppy dog eyes and of course Edward reached for his phone and told someone to bring us food. Probably more than we needed.

I drifted to sleep the short time we had to wait. The knock on the door made me so happy. I had forgotten how hungry you get when you are pregnant, let alone breast feeding. A huge tray of food was brought into the room and my mouth was quite literally watering.

"Isabella!" a person yelled from the doorway as the staff member left. "What is going on here?"

"Renée, get out," Edward instructed.

**Author's Note;**

**Hi guys! I am still having a few sleep induced injuries. Nothing too bad. So, I left you with a cliffy. I hope to have the next chapter up sooner than I did with this one. I already have a little done! If you didn't like it you can bite me. If you're a vampire I don't care what you thought just bite me. **

**Thanks,**

**Hellopants**

**P.S. Anyone can join us in the Cookie chat room! We do tend to scare but our shenanigans are fun! Please don't be crude with yours unless they fit with ours. Then they aren't crude anymore! **


	25. Pregnant Women Unite!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Edward or Bella. I wish I owned Emmett. **

**This chapter is a birthday present for be my valentine! I post it just for her!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty-Four, Pregnant Women Unite!_

_BPOV_

"Butt out, Edward," My mother yelled. "I wasn't talking to you!" Renée walked straight over to us and I could see that she had, had at least two glasses of alcohol. I could tell.

"Please, leave me alone right now, Renée," I cried. Stupid hormones.

"I am your mother and you will call me that!" She screamed.

"Leave this house now!" Edward instructed. "I will have someone come get you if I have to." The threat did nothing. My mother kept advancing on us. She was like a shark and we were the people on the small inflatable life raft.

"No need," Charlie, my amazing father said from the doorway. Who is ironically a fisherman. "Renée, drop the bottle that you are hiding behind your back and step away from my daughter."

"Bite me, Charlie! I am through with you and all your bossing me around!" she screamed. Perfect, my parents had started fighting again.

"Edward, can you see if _Phil_ is still here so she can get a ride to a hospital?" my dad asked spitting out Phil's name while peering around my mother.

"No problem," Edward replied pulling out his phone. Oren woke up due to the screaming and started to join in.

"Dad, please get her out," I pleaded.

"No problem, sweet pea," He smiled, as he grabbed Renée's arm and gently pulled her to the door and pushed her out. He shut the door while he was still inside and locked it tight. She was still outside the door pounding but that was much better than having her in the room. I carefully stood up in my robe and moved to get Oren.

"One of the staff is going to get her away from the door and I talked to Phil who said he would drag her to the hospital," Edward said, moving from the bed to where I was standing by the crib. "Go back to bed and eat some food, I can take care of Oren."

"How did the new baby come about?" Charlie asked. "Don't go into the actual making, mind you, I do know how that happens."

"Once again we had a minor accident in the birth control department," I replied. I settled into the big bed and smiled at the plate of food I had brought with me. It wasn't everyday I got bananas foster.

"Things just happened, we didn't mean to have another baby so soon," Edward said. He moved to sit on the couch with a very sleepy Oren in his arms. Charlie sat next to him and reached for Oren.

"Trust me, if there is one thing I can do it's getting a baby to fall asleep," Charlie smiled to Edward. "That one liked to stay up all night." He said motioning toward me.

"Very funny, daddy," I said sarcastically through my mouthful of food.

"You two need to be more careful," Charlie instructed. "I don't want to be the man with the obscene amount of grandkids."

"And we don't want to be the parents with the insane amount of kids," Edward added. Shockingly Oren was already asleep snuggled up in my fathers arm. Charlie simply smiled at me and stood up to put Oren in the crib.

"Go to sleep and no funny business!" He said, before exiting the room.

"That was interesting," Edward said with wide eyes.

"Very," I added. "Edward, thanks for helping to get rid of my crazy mother."

"That's what I am here for. After all I have to protect my future bride. Even more important I have to love you, I don't think I could love you anymore than I do now. Too bad I feel that everyday and then the next day my love grows."

"I feel the same way, I just don't use that many words," I laughed.

"It's good to know that after all of the trouble I caused earlier you don't want to hit me," Edward joked.

"I still want to hit you I am just waiting for the right moment," I smiled wickedly. My hand drifted to Edward's hip where I pulled his dress shirt out from his fancy pants. The tips of my nails barely tickled him and Edward had a lovely reaction a tiny little moan.

"Don't start things we can't finish," He pleaded.

"I wasn't starting anything," I said innocently. "I just tickled my fiancé a little. Plus I need my sleep and that would make it very hard to sleep."

"And your dad forbid it, tonight," Edward laughed.

"If we were going to, my response to that would be, 'It's not his house so we don't need to follow his rules'." Edward and I laughed as loudly as we dared.

"I think I need a cold shower," Edward commented, before getting off the bed and heading into the bathroom.

"I have wanted to revisit your Jacuzzi tub for awhile now. I want to soak the stress away!" Edward gave me a pleading look when I entered the bathroom. I guess I was torturing him more than I expected. I really wanted a bath though. "Mr. Naked-butt, could you get me my book?"

"If I join you, you won't need a book," Edward smiled hopefully.

"Maybe I want you to join." My wicked smiled forced Edward to advance on me. "We should steal some bath toys and play pirates!"

"Bella," Edward said as a warning. "Bella?" My head started to spin and not in any sexual way. I was very dizzy so I quickly sat on the floor cross legged with my head bowed slightly. Edward came and sat behind me, cradling me. "Are you okay, Bella?"

"Dizzy."

"I'm calling my dad," Edward warned. Perfect, his dad spent more time treating me as a patient than I cared for.

"Don't," I groaned. "Just take me to bed and I will be fine."

Minutes later I was in bed and Edward had called his dad. It would have been nice if he had listened to me. His dad told me to take some iron supplements and that he would do more in the morning. At least _that_ Edward was going to let me sleep.

My Edward let me sleep through the night. Every time Oren would wake up he would take him. That was very nice. My dreams were surprisingly calm and I really enjoyed it. It was a peaceful haven in my mind. Waking up is always a challenge. It's not as hard when there is a screaming kid though.

"Hi, baby boy," I cooed while I stretched across the bed. Edward was lying on the other side of the bed propped on his side. Oren was between us rolling and crawling around. In true baby fashion Oren made his way over to me and face planted right into my chest. He is surely a boob man.

"Ma," Oren sighed into me.

"That's right, sweet one," I smiled, while leaning down to kiss his head. I didn't feel like moving quite yet so I just slid my night shirt so he could eat. Edward just shook his head and moved closer to us. "I am supporting two people you know. So if I don't want to be proper about feeding them you can't give me funny looks!"

"I wasn't giving you funny looks," He laughed. "I was admiring you."

"That I can deal with." Edward leaned down and kissed me sweetly on the lips. They lingered wantonly but Oren was between us. We broke the kiss and Edward wrapped his arm around Oren and me.

"What should we do today? Did you want to go home already?"

"I want to take Oren swimming in your parents' pool. The one way out back," I smiled.

"That sounds fun. I think Oren would like it." Edward chuckled. Oren decided he was done and started laughing between us. I put my silicon nursing pad back in place and covered myself again.

"Can you keep him? I need to pee like a pregnant woman," I laughed. "Maybe I am!"

"Possibly," Edward joked. "Don't take too long. Emmett is probably waiting in the kitchen for us. You know how much he likes food. Unless Rose has morning sickness in the morning. You are the afternoon sickness queen." I moved off the bed simply shaking my head at him and went into the bathroom. When I emerged I had a toothbrush hanging out of my mouth.

"She is far enough along that she probably isn't getting sick anymore," I said through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Good to know," he laughed. A few minutes later I was dressed in simple clothes. We left Oren in his sleeper and Edward pulled on a shirt. He was much more comfortable than I was here. But he grew up here.

Emmett was waiting just like Edward had said. I laughed at the sight of Rosalie and her plateful of biscuits and gravy. It was almost the size of Emmett's. We ate together with Alice and Jasper and talked about going swimming. Before I had a chance to tell Alice I had forgotten my suit she told me that she put one in the closet last time she visited. She had far too much fun hiding things in with my clothes.

We went back to Edward's room and I put Oren into his little swimming diaper with swim trunks on top of it. Edward changed into his swim trunks and I put my body into the suit Alice picked. It wasn't a maternity suit and for that I was grateful. I wasn't that big in fact I could still wear my clothes…for the most part. My skinny pants hadn't fit in weeks. I didn't know it was because there was something living in me. The suit was a brown tankini that covered my entire stomach. It was brown with a teal flower pattern with white swirly leaves.

Edward was continually worried about me since he found out about the new baby. He gave me a speech about staying in the shallow end and not diving into the pool. Spoil sport. In an attempt to appease the loving man I let him steal a golf cart from the staff and drive us out to the pool that was hidden in the woods.

When we got there I had to laugh at the other golf cart waiting just outside the entry to the wooded path. "I take it Emmett is just as protective as you are," I laughed to Edward.

"I only want what's best for my family," Edward smiled crookedly back.

When we walked into the open area I saw the spectacular waterfall splashing into the bright pool. The air smelt of chlorine and Oren scrunched his nose a little when it hit him. Then I saw something I didn't need to. Emmett had Rosalie in the deeper area so very little of her body was showing. She was pressed against the pool wall and they were surly enjoying kissing.

"Payback stinks, doesn't it Emmett?" Edward yelled, right before I saw a flash. Apparently Edward had hidden a weatherproof disposable camera in the bushes.

"Oh you little…" Emmett started with his face turning red.

"Do you know how long I have had that camera there waiting for a moment like this?" Edward laughed.

"She's pregnant, Edward," I said with my temper flaring slightly.

"Pregnant women stick together, little brother," Rosalie chuckled.

"Do you remember what I was like during my pregnancy? You seemed to enjoy it," I laughed. Edward's face had a hint of fear as he went over to a trash bin and dropped the camera in it. No man would want to have two pregnant women mad at them.

"Eddie got in trouble!" Emmett yelled in victory. "All is right with the world!"

Oren started to wiggle in my arms while looking at the water. If he enjoyed this as much as he enjoyed bath time it would be a good day.

**Author's note:**

**Hey peoples! So as you could tell from the top this chapter is dedicated to be my valentine! Now lets all sing her a birthday song;**

**Happy birthday to you, **

**Happy birthday to you,**

**Happy birthday dear be my valentine,**

**Happy birthday to you!**

**YAY! **

**So as far as I am concerned things are good. Life is happy right now. I played dress up last night! Who ever heard of a twenty year old who likes to dress up for no reason other than to feel pretty? I am a strange cookie. **

**Thank you,**

**Hellopants**

**P.S. The cookie chat room is open to any fan invited or not. My only suggestion is that if you are young you act it. I don't like hearing twelve year olds talk about sex. I have raised other peoples' children and have been a nanny. I really hate to see girls grow up too fast. So young girls just watch what you talk about to me. I don't want to go all mom like on your butt. **


	26. First Time

**Disclaimer: If I owned them I would have more money. Read the A/N!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty-Five, First Time_

_EPOV_

"Hey Edward, can I talk to you?" Jacob asked poking his head out of the small garage. We were spending Easter with Charlie and some of Bella's old family friends. My mother had not been pleased to hear we wouldn't be going there. Charlie's house was right next to his friend Billy's so the garage was close enough for Jacob to see me walking up Charlie's drive.

"What's new, Jacob?" I asked trying to sound casual. It wasn't like Jacob to want to talk to me without Bella. The small garage he led me into had old wooden walls and a wavy tin roof. There were nails sticking out of the walls with various tools hanging from them.

Jacob plopped onto the old tattered sofa that was shoved against the back wall. There was a cooler sitting right next to it with the lid off. Jacob pulled out two beers and tossed me one.

"So," Jacob started. "What's it like being a dad?" His questioned shocked me even more so was the nervous look on his face.

"Please tell me Danielle isn't…" I trailed off because of the look on Jacob's face.

"NO! I was just asking!" He said mortified.

"Oh," I sighed in relief. I was happy to hear that they weren't pregnant yet. Jacob and Danielle deserved to take things slow. I have no regrets about how fast I moved with Bella but not everyone is as lucky as us. "Being a dad is the best and scariest thing that has ever happened to me."

"After spending time with Danielle's crazy siblings I have a fear of kids with sugar and anything that can be used as a weapon," Jacob admitted.

"Thankfully Oren is still at that stage that his punches don't hurt," I laughed. I finally sat down on the other side of the couch and opened my beer.

"I'm thinking about giving Danielle a promise ring," Jacob whispered. "I just wanted an engaged guy's perspective."

"If you really love her and think it will forever than I say you should. I wasn't with Bella for long before we got engaged but there was a lot of different things going on with us. I wouldn't trade my Bella for anyone," I smiled.

"Okay, now that the chick talk is done and over with I feel the need to warn you," Jacob laughed almost evilly. "They plan on coning you into a fishing trip the second you step into that house."

"Ugh," I groaned.

"It's not that big of a deal, you wimp."

"It is," I mumbled.

"Are you scared of a little ol' fish?" Jacob asked mockingly.

"No I'm scared of the fisherman with knives and a boat they can throw me off and never see me again." Jacob just started laughing. "I don't care who you are if your girlfriend/fiancée/wife's dad wants to take you somewhere with him alone you get scared shitless. Does Charlie bring his gun on fishing trips?"

"Now I want you to go on a fishing trip too," Jacob chuckled. "Just to see your face before you leave!"

"I'm sure that Bella would avenge me," I laughed.

"With a big belly sticking out of her while she smacks the crap out of Charlie."

"And then goes to the boy who laughed while I was leaving for my ill-fated tour and kicks his ass!" I beamed jokingly.

"She loves me too much to hurt me," Jacob laughed. "I am like the brother she never had."

"Do you forget the night we found out about the new baby? How does your stomach feel?" I smirked.

"Shut up and finish your beer," Jacob grumbled. I couldn't help but laugh the entire time I was drinking the rest of the beer. Just because it's Easter doesn't mean you can't have a drink.

It was only about three minutes later that Bella came through the door. She rolled her eyes and slightly shook her head with humor on her face. "Edward, you're a bad influence for our dear Jacob," Bella joked. It was good to see her at ease.

"In my defense _he_ gave _me_ the beer," I retorted.

"Who ever said I was innocent?" Jacob said pretending to bat his eyelashes. "We all know you aren't, Bella, but ther is no proof of _my_ innocence being stolen."

"Don't worry I stole it," Danielle said from behind Bella.

"Where's Oren?" Jacob asked quickly.

"So Danielle was your first, was she," I said stretching my shoulders out like Emmett would.

"If only Emmett were here," Bella giggled, as she walked over to me and settled into my lap. "Our jokes are never nearly as good."

"Don't worry I have plenty," Danielle laughed evilly. She moved to sit next to Jacob in the middle of the couch and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Do tell," my beautiful Bella smiled.

"Well you know how guys are their first time," Danielle giggled.

"No," Bella said looking at her hands.

"Your first time wasn't with a virgin?" Danielle giggled.

"Not something I want to hear!" I yelled covering my ears. "Please, Bella, stop before I have to hurt some guy I don't know."

"Don't worry it still sucked," Bella said reassuringly and joking at the same time. "You are the only guy I want to share a bed with…ever."

"Okay, and now I have heard too much," Jacob shuddered. "When did this turn into girl talk? And honestly I didn't think our first time was bad."

"I love you and I taught you well," Danielle smiled stood up kissed him on the cheek and walked straight out of the garage.

"I think that's my cue," Bella giggled and followed behind Danielle.

"Have fun," I laughed and chased after Bella leaving Jacob sitting in the garage speechless. Bella was almost to Charlie's house when I wrapped my arms around her and stopped her. "It's nice to see you joking around with friends."

"I do all the time," she said, relaxing against my chest.

"Not like that," I explained. "That was pre-mom Bella back there. I love you both, but it was nice to see her for awhile. I kind of missed your carefree side."

"Hi there," a little blond boy said to Bella. "Can I touch?" Oh for Pete's sake. What an odd Easter this would be.

**Author's Note:**

**Help. The shit hit the fan back home and I am trying not to freak. My sisters married idiots. Sorry it's short and took so long to write. If you want to know about it ask. Forgive my overdone brain. I may have the guts to post my dreams on my website. And the Cookie party chat room is always open to people as long as you aren't talking about stalking. We don't like that. It's creepy. Once again link is on the fanfic profile. **

**Kill me,**

**Hellopants**


	27. Finals Frenzy

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything…not even my car. **

**Trust me when I tell you that this is late for a good reason. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty-Six, Finals Frenzy_

_BPOV_

My mind could only handle so much. I felt like it was chanting: _Oren, finals, new baby, finals, Edward, finals, wedding, finals, Edward's birthday, finals, new house, finals, finals, FINALS!_ Oh yes, and I was starting to get a nice bump showing so people could tell that I had slipped in the birth control department once again. The plus side of this wonderful time was that the restraining order came through and Mike had to drop all the classes we had together and couldn't even walk down the same halls as me. He had to spend an extra semester being a student because he had to drop classes that he had almost finished.

"Bella, come to bed," Edward said from behind me. He pressed his lips to the back of my neck. I was sitting at the desk in the living room with books surrounding me. Oren had been asleep for hours so I was getting a little study time in. "It's two in the morning, Bella!"

"What do you mean two in the morning? I only did a few chapters," I said dumbfounded.

"Bells, your page marker moved at least a hundred pages tonight. Leave it be, come to bed." I nearly moaned when Edward started rubbing my shoulders. He may have been trying to relieve tension but with all the stuff going on it had made our alone time rare. So the innocent shoulder rub stirred up a whole new tension.

"Bed sounds good," I sighed, looking up at his glorious face. "But if you want me to sleep you're going to need to stop that." My eyes traveled from his faces to his hands placed on my shoulders and back to his face.

"As much as I want to keep you up all night in bed, you need to relax," Edward sighed. "What's more important, your health or school?"

"The baby's health comes first," I smiled weakly at him. Edward frowned at me, apparently that was not the answer he wanted.

"_You_ come first, the baby is a part of you but this little family can't survive without a good strong mommy." He turned my chair so I was looking at him and wouldn't break eye contact with me until I gave in. I nodded to him.

"This is going to be tough," I yawned. Edward picked me up from the chair and carried me bridal style into bed. I wasn't even aware he had put me in the bed. The next thing I knew Oren was giggling from the other side of the bed.

"Shh, don't wake up mommy," Edward whispered to Oren.

"Too late," I mumbled into my pillow. "How are my boys today?" I asked with a smile as I sat up.

"Oren has been a silly boy this morning," Edward chuckled as he started tickling Oren.

"I see," I laughed back. Oren was laughing his little laugh and then reached for me and said the one word I couldn't help but love.

"Ma-ma," Oren squeaked trying to wiggle away from being tickled.

"Come on, Baby," I cooed. He made his way into my lap and in true Oren fashion tugged on the neck of my shirt. "I guess you're hungry." I laid back and rolled onto my side so I wouldn't have to hold him. I don't know how long I had slept but it wasn't long enough. "What time is it?" I asked in a yawn.

"Umm…" Edward trailed off with a guilty look on his face. "Nine in the morning."

"NINE!" I gasped. "But I have a study group I have to get to in half an hour!" I scrambled out of bed and left Edward with a crying baby on the bed. "Can you _please_ feed him, Edward?"

"Bella, they aren't going to do anything vitally important in the study group. You can do the same thing here that you would there." Edward tried but his words seemed to fall straight to the floor, completely avoiding me.

"It's about seeing other people's opinions on the subjects, Edward. About getting their point of view for the essays so you can try to cover the subject from all the angles."

"I know what study groups are, but it's Sunday and you need to relax before your final tomorrow," Edward sighed with an almost pleading tone. "Can't I help you with the studying?"

"Edward, you had an entirely different major than I do. I know you didn't take Literary Arts classes," I smiled, while slipping a shirt over my head.

"Bella, please just stay home." One of these days Edward's grin would fail. Today I would just have to work around how utterly amazing he was and try to make him happy while still getting my way. Stupid compromises.

"Will you hand me my phone off the night stand?" I took the phone from him and left the room. I slid into the kitchen and called Harlow while making some toast. She kindly agreed to my plan and so did the rest of the study group. Edward would get his way and I would be home for the rest of the day. I heard the high chair latches snap behind me and thought about getting Oren some food. Then I remembered Edward was supposed to.

"Would you care to tell me why you had to leave the room just to talk on the phone?" Edward asked, snuggling up behind me.

"So you wouldn't see the begging I had to do to make it so I could stay here," I smiled turning to him. I looked straight into his eyes and reached my hand to the counter so I could grab my piece of toast and stick it in my mouth. Oh, the joys of food while pregnant. There is nothing like wanting to eat just about everything. You go from being sick at the mere thought of food to wanting all the food _now_.

"So, are you going to stay home with Oren and me all day, then?" Edward asked with a hopeful tone in his voice.

"I will be home all day," I said honestly. "But Harlow and a few other people from my class will be here too. Only for a little bit and when they are gone we can put Oren down for a nap! Maybe we could get in a little lovin'!" We both started laughing hysterically, but I stopped and looked into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you," Edward sighed back. He seemed so content at the sound of those words, like you could probably slap him after you said it and he wouldn't care. "I suppose I can live with this compromise of yours."

"Like you have a choice," I laughed. "I'm the mother of your children and you love me too much not to agree. You wanted me home and now I will be." Edward looked ready to argue once again, but Oren's frustrated cry interrupted him. I kissed Edward's cheek, already planning my escape from the kitchen to finish getting dressed. "Your son is hungry, Daddy. You know how impatient he can be."

"Yeah," Edward chuckled. "He gets that from his mother," he called after me as I walked into our bedroom. I slipped on some clothes that were comfy and just nice enough to be seen in. That means I put on a pair of track suit pants and one of Edward's sweat shirts. It hid my bump rather nicely!

"Oren, please stop," Edward pleaded in the other room. Oh, what happened now? The sight of Edward holding Oren at arms length was rather interesting. Edward had baby food splattered on him while Oren was laughing and wiggling closer.

"I can't leave you two alone for five minutes without something messy happening!" I laughed. "Go clean him up while I get the apartment straightened up. We have entirely too many baby toys in the living room. Maybe the new house should have an extra bedroom for their things. I think we could handle a small four bedroom house."

"Did you just say you wanted something bigger than needed?" Edward asked astonished.

"Yes I did, now clean up the baby!" I smiled.

"How about I clean up both babies?" Edward asked with a smirk on his face. He was still holding Oren but approaching me with a wicked smile.

"Edward, we have people coming over, Oren is still awake and we really don't have time to do that. Please hold the thought until Oren's nap time?" I asked with longing.

"Alright, but we need to get you 'relaxed' later today!"

Very shortly after Edward took Oren into the bathroom, Harlow and the rest of the study group showed up. It was almost a comfort to see that they were as stressed out about the finals as I was. By the time the group was finished I felt better about the finals—like I might actually do well.

"Are they all gone?" Edward whispered like if we were having a secret conversation.

"All gone," I confirmed. "Is Oren asleep?"

"He just went to bed so we have time!" Edward looked like he had just won the lottery. I guess I wasn't the only one in sore need of "together" time.

"To the bedroom!" I said softly while still making it sound like a battle cry. Pregnant hormones could be great some times.

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hallway as fast as he dared. I almost laughed at his eagerness, and probably would have if I hadn't been feeling just as eager.

Edward sat on the bed and pulled me to stand between his legs. He lifted my sweatshirt—well, technically it was his shirt—and lovingly kissed my bump. It was the sweet little gestures like that, that made him stand apart in my eyes. Sure, he could be the frat guy he'd been when I first met him, but he could also be an adoring fiancé showering me with love and attention.

In the time it had taken me to acknowledge those thoughts, Edward had gotten rid of my shirt, his shirt, and was well on his way to removing my pants. I pouted at him—removing his shirt was one of my favorite parts.

He chuckled as he tossed my pants away and pulled me to lay next to him on the bed. My hands went to his hair, making it wilder and messier than it normally was. I loved his hair! Maybe I just had a thing for uncontrollable hair—it would certainly explain my fascination with Doctor Who, not that I ever really had the time to watch it anymore. Maybe I could ask for the DVD set when my birthday came around again.

And then I realized I was spacing out when I should have been paying attention to the man trying to love me. Why was I suddenly so tired and distracted? I'd been looking forward to this moment just this morning.

Edward kissed the sensitive spot where my neck and shoulder met, effectively waking both my body and my tired mind. With Oren sound asleep, we were able to take our time, enjoying each other in a way we'd rarely had time for lately. Edward didn't seem to mind any of my rediscovered curves as his hands and lips explored them all.

Our lovemaking was slow and sweet, and we held each close through it all. When our beating hearts finally calmed, Edward kissed me tenderly. "I love you, Bella."

"Love you, too," I sighed, snuggling a little further against him. I was thoroughly enjoying this rare opportunity to cuddle…And then Oren's cry came through the baby monitor, bringing me back to the reality of our life.

"Stay," Edward ordered, moving away from me and getting up from the bed.

"It's no trouble, Edward."

"Bella, stay in that bed," he said, pulling his pants so that they rested just below his hips. "You were up earlier than you should have been, you spent most of the studying, and you just participated in some very physical activities." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Rest, Love. I'll be back soon."

I smiled at his sweetness, and then watched him leave the room, enjoying the view. My hormones might have been slightly insatiable from the pregnancy, but the rest of me was tired. I closed my eyes for just the briefest of seconds…and fell into a deep sleep filled with wonderful dreams of Edward and Oren.

**Author's note:**

**I didn't write all of this. My-Bella helped a lot. Once again things got off kilter for me and it's not fair. Someone asked me if I was "emo" because I am always getting hurt…no, I am not. Life is like a horse for me that has a fetish for kicking me in the gut. You just have to try to make the best of it. I have things mapped out for the rest of the story it's the writing it that is causing problems. **

**Hellopants**

**P.S. HEALTH ISSUES SUCK!**


	28. Blood

**Disclaimer: if I owned it I would be rich and able to afford better doctors and it would be edited. I hope I found everything. **

**Please don't be mad at me for taking so long to update. A short recap of the last few months entitles seizures, my nephew having surgery, my sister freaking out because she isn't pregnant, moving, second degree burns, and a lot more.**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty-Seven, Blood_

_BPOV_

All I could hear was my breathing and the ticking of my pencil. How could one simple question feel so important? I just had to keep breathing and ignore the feeling to revisit my breakfast. The first of my final exams and I was panicking. Not a good thing to start doing so soon in the week. One last question and only five more minutes to finish this stupid test, and then I could go home to my boys.

I finished the question not two seconds before the timer rang. That's when I handed my paper in and also when I started getting blood on my shirt. I got a bloody nose and almost splattered someone. Wouldn't that just go over well? At least I got away from my test before it started, the last thing I needed was blood on my test.

"Shit, Bella," Danielle said, as she ran over to me and stuck something over my nose. "I knew you were late but that is the wrong area to bleed from!"

"Just help," I muffled through the sweat shirt she had thrown over the lower half of my face.

Danielle would have just taken me to the school's clinic but some freshman called for an ambulance without even asking.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" a paramedic asked.

"Yes, I just have a bloody nose," I muffled through the cloth. Okay so it was still bleeding but people were staring at me and making a fuss.

"Do you have any other medical conditions that might provoke a sudden nose bleed like this?" He asked. That's his polite way of asking if I was pregnant or just fat. I put my hand below my little bump and sighed into the moist cloth.

"Pregnant," I replied simply.

"We should probably make sure you are seen by a doctor to make sure everything is okay," Mr. Paramedic man said.

"Danielle, can you call Edward?" I grumbled. He worries too much.

"No problem, do you want me to come with?" Danielle offered. That was sweet of her. Jake had a good girlfriend who when provoked could probably hurt him.

"Alright let's get out of here before the entire school sees me," I said through the damp shirt, as I started walking toward the ambulance. If you would have seen it you would have thought I had an entourage. Two ambulance workers were on either side of me and Danielle was trailing behind on the phone.

It was a quick ride to the emergency room and I was lucky enough to be able to go through the ambulance entrance so I didn't have to deal with people from the waiting room giving me funny looks. They put me in the typical tiny room with the same bed and the same cabinets and the same chairs. I was just lucky I wasn't at Charlie's when this happened or I would have just been stuck in a big room with a stock pile of beds.

"Well this is cozy," Danielle joked.

"Oh yes, don't you just love these linins," I laughed trying my best to pull of a fancy accent like Edward's mother.

"They are just to die for, did you see those draperies hanging in front of some of the doors? I simply have to have some of that hideous pastel print in my summer home," Danielle said, while moving her arms in wide motions. I don't know why but just joking around made this whole situation bearable. I stopped worrying so much and focused on making jokes.

The nurses were actually nice and not to grumpy today so I figured it must be a nice slow day. On a few occasions I have had some pretty scary nurses. They strapped some monitors to me and my stomach and asked a ton of questions. It wasn't until one of them said that the doctor would be back in soon to check my readings and tests that Edward showed up with Oren in his arms in a big fuss.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, sounding a bit winded, which shocked me.

"I'm fine it's just a bloody nose. Look it stopped now," I said pointing to my nose that was no longer oozing blood. "All better." Oren started giggling when I made my nose move from side to side.

"But there's blood all over your shirt and whatever is in that bag," Edward said with wide eyes as he looked at the bag containing Danielle's ruined shirt.

"I thought you asked them to throw that away," I mentioned to Danielle.

"Me too," she laughed.

"Hey Edward?" I asked in my sweetest voice, gaining his full attention. "What do you think of these linins? Aren't they just fabulous?" Danielle and I burst into laughter only to be "tisked" at by a nurse.

"You don't want that nose of yours to start bleeding again do you?" she asked in a motherly tone. "The doctor's here and you wouldn't want him to see you start bleeding again or he may make you stay longer."

"I really wouldn't want that," I mumbled. The doctor entered the room in a calm and cool manner.

"Alright everything looks fine I want you to go home and get some rest," the doctor smiled.

"Do you know why she had a nose bleed? She didn't have any with her first pregnancy," Edward asked.

"Every pregnancy is different just because someone has no morning sickness with the first doesn't mean they won't be vomiting a lot with the second," The doc' explained.

"The fact that she is breast feeding while she's pregnant isn't hurting her is it?" Edward asked with concern. I think it's time that Edward Sr. has a chat with Edward about breast feeding during a pregnancy.

"Honestly, I don't see any reason she should stop breast feeding unless she wants to. The breast feeding means she has to eat more than a typical pregnant woman and that she may get tired even faster than she would if she was just pregnant. Unless Isabella's blood pressure or any other readings start getting abnormal she is just fine continuing what she is doing. Don't worry, she's fine," the doctor said comfortingly to Edward.

"Can I go now?" I asked, trying to get out of the dang hospital.

"Yes, the nurse just needs you to sign a paper and then you can leave," The doctor said, as he left the room.

Once the paper was signed I left the hospital with Oren on my hip. Danielle rode over to the school with Edward, Oren, and me so that we could collect our cars. We said goodbye and I asked her to make sure she could come to the small graduation party that Elizabeth had planned. I hoped she would do what she said and keep it small. After that I got in my car and Edward and Oren followed in the other car. I noticed that Edward was talking to someone from my rearview mirror and it didn't look like he was talking to Oren. Oh crap, he had some hands free phone thing put in with his stereo.

When we got to the apartment building I sighed at the person who had the parking spot next to mine. It never failed that they would park so close to the line in between the spaces that if I were to park directly in the middle of mine I wouldn't be able to get out of the car. Thankfully Edward's car was on the other side of mine so we would work out the parking situation by ourselves.

We parked and took the elevator up to our floor. Edward made me sit down on the couch when we got into the apartment. It felt kind of nice to just rest while Oren played with his toys on the floor by my feet. There were some clanking noises in the kitchen that could only mean that Edward was making dinner.

"Hey Hun', does stroganoff sound okay for dinner?" Edward called from the kitchen.

"Only if you use my recipe not the one from your parents' house. That one has too much fluff to it," I called. All you need for really good stroganoff is some fried hamburger, condensed mushroom soup, and sour cream. Then poor it over rice on a plate add a little pepper and you are all set with a tasty dish. His parents' party cook tried to teach Edward to make it and they put a lot of useless ingredients in it. "Daddy's making good food for momma tonight," I whispered to Oren, making both Oren and myself laugh.

"What are you two laughing about in there?" Edward asked suspiciously, while he peeked his head out of the kitchen doorway.

"Noth-thing!" I said innocently. After that I crawled onto the floor next to Oren and played with him. His favorite was when I would gently bop his butt with a soft noisy hammer toy.

Oren had some baby food while Edward and I had some tasty food. After dinner Edward did the dishes and I convinced him to at least let me give Oren his bath so that the little guy could get to bed sooner. I loved to see Oren have fun in the tub and watch him splash himself. It's just so cute.

The doorbell rang catching me completely off guard. I had been kneeling next to the bath tub and ended up having my knees slip and landing on my butt. I let out a small yelp and of course Edward came running. He is too sweet for being so concerned but I really do need to talk his father into having a chat with him so he knows that I am okay and I'm not going to fall apart at a seconds notice.

"I'm fine just go answer the door," I said kindly. I managed to towel off the water on the floor so I wouldn't slip again. I heard Edward talking to someone at the door and then…inviting them in? I guess he had a friend coming over tonight.

"Hello Bella," an undeniably familiar voice said from behind me. Dang it I knew that making fun of her accent earlier would bite me in the butt. "How are you feeling?"

"Just fine," I said politely, as I pulled the stray hairs away from my face and behind my ears. "How are you tonight, Elizabeth?"

"I have to admit I am a bit concerned. Edward called the house in such a frightful manor that for a second I thought you had died. It seems that was before he saw that you were fine. I talked to my dear husband shortly about what was happening and he laughed at how silly Edward was being. However to ease my son's mind I thought I would be able to help you this week. From what I understand it will be a stressful one for you," Elizabeth said kindly. I could see Edward's face turn apologetic as I looked past his mother right to him. Edward started to slink away slowly trying to avoid my gaze.

"I'm sorry," Edward said loudly, before running down the hallway away from us.

"That's fine, Elizabeth. I'm just surprised to see you," I smiled.

"Edward seems to think that he has committed a crime by having me come here. Are you sure it is okay?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's fine, really, I just wish that I had a chance to clean things up and try to find somewhere suitable for you to sleep." That's when Oren decided to splash my entire backside with soapy water. Yep he wanted things clean too.

**Giggle. I love the way this ended. I just love little kids. So my nephew had a major surgery last Friday. He had the top of his head and the upper portion of his eye sockets reshaped. How scary is that? He has had one surgery like it before and his brother has had two it's just that neither of them had part of their eye sockets moved before. When I see him this weekend I will get some more pictures. I have some before ones and some of him from the hospital when he is all swollen and so I will get some more and post them on my website later. His second birthday was just earlier this month. **

**So seizures part, well I've had two in the past couple months and I think a few simple ones. Like throwing random objects without trying. I admit that holding a cup of boiling water was really stupid on my part but I was trying to make snow. There is a video on my site of me making snow. I didn't burn myself during the part you saw. Yeah it was before that when I was holding the first cup in the garage. I broke my cool incredible hulk cup! Anyway, my doctor hasn't seen me when I get bad and so she has decided that I'm crazy…Anyone know any good neurologists in Minnesota? I'm on the hunt for a new one. **

**Because of the fact that my epilepsy came back to the point that I started wandering around the apartment down south trying to figure out where people were and completely forgetting things I had to move back in with my parents. While I was gone they put a crib in my room for my little nephew to sleep in so now when he stays the night I have him in my room with me. That's just peachy. I miss my roomy the awesome author My-Bella. **

**Anyway, I hope this was okay. I have been out of the writing game for awhile and I'm trying my hardest. **

**With Love, **

**Hellopants**


	29. Thank God for Showers

**Disclaimer: I wouldn't be treated like a house elf if I owned it!**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty-Eight, Thank God for Showers _

_BPOV_

"Good morning, Isabella," Elizabeth smiled from her seat at the kitchen table. _Ugh no it's too early to deal with people_, I thought.

"Morning," I yawned. I grabbed a cup of juice and went straight to the bedroom. Edward was cuddling with a sleepy Oren on the bed. It felt good to crawl back onto the bed and settle under the covers even if I had to have my head propped up to drink my juice and feed my baby. Edward shifted Oren over to me and I moved him so he could eat.

"I guess I should get ready for work," Edward sighed, while rolling out of bed. He went into our bathroom and made a face at me through the doorway.

"Your mom is sitting in the kitchen wide awake," I informed him. "What am I supposed to do with her until I have to go to school? Better yet, what is she going to do while I'm at school?"

"I don't know, maybe you could paint each other's toenails," Edward laughed, as he closed the door.

Oren finished feeding rather quickly and I took him into the kitchen to try to get him to eat something else so his tummy would be nice and full. Elizabeth was watching everything I did from her seat; that seemed a bit odd to me. I worked my mommy magic and prepped some rice cereal in record time.

"I can help you with that if you want to sleep a little while longer," Elizabeth offered.

"Thank you! I was really hoping to de-stress before school but I figured I would have to wait until Edward and Oren left," I said, while secretly cheering Elizabeth in my head. I love my baby and love spending time with him, but I had way too many stressful things happening this week—and the fact that she was here was definitely one of them.

"Here, let me take this and you can head to your room."

I almost skipped back to the room because I decided to do something other than falling back asleep that was relaxing…a shower! I closed the bedroom door and then snuck into the room's bathroom. Then I quickly got undressed and opened the glass shower door to stand behind Edward. Oh the joys of relaxing showers.

Edward finally realized that I was in the shower with him when I put my head between his shoulder blades and relaxed into his back. "Hi," I smiled against him, with the water soothing me.

"Are you okay?" he asked sweetly.

"I'm fine, I just wanted to spend some time with you. You're always asking if I'm okay, are you?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I'm more than fine, although I wouldn't mind if you would let me turn around so I could hug you," Edward laughed. I gladly obliged and as soon as I could, I snuggled into Edward's chest. This shower wasn't sexual, it was just about being together…and getting clean.

"Edward, are you using my shampoo?" I asked with a laugh.

"However did you know?" he smirked.

"So that's where all my shampoo goes…"

"No, Oren eats your shampoo right off your hair and that's where it all goes," Edward joked.

"You use your fancy shampoo and I'll use my girly shampoo!" I mocked.

"Wait, where is Oren?" Edward inquired with a concerned tone.

"Your mom offered to watch him so I could sleep. I decided to take a shower with you instead and I'm glad I did," I said lovingly.

"Interesting…"

After about five minutes of showering, we were all cleaned up and ready to get out. Okay, so we didn't want to get out, but we couldn't stay in the shower forever. We slowly got out of the shower and started to towel ourselves off.

"Oh shit, I forgot to shave my legs," I commented, while drying my legs off.

"Don't worry, I love your legs whether they are hairy or not," Edward smiled, taking my towel and helping me dry off.

"You better like them hairy because in a few months I won't be able to reach them at all!"

When we were ready to get dressed we left our perfectly steamy bathroom. I was blissfully relaxed and I could have stayed in the bedroom all day.

"Guess what?" I asked Edward, while I sat on the end of the bed.

"You seem to have a strange fascination with that game lately," Edward laughed.

"I know, but you will like my answer once you guess," I smiled, trying to have a hint of wickedness in it.

"I'm guessing that you want my mother to take you shopping so that you can spend time together and apparently buy new linens since you seemed to love the ones in the hospital yesterday," Edward said jokingly.

"The first part of my answer you might not like. No, I don't want to go shopping and no, I don't want new linens. I was just going to say that I love you," I laughed, while giving Edward a little kick in the butt while keeping mine planted on the edge of the bed.

When we exited the room, I felt fresh and ready to start my day. That's when I saw Oren and Elizabeth and I decided that Edward needed to head to work early so Oren could get to daycare faster.

Elizabeth had dressed my kid in a sailor suit and it wasn't even a cute one from this era; it was old and kind of scary. It's odd to look at a child who can't walk and imagine them marching. The outfit looked more like a navy uniform than a child's outfit. It was just too real looking for my taste.

"Don't you just love it?" Elizabeth asked us, when she noticed we had stopped in the entrance to the living room.

"I've seen that before," Edward said with confusion thick in his voice.

"Silly Edward, of course you have," Elizabeth smiled. "It is the family sailor suit, passed down from the men with pride. Emmett wore it, your father wore it, and_ you_ wore it as well."

"That's so kind of you, Mom," Edward said through his teeth. I was so happy that he hated it too. "Look at the time, I should be getting to work. Let me just grab an apple and Oren, and then I can go." Edward went to the kitchen and grabbed his usual morning apple.

"Oh, nonsense," Elizabeth said, making a strange gesture with her free hand. "Leave my dear grandson with me. I have a full day planned."

Edward was standing behind his mother in the kitchen doorway shaking his head no toward me. He agreed with me about not letting his mother take Oren today.

"We already told the daycare that he would be there today," I said truthfully. Daycares don't like it when you change the schedule and don't warn them in advance.

"We'll Edward is supposed to stop there anyway so he can just pop in and tell them that Oren will be with me this week," Elizabeth beamed. Edward just about choked on his apple and I sat down on the couch rather swiftly.

"The week?" I squeaked.

"Well, of course," Elizabeth said with pride. "I can handle my grandson. I raised two fine boys and this little lad shouldn't be any trouble. As long as I am here this week, I will spend time bonding with Oren."

"Mom, the thing is—" Edward started.

"Edward Anthony Masen, what are you trying to say?" Elizabeth growled but with dignity…is that possible?

"Nothing, Mother," Edward grumbled. "I just thought you might like to see some of your friends or go shopping today."

"Maybe you would like to go shopping with me for baby stuff after I get out of school. We can have some girl time and Oren can go to daycare," I offered. Ugh, shopping with Elizabeth can only end in disaster.

"Perfect," Elizabeth gleamed in her fancy way. "I'll watch Oren and then the three of us will go shopping after you are finished with your test!" My mind began racing after that. Where had she gotten the idea that Oren would go with us?

"I thought you wanted girl time?" I choked out.

"One little boy will be okay," Elizabeth cooed to Oren.

~*~

After my test, I felt like my brain was dead. I had focused so hard that I had no idea how I was walking. I waved at Harlow and Lucas as I exited the school and found myself trying to think of excuses to stay home from shopping. The fact that I was pregnant and exhausted might just do it.

"Oh shit!" I said rather loudly. Elizabeth was outside my school! Not only was she outside of my school, she had rented a car and a driver. She must have thought that a town car would be too crowded with the driver and three of us because there was a small limousine behind her. Elizabeth was wearing a pant suit and I was shocked that it was free of baby vomit. When she noticed me she waved slightly and motioned to the car. I walked as fast as I could toward the car while giving some interesting looks to my soon to be mother in-law.

"What's going on, Elizabeth?" I asked with a hint of fear.

"I thought we could go shopping in style! I called Alice about what you like and she said that 'you needed a good shopping trip'. I just assumed this would make it a great shopping trip! Did I overdo it?" Elizabeth had sounded excited during the first part of her speech, the last part, however, sounded sullen.

"You overdid it. I'm tired, though, and from the bit of the seat I see through the door it looks like a good place to relax. Let's go shopping," I smiled to her. She had been thinking about me when she did this. When I had first met Elizabeth she'd hated me—this was a nice change from then.

I was right about the car seat; it was incredibly comfortable. My entire body wanted to sleep right there. Oren's car seat was sitting right next to me so I leaned over it and held his hand.

"What do you think of this car, Oren?" I asked, while making a silly face at him.

"Ma-ma," Oren giggled, as he clapped his hands.

"Your daddy would love seeing us in this car," I laughed.

"I have an idea!" Elizabeth smiled the wickedest smile I had ever seen on her face—it resembled Alice's. Scared doesn't even begin to describe how I felt.

**Author's Note,**

**Help! The people have taken over my mind! **

**The baby nephew reached up and actually tore out his stitches so he has been in the hospital for a grand total of two weeks. I hate it. I can't go visit because I have a cold. He now has a staff infection in his head and whenever he finally goes home he will have to be on IV treatments. Did I mention that my sister and her kids moved less than a mile away? Yep! The boys' mom had been in the hospital for a stomach flu or something like that and she is better now so she gets to go back to see the baby who had been left at the hospital without any parents because my brother-in-law is a dumb ass! **

**They moved and she wasn't there to help so I was stuck playing mommy to the four year old and unpacking their stuff and cleaning everything. I feel used and abused. **

**The newest house elf,**

**Hellopants **

**Oh yeah and I'm going to be in the cookie chat for awhile so come visit the link is on my profile!**


	30. Elizabeth the Queen of Shopping

**I don't own anything.**

**Epilepsy sucks ass. I couldn't update because I had a seizure and they mess with my brain for at least a week. Before that I was staying with my nephew at the hospital. He's out now and doing well. Other than that I haven't updated because my body is rebelling against me. **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Twenty-Nine, Elizabeth the Queen of Shopping_

_BPOV_

Sitting in Nordstrom's with your future mother-in-law could be fun if you enjoyed shopping. For me, however, it was torture. She had me trying on women's suits. Didn't they have a cheap jeans and sweatshirt department? Elizabeth had salespeople swarming around her while I sat half naked in a fancy dressing room that was actually a room, not just a stall with a swinging door, while trying to keep Oren from screaming or puking on clothes…very expensive clothes. We had been here for an hour and Elizabeth had already picked out clothes for all four of us. Her, Oren, the new baby that we didn't even know the sex of, and me.

The door behind me opened a little and I dreaded to see the new outfit Elizabeth had picked out. I watched in the mirror as a rather short dress was hung on the hook. Elizabeth would not have picked that out but…Alice would!

"Hello, Bella!" Alice screamed giddily, as she burst through the door. "Did you miss me?"

"Alice! Of course, I missed you so much!" I screamed, as I gave her a hug and joined in her giddiness. "What are you doing here?!"

"I had finals last week unlike our old un-cool school! This week is mine for play time! I wanted some time with Jasper and Edward didn't ask me, otherwise I would have saved you the drama of having Eddie's mom shacked up with you. Today Aunt Elizabeth called me out of the blue, I thought something bad had happened but she said that she wanted to surprise you and thought I could help. You need help in the fashion department and always have," Alice informed.

"I suppose I can't blame you for wanting some alone time with your man! I have a baby so I rarely get alone time with Edward," I smiled. That's when Oren started crying from all the girly screaming. Thankfully Alice had finally decided to close the door because I had been on display for the entire store.

"So what have you picked out so far?" Alice asked with pure interest.

"Nothing, Elizabeth decided to take charge of my clothing. I'll be turned into a debutant," I said sarcastically. "So now if you're in charge does that mean I'm going to get stuck in a mini skirt, high heels, and fishnets?" I picked Oren up out of his stroller and started bouncing him against my shoulder.

"Silly Bella," Alice giggled. "Edward would beat me if I put you in a mini skirt or fishnets. He would decapitate me if I put you in high heels. You tend to lose balance and if I caused you to fall, especially while you're pregnant, he wouldn't just kill me, he would take it farther."

"So what are we doing here? Why did Elizabeth rent a limo?" I asked.

"First let me snuggle my Godson, then I will explain as much as I'm allowed," Alice chuckled. I handed her Oren and she smiled and held him closely.

"I think he missed you as much as I did," I smiled. "So start talking."

"Start changing into that dress," Alice commanded. I grabbed the hanger and stuck my tongue out at Alice. Sometimes you just have to act like a kid.

I took the dress off of the hanger and tried to imagine what it would look like on me. If I had the perfect body and confidence like Rosalie, so pretty much if I was Rosalie it would look great. But I'm not that skinny, I don't have a very big chest although it has greatly improved since Oren, and I'm not the type of girl who is completely comfortable with their body, the dress scared me. My baby bump didn't help the situation.

"Alice, I can't wear this," I grumbled, hoping she would take pity on me.

"No, Bella, the other dress! The Roberto Cavalli is _all_ mine," Alice giggled. "Oops, I forgot to bring yours in the room!"

"That's good because I don't think it would have zipped up. The baby doesn't like tight clothes," I laughed.

"Aunt Elizabeth, are you out there?" Alice called.

"Yes, I am," Elizabeth's high class voice rang.

"Can you bring the dress in off of the chair out there?" Alice said in her sickeningly sweet voice.

A French manicured hand peeked through the door with the dress. It was really pretty so I decided I would take it. I changed as fast as I could and made sure I didn't leak anywhere. Breast feeding has its downsides but nursing pads helped. The dress made me feel pretty the peach satin bunched in the bust and flowed nicely to just above my knees and it had easy access straps so Oren could get his food. Also the dress was maternity so my little bump had some room.

"I changed, so what's the scoop?" I demanded. Alice sighed and then turned to me still holding my baby.

"She wants you to pick out some clothes for your latest slip in contraceptives and for the time it's still in there. Then she wants to let you and Edward have some _alone_ time!" Alice chirped.

"That is so…expensive. I love it but I need you to hide all the price tags you can," I said in all seriousness. "I cannot know how much this stuff is or I'll end up passing out and Edward will blame Elizabeth and you!"

"Consider it done!" Alice said like a fairy completing a wish.

The shopping seemed to never end. I went from store to store, from dressing room to dressing room. Elizabeth shopped like Alice except with refinement instead of squealing like a giddy little girl. Alice and Elizabeth forced me to follow them into a fancy sitting room connected to the restroom back at Nordstrom's. Oren was sleeping through the chaos in his stroller.

"Time to doll you up, my pretty," Alice said, sounding a little too much like the wicked witch from _The Wizard of Oz_.

"Why would I need to get dolled up just for some alone time? I was just going to go home and then have Edward drive us over to Denny's," I mentioned.

"Dear," Elizabeth started with grace. "You are not going home, you are going to have a nice dinner with my son."

"Aunt Elizabeth can't handle Oren," Alice whispered in my ear. "I'm gonna stay with you for the rest of the week while she 'helps Esme with the graduation party planning'. And Oren is _so_ going to his daycare. I can't do a whole week of baby watching without help. It wasn't my broken condom so it isn't my job!"

"I'm so happy that you're spending time with me! We're roomies for life, you know. So where am I going exactly?" I inquired.

"It is a surprise," Elizabeth gleamed.

Alice did amazing work. Her purse was filled with more makeup than I owned. She even had a battery powered curling iron in there. I always loved what Alice could fit into a bag and even more what she could do with it. My hair was curled and held behind my ear with the hair clip they bought me. The peach dress fit perfectly and my makeup matched the style of the dress and hair.

"My work here is done," Alice announced proudly.

"Let us get you out to the limo," Elizabeth smiled. "Alice, you have a car outside, correct?"

"Yes, ma'am!" she giggled.

"Do you have room for dear Oren?" Elizabeth asked sweetly.

"Of course!"

I didn't go to the prom in some fancy car. In fact the nicest car I've ridden in is Edward's Aston Martin Vanquish. Yes, he made me learn the name. So riding in the back of the stretch limo to Edward's work in a silky dress all dolled up made me feel a little overwhelmed…or it might have been my hormones. The driver pulled us up to Edward's office building and I started to feel a little panicked. I knew Edward would love me no matter what but the last time we had a fancy dinner was before Oren was born. That and he wasn't going to be the one driving.

I called Edward's cell phone and he answered on the first ring. "Hey, honey, is everything okay?" he asked sounding a bit worried.

"Everything is perfectly fine. I just wanted to call and see how you were doing and ask if you wanted me to pick anything up," I said slyly.

"Well, I would love to pick _you_ up…and have some _fun_…" Edward said in his extra sexy voice.

"How about _I_ pick _you_ up?" I asked sweetly. "You should hurry up and get out of work."

"And why exactly is that?"

"Because I'm already here to pick you up, silly! Get your cute ass out to the front of the building!" I giggled, and then ended the call.

I opened the sunroof of the limo and in tacky movie style I stood through the opening. The time between the phone call and Edward's wide eyes staring at me as he walked out of the building was only three minutes. With how big the office building was he must have ran the entire way.

"Bella, what is going on?" Edward asked, with a stunned expression.

"Get in the car and I'll tell you!" I smirked.

Edward got into the car and I slipped back inside and closed the sunroof. He was looking at me in a way that made me blush.

"You look amazing and I love you more than you can know, but what's all this about, Bella?" Edward inquired.

"I love you too. Surprisingly your mother showed up at my school in this fancy limo and we did the shopping I had promised her. Then she took off in someone else's car and sent me here all dressed up," I smiled. "So now that I have you…we can eat! For the first time I'm glad you have to dress up for work. It saves us a stop."

"Did my mother forget to feed you?" Edward laughed. "So where exactly are we eating?" he asked, before kissing me.

"I don't know, but don't you dare stop," I replied against his lips. The entire car ride was spent kissing. When you have a child you don't get much time to spend doing naughty things with your man. Not only did we get a car ride full of kissing, but we had the shower that morning. If that kept up, we would be quite content.

"Here we are," I heard the driver say, as he opened the door for us. Thankfully we had stopped kissing when the car stopped.

When we stepped out of the limo, we found ourselves in front of a tall iron gate covered in ivy. On both sides of the gate, tall shrubs with lights covering them hid whatever was inside. The gate swung open as we walked toward it. There was a waiter in a fancy suit holding it open and as we walked in, we discovered that the shrubs held an outdoor restaurant.

Small candles hung from wires overhead and there were tables covered in white linen with wrought iron legs. On each table stood a crystal bowl with lilies and lavender roses filling it. Nothing could have prepared me for the splendor of this garden. There were flowers everywhere. It was better than the garden we sat and watched fireflies in at Edward's parents' and that was saying something.

"You are the Masen party, correct?" a server at a small podium asked.

"Ye—" Edward started.

"NO! Just looking!" I yelled and turned around as swift as I could, heading for the gate. I fumbled with the gate because my fingers wouldn't stop shaking and tried my hardest to escape what had once been a dream of a night.

"Bella, what's going on?" Edward asked with concern. I however escaped the gate of doom and slid to the side walk where I sat as lady like as I could in a dress. My head kept telling me that I shouldn't act like this, that I was acting like I was back in high school.

"Can we just go, please?" I mumbled.

"Bella, is that you?" the person I had avoided for years called from the gate.

**Ha! Ha! I made a cliffy! I feel special!**


	31. George

**Disclaimer: I own it and that's why it's so short. Sorry. **

**I couldn't get enough written for a full chapter so this is what I can give you. I'll have a longer chapter for you soon.  
**

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Thirty, George_

_BPOV_

"_Bella, is that you?" The person I had avoided for years called from the gate._

"Nope, I have no idea who this Bella person is," I said nervously, while turning my head away from him.

"Honey, are you okay?" Edward asked, crouching down in front of where I was sitting on the sidewalk. Then he turned my head slightly so he could look into my eyes.

"I just…I'm not hungry," I muttered. Edward looked at me with disapproval. He knew I was lying and he knew not to say anything about it…at least not now.

"I knew it was you, Bells! How have you been? Well, except for right now that is?" the dumb-ass asked.

"Edward, I want to go home," I whispered.

"Okay," Edward whispered back, before turning to face the evil person. "Morning sickness doesn't just happen in the morning. It's been nice meeting you, but I think we had better go."

"I didn't even catch your name, Dude," the stupid, stupid jerk said to Edward.

"I'm Edward and I think it's time I take Bella back to _our_ house," Edward said trying to restrain himself.

"Nice to meet you, Edward. I'm George. It's good to see someone is talking care of my girl. Though if that morning sickness comment is true, you might want to start watching where your sperm lands," George said with his moronic cocky attitude.

"I'm not your girl, nor was I ever your girl. My babies are none of your business, and his sperm landed in just the right spot to grant us our greatest joys!" I said with anger flaring a bit inside of me. I stood up and started walking toward George with my hands clenched, but Edward grabbed me around the waist gently and kept me at his side. Hormones—some days you love them, some days you hate them.

"Think of the baby. Last time we were in a fight, we ended up in a holding cell. We don't want our kids in jail," he whispered into my ear. "I'll go there from beating this boy, but you and the baby aren't going too."

"Aw, Bella, come on," George smiled. "I'm sure you remember. High school wasn't that long ago. May I say that I envy you, Edward—she didn't have that nice of a rack in school. Though I didn't have to deal with a shit load of screaming, pooping babies."

"You need to stop, _right now_. I'm not getting stuck at the police station over your stupid comments like I did with the last guy who was rude to Bella. Trust me when I say that he is no longer a problem to any woman," Edward threatened. We turned around with Edward's arms around my waist. I was proud of him for not _really_ losing his temper. If this had happened when we'd first started dating, he would have ripped George's head off.

"Hey Bells, I know you'll never forget your first!" George yelled from in front of the gate.

There went Edward's temper. It soared away faster than a jet. Edward let go of me, ran his fastest to the gate, and gave one punch good enough to knock George out cold. Then he ran back to me while dialing his phone. He wrapped his free arm around me and we walked to another street while Edward told the limo driver to come get us.


	32. Hungry for Love?

**Disclaimer: If I owned it I'd have someone get me more pain pills.**

**I want Dr. House to fix me! That and give me some of his pain pills because my head is trying to see how much pain I can actually handle. I'm almost to the breaking point. If my head doesn't stop hurting soon I don't know when I will be able to concentrate on writing. **

**I will get to reviews when I don't feel like ripping people's heads off. I should warn you that if you give me a bad review in any way shape of form right now I don't have the strength to hold my inner bitch locked away. There was your warning. **

**Not edited! **

_One Year in Heaven's Hell_

_Chapter Thirty-One, Hungry for Love?_

_BPOV_

"Isn't that just cute?" I whispered to Edward, as we looked at our living room floor. Alice was sprawled across the floor asleep with Oren nuzzled up to her side.

We had just gotten back from Denny's. Our date went from posh restaurant to a chain diner. I loved eating at Denny's but it's just not very intimate. I couldn't decide at that point if Edward's lack of comments about George were a good thing or a bad thing. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew he would ask questions at some point. Hopefully not until we're ninety years old and he forgets what he is saying halfway through.

"Do you think we should wake her up?" Edward asked in a whisper.

"She's left me on the floor when I passed out after drinking so I say one night on the floor will be good for her. We should put Oren in his crib though," I replied. The rare times I would drink I usually ended up falling on the floor and deciding to just sleep there. Alice would push me out of the halls but never wake me up so I could go to a real bed. She maybe my best friend but drinking impairs judgment in all areas.

I gently picked up Oren, trying not to wake him and took him to his bedroom. After I put him in his crib I snuck into our bedroom and pulled out the pretty panties. My date night would not get ruin even if it went off course. I could hear Edward doing something in the other room which worked perfectly for me. I found my white baby doll lingerie with the lace up bust and slipped it on as fast as I could. Then I hid under the covers of the bed so he couldn't see what I was wearing and to take the joke farther I turned on the little television Edward had put in our room for when I get stuck in bed. I put _Doctor Who _on and then just sat back and relaxed.

"Hey honey," Edward said sexily, as he walked into the room. His face faltered a little when he saw that I was just watching television. I felt a little bad for teasing him but not enough to stop.

"Hey sweetie, are you ready for bed?" I asked coyly.

"I suppose," he shrugged with a pout hidden on his face. I watched him strip down to his boxers and even better than that he put his dirty laundry into the hamper! Now that's what I call sexy! Once Edward crawled under the covers I turned off the TV and but left my bedside light on.

"Oh I forgot, I have to go to the bathroom to wash off this makeup," I said demurely. I kept my eyes on Edward's face as I moved the covers off of me. He looked like he might have just run a mile. That always makes a girl feel special!

"I think that you should just stay in bed," Edward smirked. _Oh yes, this would be a good night_, I thought.

"But what about this makeup?" I asked playing innocent. Slowly I stood from the bed and started toward the bathroom.

"Don't worry about it, please. I'm not above begging right now," Edward informed me with a serious look on his face.

"Is something wrong, Edward?" I asked in all seriousness. Edward just shook his head no. He was lying. "Tell me."

"How do you stand it?" Edward asked looking pained.

"Stand what?"

"You've met a girl I had been with. Tonight is the first time I've met someone you've actually dated. The fact that you had other men in your life had never really registered in my brain until a few hours ago. How could you even stand having me sit near my ex-girlfriend when I visited your school? We only saw this asshole for five minutes and I wanted to commit murder. He didn't even touch you and I wanted to rip his head off," Edward admitted. I moved to the edge of his side of the bed and sat next to where he was lying.

"It's like you've told me, it was nothing and honestly if I could change even knowing him I would," I told him, staring straight into his eyes.

"Who exactly is this guy, Bella?" Edward asked with fear.

"Well…George…I dated him when my mother's drinking was really bad. I wanted someone to care about me so the first person who showed any form of compassion and interest was the one I clung to," I bowed my head feeling ashamed of how I had let my mother's drinking effect me.

"I can't imagine what it would have been like living with her," Edward said as he tried to make eye contact with me.

"You heard the last comment he made so I'm sure you know that part of the story. I broke up with him six months after we had started dating because he had been fooling around with someone else. Small town gossip can be helpful sometimes. That's how I found out about the other girl getting pregnant. That rumor filled the town, then George ran and I have to admit that I think the girl was better off without him around. I hadn't heard anything since. The shock of seeing that ass made me want to vomit in disgust," I said truthfully, trying not to remember anything that had happened around that time. Some times if you can't forget you lock it away in a vault where it will only escape when mentioned.

"I understand that you were having trouble with your mother but I just can't see _you_ wanting someone like _that_. Why did you let him be your first?"

"I honestly don't know, but I'm glad I wasn't the other girl. My body and my babies belong to you and only you," I smiled to him.

"I think we should switch to this subject about your body…that includes your wonderful brain too right?" Edward smirked slightly cheering up. "That mind of yours is incredibly sexy."

"You are the only man that my brain has ever wanted," I laughed.

"I'm happy to hear that," Edward smiled contently. He grabbed my hand and had me lie on my side next to him. "My future wife," he sighed.

"My future husband," I sighed back. We had the same idea at the same time we both leaned in and our lips met lightly. I pulled back slightly with my nose resting against his. "If I ever run into that sorority bitch again I _will_ hurt her," I whispered.

"Now that I know what it's like, I wouldn't even attempt to stop you," Edward said against my lips. He grabbed my hips and rolled himself on his back so that I was lying on his chest. "I think it's time we showed the world that no one else will ever mean more to us than each other."

"Don't forget the babies, they mean a lot in a different way," I murmured, while placing small kisses onto his chest.

"Like you said, in a different way." That was the end of all coherent discussion. Our bodies showed the world that the two of us could never love anyone but each other. Edward's hands moved every where with possession and I did the same for him. He is the only man who could ever own my heart.

"Ma-Ma!" I heard Oren scream. I inwardly groaned at how early he liked to wake up. When I looked at the clock it said that it was four in the morning. I started to crawl out of bed when I looked over to see one of Edward's hips and a naked butt cheek. On the side of his hip there was a darker spot but without much light in the room it was hard to tell what it was.

Oren had quieted down on his own so I turned on the bed lamp to get a better look at Edward's hip. Sure enough there was a purple bruise forming. I felt the insatiable urge to poke it so I did just that.

"Ouch!" Edward almost yelled, into his pillow. "What the hell was that for?"

"You have a bruise," I giggled. "Where did you get a bruise from?"

"_You_," He replied, sinking his head further into the pillow.

"When did that happen?" I asked curiously.

"When you bit me," Edward yawned.

"Why did I bite you?"

"Bella, it's too early for twenty questions," He murmured.

"It's never too early for twenty questions when it involves your naked body," I giggled.

"I don't know why you bit me, maybe you were hungry," Edward sighed, as he rolled over to face me. I noticed he didn't put any weight on his hip though. That must have been a good bite.

"Sure make fun of the pregnant woman," I joked, then poked my tongue out at him.

"I'm not making fun of you, I really don't know why. Could you have been trying to make a scar to mark me as yours for life?" Edward smiled crookedly.

"Maybe," I laughed. Slowly I stood up and walked to the bathroom still naked and did one thing pregnant women do best. Edward walked into the bathroom behind me now wearing a pair of boxers but the bite mark was high enough on his hip that I could still see it.

"Did you find your payback?" Edward asked me with a menacing grin on his face. When I looked in the mirror I wanted to hit him. Not only did I have a matching bite mark, that thankfully was not as bad as his, I also had quite a few small hickies right above my right breast that were connected into a smiley face!

"Look at you! You're all grown up and can stand seeing a smiley face without cringing! Good for you!" I smiled evilly, before I gave him a pat of congratulations on his bruise. "Good for you!"

**I know how I sound in my author's thingy but seriously I'm in pain and I don't even have full feeling in one of my arms so wouldn't you be upset too?**


	33. Please Read

**Author's Note!**

I hate to post an author's note just to ask for a favor, but I really need one from all of you. My friend Bronze, one of the sweetest people I've met on this site and a fellow FF author, lost her friend Daddy's Little Cannibal recently. Today, someone opened a Fanfiction account solely to post an awful message on EVERY story Bronze and DLC wrote. I'm including the link to that person's profile page as well as what they put in their review.

All I ask of you is that you please write to reportabuse at fanfiction dot com and ask for this person's account and all related reviews to be deleted. You have to send it from your email program. It's not within fanfiction.

This is not something any fanfiction writer or reader should be subjected to. We are in mourning for a fellow FF writer/reader and no one should be allowed to post something this hurtful and disgusting.

(change all the "dot" listed below to a period to reach the address in your search bar)

Review posted by **Don't Flip My Bitch Switch ID # **1932508 http:// www dot fanfiction dot net/u/1932508/Dont_Flip_My_Bitch_Switch

Rejoyce! The wicked bitch is dead.

How rich! Oh the Irony hahahaha. All those flames about how she should just drop dead and it actually happens. IT ACTUALLY HAPPENS! I can honestly say that May 08, 2009 is the best day of my life. The day this mediocre shit that Stephanie Bell has been posting for years has finally COME TO AN END. Everyone says the best moment of the girls' life is her prom, or her wedding, or her first crib midget. But I STRONGLY disagree. The best moment of THIS girl's life was the moment STEPHANIE BELL WAS HIT BY THAT DRUNK DRIVER AND DIED! I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FUCKTACULAR IDEAS BURN IN THE FIREY PITS OF HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!

P.S. Keep the responses coming. I LOVE THEM

Please send an email to **reportabuse at fanfiction dot com** and ask for this account and these horrible reviews to be deleted. Even if you don't know Bronze or DLC, please do it anyway. Please think of how her family will feel when they see these horrible messages. They knew their daughter wrote FF and loved to write on this site. They will see it. Think if this was your family or your friend.

We humbly beg for your help with this matter.

My-Bella, Hellopants, & Lizbre

If you would like to discuss this or anything else at least one of us will be in the cookie chat room and we would love help spreading the word about this injustice. There is a link on both my and My-Bella's profiles.


	34. Thank You

**Author's Note!**

Thank you!!! A huge mega humongous thank you to all of the support for Bronze and DLC. Fanfiction has removed the account and the reviews, and as far as I can tell, they did remove them from all of the stories. This could not have been done without all of the help and the outpouring of support from so many on fanfiction. Thank you so much!!

With a huge, heartfelt thank you,

My-Bella, Hellopants, & Lizbre


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